AIBU: The threads that annoy you most

[user1471517900]

Like those where the OP writes hardly anything and expects others to entertain them.

Now you go.

I hate when posters are LIVID!

Learn to drive.
Retrain.
Go back to college/uni.
Change jobs.
Relocate.
LTB
Go NC

When someone asks for advice about bedtime routines - Children don't have bedtimes in Norway

When someone asks how to settle their child into Reception - Children don't start school in America until they're 85 years old

How the fuck does that help the OP who lives in the UK?

The insufferably smug "You doknow [inserts factoid known only to astrophysicists who moonlight as brain surgeons and has nothing to do with thread] don't you, OP?" poster.
No. I don't know and, what's more, I don't care. Fuck off.

The guess my age threads

What's the bloody point.

Steffi - The point of guess my age threads is for other posters to tell them they look much younger than they actually do. Of course, it can backfire spectacularly

"How long does it take tasks drive from Manchester to Cardiff?"

Fucking GOOGLE.

*To, not tasks.

Fucking autocorrect.

Is there anything left that we can post about? I have to be in the minority that I don't find a parking thread that riveting but people seem to love those. Basically holding out for a massive row between the neighbours.

Yes Worra and also when someone is worrying about their child's (usually) reading, they're met with "children don't start school until they're older in XYZ".
But the point is if your child us being taught something and the other children are picking it up it is worth looking to see if there's a reason begin it. Early intervention won't harm a child who us just a late starter, but not having it can harm a child who needs more help.
Comparing them with someone who isn't learning is like comparing apples and bricks.
Ds can't swim. He hardly ever goes swimming because he has ear issues. I fully expect him to learn very quickly when he has lessons.
One of his friends has had lessons since she was 4yo and still can't swim. That is clearly more worrying.

And the "can I dress my boy in pink/a dress" otherwise known as "please note I'm a wonderfully liberal mum and praise me". Irritate me too.

I've never been livid before. :( Am I missing out?

"I was at a party with DH, DS1, DD2, DD3, DTS, DS, DFIL, DB, DB'S GF, DB'S MIL, DM, DA, and DNs. DB's GF said to DB's MIL that..."

FUCKING TYPE IT OUT if your post is a random string of letters!

Magic Absolutely agree. I've done it too and been called out for it.

Threads that ultimately read as "woman can never be wrong, man can never be right" really annoy me.

Sparkling Glad to see we're now on the same page.

Go on how old do i look oh i dunno Op 67 ?

I am also tiring of reading 'oh and by the way, if it makes any difference I suffer from anxiety and depression' cited as a mitigating factor for just about every single AIBU these days, completely irrespective of the nature of the AIBU. Why has that suddenly started happening?

Frankly it doesn't much matter whether you suffer from anxiety or not, if YABU then YABU.

(Ach posted to soon) Is what I always want to say to the how old do i look posts

Threads that ultimately read as "woman can never be wrong, man can never be right" really annoy me.

You said that so effectively and succinctly. Why couldn't I do that?

Anal sex

'My four year old doesn't like the expensive course of swimming lessons I've signed him up to. AIBU to make him go even though he screams and clings to me in terror?'

YANBU to make him go OP. Swimming is a life skill. I once fell over face down in a puddle and I was completely alone. If I hadn't have been able to get up and thank the Lord that no one had seen me make a prat of myself I could have drowned.'

OP: AIBU for thinking that my 5 year old should sweep the house before school? He only does laundry, the dishes and makes his bed.
MN: YABU
OP: you're all massive cunts who should fuck off and die. I'm going to burn your house down with your children inside while you're all asleep.
MN:
OP: sorry, my dad's girlfriend's cousin's step-grandfather's hairdresser's best friend died 3 years ago today and I'm sad about it.

I quite enjoy a good 'Aibu?' greeted by unanimous 'yes' and then pages of justification.

^I have three friends, let's call them A, B and C. Now C used to go to university with A and B was...

Zzzzzzz...^

"I was at a party with DH, DS1, DD2, DD3, DTS, DS, DFIL, DB, DB'S GF, DB'S MIL, DM, DA, and DNs. DB's GF said to DB's MIL that..."

Yes to both of those! Especially where one of the following happens:

• Poster wants to talk about both her son and her sister (or, even better, multiple sons and/or sisters) so DS is used millions of times and no one has a clue who threw the Christmas pudding in the bin, the 3yo or the 40yo.

Father, friend and fiancé give scope for even more confusion.

• The ones where the OP launches into the world's most complicated anecdote, gets lost in the middle and doesn't proofread, so it goes something like:

OP: So then B left her DD8 at home while she went to Maui and B found out and she text B and said she was calling social services on her...

Millions of posters: Sorry? Which one did what?

*

And then there's a poster who says 'This will out me but...' or even better 'NC'd for this because it will out me...' and her post is 'DD is 2 and she just had a tantrum in Sainsbury's!' With the best will in the world, however mortified you were when it happened, however much you feel you are the worst mother in the world and everyone else is talking of nothing else, it is not really all that remarkable and nobody will be able to identify you from something that happens to everybody at some point.

Sparkling I agree. As someone who doesn't drive, let alone own a car, (which I know means that I am not a real adult according to some) I just can't relate to the torrents of anguish unleashed because someone has dared to legally park somewhere and the OP can see said car from her kitchen.
I get irked by threads where the OP doesn't bother sticking around to argue their point and immediately flounces after a couple of posters politely disagreeing, usually muttering about how 'Us mums' should stick together.

OP: sorry, my dad's girlfriend's cousin's step-grandfather's hairdresser's best friend died 3 years ago today and I'm sad about it.

Or, "Sorry, I'm feeling a bit hormonal"