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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think you don't give this as a present?

124 replies

user1482802649 · 27/12/2016 01:47

I'm honestly not being ungrateful, I really appreciate the thought, but I'm just a bit confused.

Baby boy is 2 weeks old and one of my work colleagues (so it was nice of her to even do this tbh) got him a gift. It was an IKEA type tub with reusable nappies, I was thankful and then she went on to explain how they were her son's. I'm not asking out if nastiest I just don't know if you really gift reusable nappies that have been used by your child, to a friend's child?

Thank you.

OP posts:
TweedleDee3TweedleDum · 28/12/2016 19:31

I guess to some it is this same as gifting second hand clothing.

In my experience in with my DS, what is meant for the nappy, isn't always contained in the nappy.

WeAllHaveWings · 28/12/2016 19:32

Was it a gift as in wrapped in Xmas paper, or a gift as in here are some of my old baby things you might be able to use?

First one slightly strange to gift-wrap for Xmas, second one ok. Although if you don't plan to use them you should offer them back.

JoeMaplin · 28/12/2016 19:45

Second hand reusable nappies are perfectly normal. I sold some of mine (which were also bought second hand) for £6 each!!! So a very generous gift too, but I do think slightly odd unless you discussed it. Eg I'd discussed trying reusable with a neighbour so she kindly lent me her first size ones to try before I bought any of my own. I wouldn't have passed mine on as a gift if I didn't know if the person wanted them as it would be a waste if they weren't used.

MistressMolecules · 28/12/2016 20:17

@ClarissaDarling** Different nappies seem to work for some babies and others not so much. I have found Little Bloom (eBay and amazon) at really good for us and not as expensive as some of the more well known brands (mio bambino - which I found good, and totsbots for example). Check out FB as there are many cloth nappy groups where you can buy single nappies (preloved) in different brands to find ones that work and then you can resell on ones that don't work. Cloth bum Mums is one I can think of off the top of my head.

Grilledaubergines · 28/12/2016 20:21

Odd as a gift but fine if they were an extra "have these, we're finished with them".

Though sounds like she was. Ring a cloth pusher to me.

Grilledaubergines · 28/12/2016 20:22

Was. Ring = was being

JellyWitch · 28/12/2016 20:33

Its rubbish about the earlier toilet training btw. Some kids do and some don't (I have one in pants by 2 1/4 and the other barely by 5!). Not through any different nappying or parenting!

bonbonours · 28/12/2016 20:40

There is absolutely no problem with second hand reusable nappies, there is a huge market for them. However, unless you had already had a conversation talking about how you would love to use or try reusable nappies then it's a bit of a weird gift, and could be taken as being preachy, ie "You're not planning on using those awful disposables are you?" I say this from the point of view of someone who used reusable nappies but was always aware of trying not coming across as some kind of evangelical nappy freak trying to make everyone who used disposables feel guilty. Having said that, if you have been given some I would give them a try as loads of people, like myself LOVE them.

SquinkiesRule · 28/12/2016 21:06

I had some second hand reusables for my three babies, some were new others not and I sold them on when we were finished with them.
I think that was a very generous gift, she may well have bought them all new and spend a few hundred pounds on them depending on the brand.
I'd throw them all through the wash on hot, extra rinse, make sure theres no detergent residue in them, dry them and use them.

caringcarer · 28/12/2016 21:23

My DD chose to use these for her firstborn child. She thinks they ate better for environment and cheaper. I offered to supply all of DGC disposable nappies but she said no. I thought they would be dreadful but actually they are ok. He has not had nappy rash which was my main worry. Now he is a bit older she uses disposable ones overnight. Wash before you use them and give them a go.

leavim · 28/12/2016 21:39

YANBU at all !! That's like giving second hand reusable sanitary towels ......definitely not something I would do !

apringle · 28/12/2016 21:50

That's just so terribly gross! I wouldn't let my newborns sleep on second hand mattresses let alone wrap them in something someone else has s#*t all over! Dispose!

OneWithTheForce · 28/12/2016 22:00

Well no, because mattresses are entirely different. Obviously.

