To actually be crying because Carrie Fisher passed away?

[OfaFrenchmind2]

And not really be ashamed of it? I grew up on Princess Leia busting every body's balls and I really loved Carrie herself, and her being so candid and actually funny and clever.

One thing to consider, not using this to make any case either way, is that if the news had not informed you of celebrity deaths, you would likely never have known. Their work may play a role in your life, but whether they are alive or not has so little impact on your life that without being told you literally would not even notice.

But I can't weep over the death of someone I'd never actually met hmm

God I can. I can weep over fictional characters, in books and films, over news stories, over celebs. It's an empathetic response. I just sobbed over a tweet about RIchard Adams - someone tweeted the passage where Hazel dies. So moving.

Yanbu OP, she was a wonderful woman.

I cried when Ruby Gillis died in Anne of the Island, and that was a fictional character.

David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Louise Rennison, The Bear, and now Carrie Fisher have all made me cry, as did the deaths of Terry Pratchett and Deric Longden in past years. Some of the humans on the list were still quite young, but The Bear was 100 in cat years.

My nan died two years ago and I didn't cry very much then, but will cry over the deaths of people I've never met. I also cry over the state of the world because it is awful and people are dying in horrific circumstances every single day, but I can't fix that, so I have a little cry and move on.

"Open your eyes and ears people. Save your tears for real heros of the world"
A woman who can and will stand up to the world and basically say 'I'm mentally ill, and old and fat - and you all want to be me' is exactly the sort of hero I think is worth mourning.

Personally I've never been sufficiently affected by the death of a celebrity or anyone else I didn't know to warrant crying over them. Although I don't really understand it Id never say someone else was wrong or unreasonable to cry. I saved my tears for my dad, my grans, my aunt. People who.died who I loved and cared about.

I did however think.the photo of the woman 'hugging' and crying over the Range Rover parked outside GMs house just a bit much.

I need to rephrase my comment - not "worth mourning", because no one person is more or less worthy than another. Except I can't think of a more fitting word.

I have been reading the thread and think perhaps I have been unfair. To me it seems faintly distasteful because I am struggling with the first Christmas of my life without my mum. So the depth of my personal loss is colouring my reaction. But then I read the post about Ruby Gillis and remember sobbing when Anne's baby died in House of Dreams. So OP I apologise for saying YABU earlier, of course you are not.

caitlinohara
Dh says the Queen should do the decent thing given the year we've had! - well this is one of the most cuntish things I've heard said in a while - I hope he's proud of his 'wit'.

I have been saddened by CF's death, yes, but not moved to tears. George Michael has, on the other hand, properly floored me. I've gone through personal loss and grief many times over in the last three years. Didn't stop me breaking my heart over GM.

One of my best friend's, whose sister took her own life about a year ago, said that it was another connection to her beloved DSis which had gone. Not only that, but she adored him too, as a person and an artist.

Another friend summed it up well on Facebook; she wrote:

^Beautiful words.
I doubt you'll be mocked by art loving people. It's a tragedy when the world loses the contribution from an artist. The creativity of strangers can touch us in such deeply personal ways. I've stood in front of a Whitely and felt like he painted it just for me. No wonder we hear music that speaks to us.
I love how artist reflect the human condition. George Michael did that. This year I've consoled friends grieving at the death of Bowie, Prince, Lee - all celebrities they've never met. But the art an artist produces? That's personal. We're entitled to grieve for these strangers because the creativity made us virtual companions on this piece of rock orbiting the sun.^

As for those of you who wish to put people down for having human emotions, take a good look at yourself.

I'm not crying, but I do understand it. I cried when Freddie Mercury and Brian Redhead (Today programme, R4) died.

I just sobbed over a tweet about RIchard Adams - someone tweeted the passage where Hazel dies. So moving

I so agree with you, TheWoodlander. The passage describing Hazel's death is incredibly moving, absolutely beautiful prose. I too was very sad about RA's death even though at 90-something he had a great innings!

Ynbu my dd19 spent half the day inconsolable because she passed away. For her, who has grown up surrounded by film and music (her dad has a masters in screen and media), she's had an horrific year. Lost lots of 'loves'. George Michael, George Martin, Bowie, Carrie, Alan ruckman etc etc. it's normal to feel loss when you have leg someone into your life, into your soul.

Let not leg.

Dh says the Queen should do the decent thing given the year we've had!

Don't know if you thought we'd all find his comment amusing but what a horrible thing to say. He sounds a charmer. If my partner came out with such an ignorant comment I certainly wouldn't be telling anyone what he said.

