AIBU: The threads that annoy you most

[user1471517900]

Like those where the OP writes hardly anything and expects others to entertain them.

Now you go.

I have sex 10 times a day. I have this sex in a variety of exciting and interesting places and positions you?

TBH I love perving at these threads. I like to pretend I hate them.

The 'self requested support thread'

• I want to do x goal
• great how about doing suggestion 1
• nah because blah
• ah ok what about suggestion 2
• nah because blah
• repeats up to helpful suggestion 743 from poster 530 and someone finally snaps 'well what can / will you do to achieve this 'apparently important to you goal'
• shrieks of how dare you be arsey 'this is a support thread your post is really not helping me'

Nope. This is a self indulgent, cheerleader requesting post to which you only want 1000 virtual 'high fives' for your vague assertions you might do something.

Not so much a thread, but when posters use the excuse "There's an off button, if you don't like my completely unneccesary rudeness honesty".
Yes. That 'off button' works both ways. If I see posts I think I just move on.

The thing I hate on threads and I just spotted it tonight is when someone puts Reader into their post or even worse Dear Reader

Reader I ate the whole cake

Dear Reader I drank the rest of the bottle

I don't know why it pisses me off so much but that's it thread over as far as I'm concerned when I see that

It's a Jane Eyre reference, Red. Reader: I married him.

I know but it doesn't make it right

I'm with you on that Redglitter, I too loathe the whole 'Reader' thing.

I'm also aware of where it come from - mind you it irritates me there too ("Reader I married him" - whatever luv). In fact it's probably partly why it irks. Posters thinking they are classical writers, or maybe because they are copying it. Maybe it's because it comes across like they feel everyone is terribly, terribly interested in what they are writing. Actually I'm not sure why it just seems conceited.

It's up there with the whole 'dicuss' thing.

I hate the ones where you get moaned at for not reading the thread when the threads over ten pages long.....who can be arsed reading all that? I just post something vaguely relevant to me

oh and I hate cutsey threads, like guess what my toddler did this morning, followed bu something charming and cutsey, usually by a poster with mummy in the name...gives me the dry boak

It helps to skim read the OP's posts because then you're up to date and less likely to post some irrelevance that was ruled out five pages ago.

but that takes time pictish and sometimes I cant be doing with all that

its probably the reason people never answer me

YY to the competitive frugality. There's a thread at the moment where the OP states she doesn't own a TV license as she only watches Netflix and ITV on catch up etc, not live TV. But she does have a TV set.

Cue dozens of posters with competitive non-TV watchingg. "You own a TV and console? Pah! I've never even seen a TV, in fact I had to google what one was. We prefer to gether round as a family reading Dostoyevsky, so much fun"

Screen time bugs my brain how much screen time do you give your child ? like it is a parenting project or something. you get oh my dc doesn' t get to watch television they are allowed to watch 7 minutes of peppa pig a week on the i pad ! urgh give me strength

I hate the ones where you get moaned at for not reading the thread when the threads over ten pages long.....who can be arsed reading all that? I just post something vaguely relevant to me

ssd I posted that exact same point about 10 pages upthread. RTFT!

OP: 'My partner is abusive, lazy, smashes things and drinks a bottle of scotch before breakfast. This morning he punched me in the face and kicked our cat to death before gambling away my life savings playing online poker. We have a six-month-old baby and I really need to get away before my child is old enough to see how toxic this relationship is. What are my rights and how do I find a good solicitor?'

Reply: 'For God's sake, why on earth did you have a child with this man?'

I'm sure it's what we're all thinking, but what's the point in saying it? How is it helping? The child's here now; she can't shove it back up her fanny along with her regrets, FFS.

I posted that exact same point about 10 pages upthread. RTFT!

I haven't RTFT so it's likely someone has this already. I feel like a bitch saying this but there have been so many posts recently, likely due to Christmas/family stress, where I just want to say to the OP, "Grow a backbone! Why do you put up with this shit?" Obviously the poster, for some reason, doesn't feel she can stand up for herself, so it would be really nasty for me to post that. But I think it. Oh boy, I think it.

People who come on a thread and say "first world problems."

In my mind I smack them hard about the head and shoulders with a wad of hundred-dollar-bills.

actually, I've just realised about 75% of threads on here do my nut in

Competitive normalising.

OP - 'is it ok that my seven and five year old share a bath?'
Posters - are you insane, of course it's ok. My DC are 46 and 43 and still share a bath.

The other threads that annoy me - and no one else will probably agree - is the hand holding requests. By all means post and look for the support but to have 30 people saying 'I'm holding your hand' always strikes me as just ridiculous.

And yes I get the sentiment behind it etc it just ugh I hate those

People who derail a really good thread

Perfumephobes,who boldly tell everyone they mustn't wear perfume as it causes them discomfort
They then describe symptoms akin to mustard gas poisoning if they smell perfume
pages of embellished descriptions of how they hate perfume and how a whiff of Dior is poison

Oh get over it,plenty people wear perfume and a fair few with BO should be more liberal with soap and perfume

OP My Dh hasn't spoken to me for a month, except to slag me off and call me a bitch, he refuses to work, and spends 27 hours a day on the X box

and then But he's a really good dad

Seriously !

There are always swathes of posters who like to insist that they loathe perfectly normal things. I get that everyone has differing tastes and you'll always get the occasional person who actually isn't all that fussed on things that most people like. But I once saw someone insist that they couldn't stand fresh air, it made them ill just thinking about the smell of fresh air. And that's why they never opened their windows and I just thought . They weren't even being humorous, because I had seen them around before and had noted the overblown drama of always hating absolutely everything that anyone else liked. It was a step away from declaring a hatred of breathing.