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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you don't give this as a present?

124 replies

user1482802649 · 27/12/2016 01:47

I'm honestly not being ungrateful, I really appreciate the thought, but I'm just a bit confused.

Baby boy is 2 weeks old and one of my work colleagues (so it was nice of her to even do this tbh) got him a gift. It was an IKEA type tub with reusable nappies, I was thankful and then she went on to explain how they were her son's. I'm not asking out if nastiest I just don't know if you really gift reusable nappies that have been used by your child, to a friend's child?

Thank you.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 27/12/2016 01:49

I would give such a gift, or use it!

LavateLasManos · 27/12/2016 01:51

I can sort of see where you're coming from, I wouldn't have wanted them for PFB but they're more than likely washed and sterilised so really a useful present.
Having said that though, for me personally I wouldn't see it as a gift, I'd give you them anyway and buy a little something like a new outfit.

haveacupoftea · 27/12/2016 01:55

Yeah, people buy second hand ones so its a decent gift.

HarrietSchulenberg · 27/12/2016 01:56

Seeing as reusables sell for very good money on Ebay, I think she's been kind and generous.
But I also get where you're coming from.

MistressMolecules · 27/12/2016 01:57

All bar four of our reusable nappies are second hand. Absolutely no problems, if you were planning on using cloth nappies then this is a very thoughtful gift (and will save you a fair bit of money). Congratulations on your new baby Flowers

Original poster
user1482802649 · 27/12/2016 01:58

I wasn't even planning on using reusable, but will probably read up on them now :)

Yeah, was definitely nice of her!

OP posts:
dylsmimi · 27/12/2016 02:04

She may have explained they were her sons because reusable nappies can be very expensive so a tub full is more than a colleague to colleague gift.
They also need to be washed before use so lots of people like to buy second hand as they have been 'worn in' I think
It is a lovely but slightly strange if you hsve never mentioned using reusables! At least if you don't use them they have a good second hand price
Congratulations on your baby Flowers

Mius · 27/12/2016 02:05

Really depends on how close you are to this person to you. If it's just my colleague I would feel like totally inappropriate. But if it's my good friend I don't mind but normally my friends would ask me first especially reusable napppies aren't everyone's thing.

38cody · 27/12/2016 02:07

I think it's nice of her to pass them on but weird to give them as a "gift"

SouthWindsWesterly · 27/12/2016 02:08

YAB a bit U as you probably don't realise the true value of the gift. It's a thoughtful and rather expensive gift as the resale value on reusable nappies is good so as PP's have said, she must think highly of you as that's more than a colleague to colleague gift. Plus they're not like the terry nappies in the 1970's - modern washable nappies are fantastic. Try them out - you might prefer them or not. And congratulations on your new baby boy Grin

queenbeeee · 27/12/2016 02:09

It was very nice of her. I don't doubt that. But really reusable nappys. I would no way use them on my baby. How many of you guys would wear someone elses underwear. That is the same thing to me. I'd throw them out tbf. It's totally disgusting. That's a personal thing!

HarrietSchulenberg · 27/12/2016 02:13

My children all wore reusables, most secondhand. Bearing in mind they've been boil washed between each and every wear, there's nothing disgusting or unhygenic about them.

pregnantat50 · 27/12/2016 02:19

i suppose its similar to borrowing a pair of washed knickers from a mate, no harm in that is there?

user1477282676 · 27/12/2016 02:37

It's nice of her but also presumptious. I personally would use them but lots of people would be a bit "yuk" about the idea....and I know that....we're all different and it would have been more "usual" for her to ask if you'd like them...or would you be interested in them.

mummyplus7 · 27/12/2016 02:48

I've bought and sold preloved MCNS before. It was a lovely gift, though out of the blue if you've never mentioned wanting to use cloth nappies to her before.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 27/12/2016 03:08

I think it's nice of her to pass them on but weird to give them as a "gift"

I think it is odd and presumptious unless you had been discussing considering using reusable nappies.

i suppose its similar to borrowing a pair of washed knickers from a mate, no harm in that is there?

I suppose it is similar but other than a dire emergency I wouldn't want to do it. If a friend suddenly dropped from a size 14 to a size 8 I wouldn't want her then redundant size 14 knickers passed on to me no matter how clean they were.


blankmind · 27/12/2016 03:19

If you would rather use disposables, (or you could invent a large supply of brand new ones your parents have gifted you so hers would be overkill) tell her and return her gift, either she can find someone else who will be happy to receive them, or she can ebay them.

I think she'd be very hurt if you accepted them and then ebayed them.

sashh · 27/12/2016 04:02

I would no way use them on my baby. How many of you guys would wear someone elses underwear. That is the same thing to me.

t's quite a bit different. They will have been boil washed. They may also be used with a liner.

If your child has an accident at nursery and come home in borrowed clothes do you think they are new?

NinkyNonky · 27/12/2016 04:55

I don't think you can compare reusing washable nappies, which are very expensive, to borrowing knickers, which are very cheap.

Children tend to be less hung up on these things anyway, a small child wouldn't give a monkeys about borrowing a friends pair of knickers if they had an accident.

It's a generous, if slightly bizarre gift op!

Clearoutre · 27/12/2016 05:04

My mum DELIGHTED in telling me that the 'flannels' I liked to use when visiting were actually terry nappy liners used by me and my siblings when we were little. She has a few, all still perfectly white and perfect texture for gentle exfoliation! I went out and bought some of my own (for facial use!)

sycamore54321 · 27/12/2016 05:07

It is bizarre. It is imposing her judgement that reusable nappies are the best, on you. Why is she seeking to have you mirror her choices back to her?

And I agree with those who think the second hand aspect is ick in this situation. If someone chooses to use secondhand nappies, good for them, their choice and that is absolutely fine. To hand someone, umprompted, a huge parcel of cloth that had been absorbing human waste, however washed and clean, means the recipient is perfectly within her rights to feel negatively about it.

treaclesoda · 27/12/2016 05:16

Second hand washable nappies are perfectly 'normal'. I don't know if this still happens but when DD was a baby, there were companies who offered an entire nappy service - you hired the nappies from them and then they did a laundry service each week and provided you with clean ones. The only reason we as adults don't like sharing knickers etc is psychological, we don't like the thought of wearing someone else's underwear. It's not that we'd actually come to any harm from doing it. Babies don't care.

treaclesoda · 27/12/2016 05:20

Why would you see it as 'imposing her judgement' ? Why would you not just see it as her offering the OP the opportunity to try something to see if she likes it?

user1477282676 · 27/12/2016 05:31

Treacle I think it's the assumption that everyone's ok with second hand underwear. Some people aren't even ok with second hand OUTER wear...so it was slightly presumptious.

Fartleks · 27/12/2016 05:39

I'd have no problem with this. They are bloody expensive!!

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