I'm not putting anyone down, each to their own etc, I just said it isn't me to cry over someone who I've never met, and that I didn't understand it, but that doesn't mean I am a robotic creature who can't be moved with emotion, so it's wrong to say that I need to look to myself.

Everyone copes with lifes knocks in different ways, grief affects us all in some way or other but the word 'grieving' to me is for family and friends close to me who sadly leave this world. Maybe it's a safety valve, i.e. there is a lot I could cry about but I'd rather just feel a bit sad as opposed to sobbing, because famous people are taken from the world too early all the time and I would be an emotional mess if I broke down over the stream of deaths this year, plus the awful scenes of war torn countries.

We're all different and just because those who don't cry are posting on here, it doesn't mean we are heartless cold creatures, we're not. We just don't do it that way.

And this is in AIBU after all and the q. was AIBU to be crying because CF has passed away. We're just answering that surely.

JessCress

I would like you to see possible reasons for peoples behaviour regarding emotional outbursts.

But your lack of empathy is getting in the way.

Have you thought about getting therapy?

"And this is in AIBU after all and the q. was AIBU to be crying because CF has passed away. We're just answering that surely."
The question actually wasn't "AIBU to cry?" it was "AIBU not to be ashamed of crying?"
Your answer might not change, or it might, but I personally think it's a very different question.

I've just answered the question without shaming anyone. As I said before... each to their own, but it isn't my way. No one should take me saying 'it isn't my way' as an implied criticism, or if they do, that's their problem because all some of us have done on here is answered the q. No grips being handed out from me!

Both George Michael and Carrie Fisher had well documented drug and/or alcohol issues (and prince)

Isn't what we should be doing making sure that children understand why they all died young? If their deaths can prevent even 1 life being lost then that must be a good thing.

saphire I did not know that TheBear had died - though it was clearly coming. I am saddened to hear that. And yes indeed those who are apparently strangers to empathy it is possible to feel sadness about the death of a strangers pet.

I've felt really sad, particularly about the George Michael - although I'm not someone that will cry easily

I'm getting a bit irritated with all the 2016 nonsense though, when what is really to blame is smoking, even more so than long term drug and alcohol use.

Boney should a thread appear in, for example, the Relationships board titled 'Just lost my mother, my OH left me, the Christmas tree flattened my DC and I'm upset about Carrie & George dying' - I wouldn't feel the need to tell the OP it is an overreaction to be upset about Carrie & George.

Do stop being so odd and inventing scenarios to try and help prove your tenuous argument.

Also, try and see the irony in attempting to appear ever so sensitive and empathetic whilst telling some they should go get therapy for possessing a different opinion to yours

I doubt there's many people commenting here who have never shed a tear over someone in a book or film dying. And that's not only someone you don't know, but someone who doesn't even exist.

I welled up when Robin Williams died. It was extremely sad for me to think of someone who brought so much joy and happiness to other people dying in that way. And you know what, people with such an infectious personality do have a knack of making you feel that you know them.

And then a few weeks ago there was a tribute to AA Gill on the radio while I was driving and it brought tears to my eyes. It was beautiful, I always loved his writing and it made me think of someone very dear to me who had passed away a year before.

I rather think that it's strange to not empathise, and to sit casting weird aspersions about the personalities of people who do feel sadness when something sad happens.

But in a book or film you get to really know the characters so, if you're completely embroiled in the story then yes, it is possible to feel upset when they die.

I feel sad when a celebrity I like dies - especially if they have been linked to my life in some way.

But people don't know anything about 'celebrities' other than the public persona they put forward so to cry over the death of a celebrity seems mawkish to me. Especially when it's accompanied by 'look at me' announcements of how 'devastated' people are and how much they are crying...

All of us have "public personas".

Most celebrities that touch us have had public struggles that most people have at least been aware of, and some may have followed closely.
I doubt many will feel particularly sad when an aloof, or diva-like personality dies (e.g. Simon Cowell). That was not exactly the case for George Michael or Carrie Fisher. They were likeable and felt very human in their personal struggles, as well as generosity.
Not unlike characters that we follow in a book or film or tv.

I cried too OP_. She was a big part of my childhood.

the ones on here slating emotional people are made of stone.

so many people know Diana personally yet look at the outpouring when she died .

and John Lennon. And Michael Jackson. and others.

And all those refugees who have died/drowned.

TBH GM didn't affect me at all, I was never a fan, but CF, especially after having a Star wars marathon the other day, yes I had a good sob, andf Im not ashamed of it..