FrizzyMcFrizzface · 28/12/2016 22:08

I think it's weird, I'm sure she meant it kindly but to the PPs who talked about boil washes, how do you know they have? I used reusables for about three weeks and then got rid as they were useless!

Instructions were to wash at 60, never boil wash, no soaking in nappy sanitiser, just chuck 'em in - and because you had to use hardly any detergent (to keep absorbency) I never felt they were properly clean. They were horrendous, leaked all the time and when I contacted the company they said to use both the newborn and toddler liner together. This pushed DSs legs so far apart that I was worried about his hips and I couldn't get any of his clothes on. So I bought Pampers and immediately my life was unbelievably easier Grin

I felt sorry for my Mum and Dad who paid for them and who didn't get their money back after they complained and complained Angry

funkky · 28/12/2016 22:10

I would never give or accept second hand stuff from anyone unless we had a discussion and it was offered and I accepted.
I had my cleaner bring her daughters used clothes for me and I had to tell her politely I didn't want them. I think it's rude and presumptuous to assume anyone wants to wear stuff that has already been used without checking with them first.

OneWithTheForce · 28/12/2016 22:14

the PPs who talked about boil washes, how do you know they have?

Well you don't but there is nothing stopping you doing one!

TinselTwins · 28/12/2016 22:19

It's nothing like a mattress, you can't hot wash a mattress.

I think it's rude and presumptuous to assume anyone wants to wear stuff that has already been used without checking with them first.
I think that's a terribly sad/depressing attitude and am thoroughly worried for the world/environment if there are people who think recycling/reusing is "rude"

funkky · 28/12/2016 22:25

You need to check with people before giving them stuff that has already been worn/ used. Not everyone is comfortable with it and you need to respect that.

funkky · 28/12/2016 22:27

Why just babies then? You might as well take your clothes to your friends as a gift in the spirit of recycling them

TinselTwins · 28/12/2016 22:28

You need to check with people before giving them stuff that has already been worn/ used. Not everyone is comfortable with it and you need to respect that

Not everyone likes every gift they're given, that doesn't mean you have to check every gift with people before hand.

I'ld like to think that in this day and age most people are on board with re-using/recycling, and those that aren't should be ashamed of themselves. That doesn't mean they have to use pre-worn gifts that aren't to their taste, but it is weird and hopefully becoming outdated to be "uncomfortable" with being given it in the first place!

If you don't like the gift just pass it on like you would with any other gift that's not to your taste, but there was nothing wrong with the giving of it.

TinselTwins · 28/12/2016 22:29

Why just babies then? You might as well take your clothes to your friends as a gift in the spirit of recycling them

I got DH a nice shirt from a charity shop for christmas.

MsMarple · 28/12/2016 22:30

I gave our old wraps and shaped nappies away - although I did ask if they'd be welcome first. Kept the terries for cleaning though.

I'd have thought if you were toying with the idea of using cloth it would be much better to try some second hand ones first to see how you got on before you shelled out for a new set.

JackLottiesMum · 28/12/2016 22:33

As you mentioned you weren't expecting a gift from her. She probably thought you might like them - if you don't - sell them or give them away. I have in the past given a friend with a new baby a bought shop gift plus also passed on at the same time something my children didn't need anymore that I thought my friend might like. I spent the same money on the gift I bought that I would have if I'd given this extra thing or not. The extra thing was more of a bonus than the actual gift and my friend really appreciate it as it saved her buying one.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 28/12/2016 22:36

It depends on whether she was pushing them with an agenda.

They're flipping expensive, so it's a fairly "valuable" gift; no issue in them being second hand, I have a few that are as well, and they're fine to use. In fact, most of the nappy wraps that went around my DSs' cloth nappies were secondhand, as well as some of the nappies themselves.

I'd be grateful if someone gave me that present, but then I did use cloth nappies. I'd be a bit more Hmm if I had no intention of using them, I suppose.

Giselaw · 28/12/2016 22:36

"most people are on board with re-using/recycling, and those that aren't should be ashamed of themselves"

You must have really thought highly of the MIL to regifted her nasty used pony boots to an OP for Christmas.

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