AIBU: The threads that annoy you most

[user1471517900]

Like those where the OP writes hardly anything and expects others to entertain them.

Now you go.

"Who is your favourite mumsneter"

Arse licking and cringy as fuck

Have never seen one of those. Favourite Mumsnetter, eh!? Lol
How utterly pitiful. It used to happen where I once posted, too.

There is nothing wrong with kicking my butt

Ffs meant licking...I need a ladder

The ones where op has rushed on to be first to say someone has died, or maybe died, or could be dying. They usually pop up seconds after the BBC breaking news and you can tell they've typed really quickly and a short op so they can be the first thread, then brag to tell those who posted 10 seconds later they won have started a thread already

I hate the ones which go into excruciating detail about particularly revolting bodily functions. There was one quite recently began by a woman who stank out an entire bus and wondered why a couple of fellow travellers were not exactly pleased. Hate when pics are provided too.

...begun by a woman

I hate the ones about stupidly dear handbags. Usually started by vacuous types.

Hate the competvely poor threads.race to out do each other in misery
Innocuous thread about which bag to chose ends in name calling
As others relate tales of free Iceland bag or vinyl bag retrieved from a Skip.or scabby rucksack that visit £1.55

I always think there is something fishy about favourite mumsnetter threads

Fishy? Not another stinky thread.

Threads about a gonflict in a social group fearuring an extensive cast involving most of the alphabet. I rarely grasp who did what as my attention span fails me.

The ones where op has rushed on to be first to say someone has died, or maybe died, or could be dying. They usually pop up seconds after the BBC breaking news

Yeah. No kidding.
MN is usually my source of breaking news!

In the case of Camilla's dermise we on MN beat the BBC.

Due in no small part to the fact she is alive but we shouldn't let that hold us back.

What's that smell?

Nothing wrong with being ahead of the game. Bit

Anything about what to pack in a lunchbox. Stop hand-wringing and pack what your child enjoys / is a reasonably well balanced meal.

Anything absurd that a poster says their child said happened at school that hasn't been confirmed by an adult who was actually there.

When there is a post about a celebrity that is clearly named in the post title and people flock in to say how little they care about the ongoings of that celebrity's lifestyle and therefore nobody else should either (particularly annoying on the sleb twaddle page...if you don't care, why are you there??)

legohouse yy
A poster will put something like:
Is a cheese roll, a banana, an inch of cucumber, 3 cocktail sausages and a bottle of water OK for my 4 year old?
And subsequent posters who are either
A) "that's so unhealthy" ugh so many carbs/sugar
B) is that all you give your child? He must be starving. My child would have that for morning snack!

In the case of Camilla's dermise we on MN beat the BBC.

'Due in no small part to the fact she is alive but we shouldn't let that hold us back.'

'What's that smell?'

That gave me my first MN LOLZ of 2017, thank you.

The ungrateful babysitter ones that go -

"MIL looks after DS, aged 2, 5 days a week while we work and has done since I came off maternity leave. This is convenient as it saves us £1000 a month in childcare costs. She spends the day doing crafts, reading and teaching him to write. However, I recently found out that she lets him watch CBeebies for up to 20 minutes a day! I'm absolutely furious, WIBU to confront her about this and tell her it has to stop INSTANTLY!!"

The replies are always amusing though as they range from "Stop being a twat and count yourself lucky" to "your baby your rules Hun tell the bitch to stop or she doesn't see him again"

Cherry shouldn't that be "ur baby, ur rules".

I feel dirty just typing that.

"ur baby, ur rules

Or the equally pernicious 'happy mumma, happy bubz, hun' when used to validate self centered behaviour.

Orphans who smoke.

I bet Camilla buys those bags.

Oh and I hate threads where people are 'fummimg'. That's masturbation, not being cross with your neighbour's leylandii

Bill I think I missed the thread about the masturbating leylandii and the cross neighbour, but I think it sounds like a good one.

I hate the ''mumsnet myth ones' like one I saw a few days ago.

Poster 1: 'it's a myth that you can see a lawyer for a free half-hour consultation'.
Poster 2 'no it's not, I saw one.
Poster 3 'so did I'.

Poster 4. 'It's a myth that a chicken can feed a family of 4 for a week.
Poster 5 'it happens in our house'
Poster 6 'same here'

'Dialling 911 to log an incident with the police is a load of bollocks'
'No it's not, I've done it'
Etc
Etc

FFS.