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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To actually be crying because Carrie Fisher passed away?

203 replies

OfaFrenchmind2 · 27/12/2016 18:33

And not really be ashamed of it? I grew up on Princess Leia busting every body's balls and I really loved Carrie herself, and her being so candid and actually funny and clever.

OP posts:
MissWillaCather · 27/12/2016 19:32

YABU.

Overeaction for unrelated sleb.

But I'm a bit sick of all this outpouring of grief for famous people.

Lot of bad things and dead people happening in Syria, Yemen, all over.

So, I'm sorry you're sad, but YABU.

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 27/12/2016 19:32

Some people will care and some people will not. Of those who care, some will cry and some will not. Sometimes the tears are for the person who has died and sometimes it is more connected with a personal loss or general unhappiness. I don't judge any of this. We feel what we feel and nobody should be shamed because of it.

I liked Carrie Fisher so I'm sorry to hear of her death. This year has been relentlessly crap and there have been so many deaths (both people I knew and loved and famous people I just admired). I think perhaps some people just feel buried by bad news and hopelessness and I can't say I blame them.

haveacupoftea · 27/12/2016 19:34

I think the grief bandwagon jumpers on social media have reduced a lot of people's tolerance for mourning public figures. Most of us have a few friends who race to post the news when someone has died with 'OMG so devastated, do one 2016' etc just for likes.

However, you feel how you feel, so go with it and who cares what other people think.

OneWithTheForce · 27/12/2016 19:34

Lot of bad things and dead people happening in Syria, Yemen, all over.

If it helps I've cried several times over Syria and Yemen and plenty of others. Is that ridiculous because I've never met them either? Hmm

BoneyBackJefferson · 27/12/2016 19:35

caitlinohara
Dh says the Queen should do the decent thing given the year we've had!

You can tell him that he is the second dickhead to say that today.

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 27/12/2016 19:37

This grief police crap is far more annoying than people crying over celebs they didn't know. Who do you think you are?

BoneyBackJefferson · 27/12/2016 19:37

MissWillaCather

Lot of bad things and dead people happening in Syria, Yemen, all over.

Did you say the same thing to people that have cried about that, or the young child on the beach?

After all we don't know them, or are people only allowed to cry at things approved by MissWillaCather

MissWillaCather · 27/12/2016 19:38

Never said ridiculous.

Each to their own, but op asked if unreasonable, and I've given my view.

Feeling it doesn't make it reasonable.

I think I dislike the way sleb deaths trump ordinary people with the bandwagon of social media.

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 27/12/2016 19:39

I don't know any ordinary people who died recently willa. That OK with you?

MissWillaCather · 27/12/2016 19:40

If you don't want "grief police" don't ask if YABU!

UnicornInDMboots · 27/12/2016 19:40

Tbh I don't see why you need to ask anyone if it's ok to cry about anything ? Of course it is. Is how you feel and how you express how you feel. No I haven't cried over any celebs dying. I'm sad sure but not cried. I have cried over Syria and i have also cried over every single episode of don't tell the bride. That's me that's my emotions and they're no more or less valid than anyone elses. They're not stupid they're nothing to be ashamed of. So don't worry what anyone else thinks least of all a bunch of strangers online say , some of whom are telling you you're unreasonable

NavyandWhite · 27/12/2016 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 27/12/2016 19:41

Well she's not asking is its ok really is she? It's just to start conversation

specialsubject · 27/12/2016 19:42

It is a measure of the dullness of today's new celebrities that we are all invested in those whose fame began decades ago. And this means they are reaching the ages when their time is up.

Or their lifestyles may possibly have caught up with them.

I have been very upset at the deaths this year of some very old people - to whom I was related. Not about those who I never met and never knew.

90 Russians died horribly on Christmas Day. Not seeing that on social media, yet for their families and friends it will be just as devastating.

it's a mad world.

oklumberjack · 27/12/2016 19:42

I've felt unbelievably sad at a lot of recent deaths, including George Micheal, but Carrie Fisher has really choked me up.

No I didn't 'know' her. However, as a young child in the 70's I queued up in line as the Star Wars queue snaked around the block. I was blown away by her. The first time I'd ever seen a strong, female character in a film who was witty and intelligent.

She was an amazing writer, an advocate on openly discussing mental health. She was fat shamed constantly and dealt with it fantastically.

She said "yes, my body hasn't aged as well as I have"
and best quote ever -

"Youth and Beauty are not accomplishments. They're the temporary by-products of time and/or DNA. Don't hold your breath for either"

She was cultural icon. If you don't get that then I think you must walk around in a bubble.

Original poster
OfaFrenchmind2 · 27/12/2016 19:42

Some people I care about, some I do not. A tiny fraction of the people I care about are celebs, and Carrie Fisher/ Princess Leia was part of my childhood, as I grew up in a very geeky family. I guess I am sad because part of this very happy childhood is gone. And CF was a kickass lady that was far more interesting that the average person, and that is gone quite young. I am sad for the waste, and for the sassy heroine that actually picked up guns and led an army. At the time, Disney princesses were nice but very passive. Leia/ Fisher was an inspiration.

OP posts:
MissWillaCather · 27/12/2016 19:43

wolver there are quite a few if you look at non celeb news, aforementioned Syria or Yemen to start with.

RacoonBandit · 27/12/2016 19:44

Overreaction for unrelated sleb

I would never tell another person who they should or should not grieve for. I would not dare be that crass or classless.

When people in the public eye die I feel sad and sometimes I cry because it is a reminder of those who were close to me that I have lost.

YANBU at all Ofa

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 27/12/2016 19:45

Yes but as I say willa, I don't know anything about them. When you grow up with famous people on
Your TV and radio you have a link and familiarity with them. I don't know anything about other people who died this year so why would
I respond with equal emotion?

Do you realise how odd what you're saying is?

UnicornInDMboots · 27/12/2016 19:45

OP was asking if she was BU.

No one should ever think they're BU for crying ! It's a normal human emotion and it's not not anyone else to say it's not ok!

BoneyBackJefferson · 27/12/2016 19:45

MissWillaCather

There have been many celebrity deaths this year, some have effected me others haven't.

The issue that I have with those saying YABU is that you are lumping everyone together. This is not a mass hysterical outpouring like diana, it is smaller groups of fans that will move on but feel the need to reach out to others that feel the same way.

Lets face it, if people didn't want to do that MN and many other forums would not exist.

littleshirleybeans · 27/12/2016 19:46

I cried too, with ds2.

MissWillaCather · 27/12/2016 19:47

The op did ask.

Is this AIBU or yes, of course you're right...??

Must've got it all wrong.

ihatetosay · 27/12/2016 19:48

YABU for goodness sake

klassykringle · 27/12/2016 19:48

If you're grieving, you're grieving. No one else ever has the right to tell you your feelings are wrong or belittle you for them.

Personally I'm not that upset but I am surprised and saddened; she was still young and such a feminist icon.