AIBU: The threads that annoy you most

[user1471517900]

Like those where the OP writes hardly anything and expects others to entertain them.

Now you go.

I earn £250, 000 a week. I don't know where the money goes. Most of it goes on fripperies but the gardener charges a fortune something about "servicing the leylandii", I really don't understand.

Got to go " Mellors is that you?"

Oh I thought it was people masturbating in the leylandii, not fapping leylandii themselves. Was gonna post a PA about how the sap can cause skin irritation in some people. Must read more carefully next time.

"Mellors have you got a sap rash?"

So many I agree with.

Also

1 - my 8 year old weighs 46 stone but all he eats is one weetabix for breakfast, a spoonful of hummus and carrots for lunch and for dinner a tiny piece of cod and some steamed veggies. I also give him £30 a day which he spends on sweets and pop. Advice?

2 - the poster who just writes a little question and some dots every now and again, presumably to show how terribly clever she is and to encourage others to think as deeply ("but what makes you think that.......? .......")

1. Definitely the boastful ones "found a frog dying in the street, I took the week off work to nurse it back to health - was I being unreasonable?" Cue: no you're such a caring person.

1. This is really my fault but sometimes a really really upsetting thread about some abusive situation and everyone really rooting for the OP and hoping all is ok and then you don't hear back from them and start thinking they've been stabbed to death.

4. This is really my fault but sometimes a really really upsetting thread about some abusive situation and everyone really rooting for the OP and hoping all is ok and then you don't hear back from them and start thinking they've been stabbed to death.

Oh this! I still think about some threads from a couple of years ago and hope the poster is living happily .. or at least living :(

chippednailvarnishing

Threads where the OP posts flowery descriptions of a situation in the hope of pursading people to agree with them.
I couldn't give less of a shit whether your cooking is scrumptious or your garden is fragrant.

^this and when a usually stroppy poster starts an OP where they are falling over themselves to sound reasonable to get the response they want. You know: 'I totally know that everyone has a right to an opinion and that's totally cool with me, I just felt that as I'd asked in a really lovely polite way for XXXX, my friend could have responded a bit more politely but I do get that she's human' ETC ETC.

Cauliflower

Yes to number to number 3 on your list and the way they always pretend someone has said they've done the wrong thing in order to get an AIBU in: 'I rescued an injured bunny for a crying 3 year old child but my friend says I should have asked her mother first. AIBU?'

Yes and they have to fake "but maybe I should have asked her mother first - I feel terrible now - it's just the bunny was so injured and the 3 year old was so upset"

Cue - no no no, if that was my 3 year old I would be buying you a huge present because you're such a caring person. I wish everyone could be like you (unmumsnetty hugs) Here have some

The threads (usually in AIBU) where the op goes to great lengths and descriptive passage of how polite and thoughtful they were in whatever situation they obviously want everyone to see them as reasonable.

Once I read 'I terribly politely...' or similar I tend to get a whiff of bullshit.

People asking for gift ideas for 'my 8 year old niece' or 'my 60 year old MIL' as if everyone of the same age and sex shares exactly the same interests.

when people start a thread, claiming not to know a famous person - if you really don't know, get on fucking google! And if you don't know who they are, why are you starting a thread about them?!

I don't go into relationship threads for the very reason that the person is in real danger if they don't come back im concerned for them

Stitch, oh yes, I agree with this one! It's as if not having heard if some celebrity somehow makes you culturally superior! These days, it just means you are not up to date with current affairs, as even the broadsheets and Radio 4 make references occasionally.

Pity party martyr threads.

Celebrity threads- ''which celebrity have you met''?- purrrhleaase, these people are as HUMAN as you and me.

On the celebrity theme

"I met this celebrity the other day. Can't tell you who it was for their privacy but he is nothing like his character on tv"

Cue pages and pages of "come on op give us a clue!!"

"I really shouldn't..but think children's tv..popular"

And on and on it goes! Either tell us who it is or don't bother starting a thread!

Pretty much all of the threads on MN towards the end of Christmas or the Summer Holidays.
Everyone is SO ANGRY.
Even the most innocuous threads turn into WWIII

On threads about fashion likes and dislikes, when people take things a bit too personally:

POSTER 1: I hate pink trousers, I think they're hideous.
POSTER 2: Me too, and blue trousers.
POSTER 3: Oh no! I only have pink and blue trousers! What colour trousers should I be wearing, then? I can't believe I have to throw away all my trousers...

Threads that seem very po faced, that over extrapolate from one act.

No, I'm not talking about the sibling/console/in app purchase thread at all.

Mrs yes!! And "you'd hate me/this house."

Poster 1- we only had two children as we only have a 3 bed house and wanted the children to have a room each.
Poster 2 - you'd HATE me, I have 6 kids in a1 bed flat.

"I've never heard of the Kardashian's! Who are they?"

Am I pregnant? Can you see a fucking line?! Then yeh probably, but really why not just piss on another stick and check?

Ones where people are whinging about the fact that their DP has - shock! horror! gone on a night out with their friends

Oh and the fake ones where other mums get sucked in and are probably wiring over their cash to little Winnie and Johnny who won't get any xmas presents this year.......

OP: My Partner is missing
MN: What happened?
OP: It is xx time of year and her has gone out and I have no idea where jhe is
MN: Might have drunk too much with his friends
OP: Of COURSE he has not, he said he wouldn't drink!
MN: But it is xx time, he might have gone to the pub with his mates
OP: You clearly don't listen, I said he promised not to drink. at MN.
MN: Think you should consider that he has gone drinking
OP: Of course he hasn't

Silence, then people asking OP for an update.

OP: Turned out he went to the pub with his mates and got pissed, is now sleeping it off.