AIBU: The threads that annoy you most

[user1471517900]

Like those where the OP writes hardly anything and expects others to entertain them.

Now you go.

Well I'm still distraught about those carrots and my mil turned around and said something that I am not going to punctuate so you don't know what she said and then DH blanked me and I said you bastard then sil said her presents were bigger. The bitch.

I secretly enjoy the annoying ones of course, but here's my shit list.

1. I am so pissed off nobody can pronounces/spell DS name correctly, it's Peter, pronounced "Day - vid".

1. Why can't I have a garden where no roaming animals, including foxes and badgers are ever allowed to shite? I just know it is all down to one specific cat.........

1. My DD5 came home from school today and the teacher is making them all take off all their clothes and dance around the village naked tomorrow. I know she wouldn't lie about it, isn't this discusting? Shall I call the governors or OFSTED and report them?

Ahh, that feels better

Anything that has feminist in the title, anything about being outraged re getting a letter addressed to Mrs 'husbands' name and finally anything to do with blue/pink toys.

Excusing horrible behaviour described in OP.

"So, a man hawked on the pavement as you walked by and it went in your shoe? I get it's annoying but how do you know the poor man doesn't suffer from Spontaneous Expectoration Disorder? It affects at least 1 in 36000000 of the population."

I always find the 'what can I get my ten year old DS for Christmas?' threads odd.

I dunno, he's your kid. Presumably you know him better than I do.

I really really want to see someone incandescent and/or shaking with rage though. I've been parking across two bays in the P&C bays at tesco for months now and have yet to see it I might just start casually slipping into conversation that Santa clause doesn't exist when there are children present and see if that has the desired effect.

And grammer police.

'My DH has just confessed his undying love for our au pair, they've raided my life savings and have jetted off to Hawaii. AIBU to think he should of left enough to feed his kids?'

'It's would HAVE op'.

I am also tiring of reading 'oh and by the way, if it makes any difference I suffer from anxiety and depression'

I find myself agreeing wholeheartedly with you again Magic. I know how awful anxiety and depression are, but honestly - if it's so bad that you are unable to have even the most basic of conversation with someone, you need professional help, not MN.

Bit - will you fuck off to that spa now and stop whingeing about your non-Christmas veggies and your MIL and SIL aka The Bitches. There are children dying in Syria FFS - first world problems or what?? You should be think yourself lucky they brought (note: not bought, because that's just being pedantic and smug) you anything at all.

Ones where Scottish or Irish posters are accused of being trolls because they mention school holidays that don't tie in with Mumsnet Approved school holiday dates, therefore they must be liars.

"So, a man hawked on the pavement as you walked by and it went in your shoe? I get it's annoying but how do you know the poor man doesn't suffer from Spontaneous Expectoration Disorder? It affects at least 1 in 36000000 of the population."

I'm literally wetting myself all over my keyboard!

When someone posts about something, e.g. Pooing workmen, and the responses are "This again, there was a post about this yesterday OP!!!" - as if the OP reads every single thread and as if they can't post their own experience anyway.

When someone posts for example about a film they like, and 10 posters pile in to tell them it's a shit film as if some random on the internet will change their mind. Happened to a thread about Titanic yesterday with people saying it's AWFUL and they should watch a documentary about it instead

RVP I agree about the letters and people going on about changing their name when they get married - who cares ? In fact I've never been addressed as Mrs, everyone calls me by my first name.
Also - my DS has a lovely princess dress
Aww how sweet
My DD has a lovely princess dress
You are destroying your child - how can you do this- vile bitch

1. I am so pissed off nobody can pronounces/spell DS name correctly, it's Peter, pronounced "Day - vid".

Richard I think you're supposed to spit your tea all over your laptop

The tea isn't ready yet, I'm still boiling my piss!

Never mind boiling piss, my teeth are itching.

you cant talk to me like that my friends gerbil died a week last tuesday and I am suffering from inability to punctuate syndrome I can only punctuate at the end of sentences and then I go?????!!!!!!?????

Threads where most posters say 'YABU' and the OP comes back to say, 'Okay, I accept I'm being a bit U. MIL is really hard work, but I accept I need to work harder to get on with her'' or whatever.

And then there are pages and pages of more and more posters piling in, accusing the OP of being 'grabby', 'entitled' and 'selfish', peppered with 'you sound deranged', with only about one poster in 20 being reasonable and empathetic.

AIBU is a bloody scary place.

Christmas is cancelled this year!!

My mum died last week and my husband left me yesterday. My child is in hospital at the moment. AIBU to be really upset at the minute

Yes yabu!! Look at everyone in Aleppo at the moment. I bet they only wished they were so lucky.

Ok so I exaggerated the OP there but every single thread with some problem gets diverted back to Aleppo some way.

No one can be upset or petty about their own lives because someone is a lot worse off

Oh hun - RIP your friends gerbil!!!! A day at a spa with a cheeky glass of prosecco is just what you 2 need!!!!! x

SirChenjin I see it, I know it's tongue in cheek but those !!!!!!!! and ?????? still make me want to hurt people.

Off to the spa or in my case Spar.

Lumela you see a similar sort of thing where the OP uses a term which used to be acceptable but, due to language evolving, is now considered inappropriate or offensive (and I'm not talking about words which nobody could legitimately claim to know are offensive), this is pointed out, the OP apologises profusely for any offence caused and you then get 36 pages of 'You do know that 'xy' is EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE??!!!!

Also, Why Do People Capitalise The First Letter Of The Every Single Word In Titles? Surely It's To Much Fucking Effort. And It Makes Me Read It In A Robot Voice. In My Head, Obviously.

Just reminded of another one: any thread about how bad sweeteners are because... well, because they must be, or because the OP read about it on some pseudo-science website.

It's like the ouija board thing. MNers as a whole are usually educated and sensible, but there are some topics where the majority lose all critical thinking ability.

I'm with you Bit. RIP!!! is my extra large bugbear.

Mine's a Turkish Delight thanks.

I haven't rtft and I am sure it's already been done, but when OP's start with:

Nc'd for this but been here a long time, penis beaker, cancel the cheque, Maui etc.

I mean why? Does it make them more worthy of responses because they have been on mumsnet for a while.

The people who 'can't understand' why everyone doesn't do / like / buy things exactly the same as they do. Like it's the law that you have to wear a mooncup while rinsing reusable nappies in prosecco stuffed in your £800 Mulberry handbag. Or something.