To have my mother delving in my wardrobe?

[Mindtrope]

Coming into my room and fishing OHs shirts out to iron. Would you find this intrusive?

Yes.
Do you live in her house?
If so, move out.

Yes I'd hate it!

Yes most definitely, I would be very cross

I cannot for the life of me figure how someone could think it appropriate to go into someones wardrobe...unless they had been asked

She sounds amazing.

If you don't want her, she's welcome to come over to iron my shit any time.

She sounds amazing.

If you don't want her, she's welcome to come over to iron my shit any time.

*he sounds amazing. fenvy

If you don't want her, she's welcome to come over to iron my shit any time.*
Really?

I don't iron. She feels I don't support my OH enough because I "send him to work" in unironed shirts.
She has thrown a hissy fit because I have asked her not to intrude in our bedroom

I don't iron. She feels I don't support my OH enough because I "send him to work" in unironed shirts.

Ahahaha hahaaahahhahaaaaaa. Good one mother

YANBU - she's being incredibly intrusive, rude, judgemental, sexist and domineering.

daisy thanks.
I explained my view and she had a tearful breakdown.

She said she was helping me.

Her house or yours? Not that it makes a difference, she should not be going into your room regardless of whose house it is and I would also be having words, or more likely be leaving the shirts in a pile for her!

Well done for putting your foot down, it took me years to get my mother to stop tidying my underwear drawer when she came to visit!

I don't iron. She feels I don't support my OH enough because I "send him to work" in unironed shirts.

She's definitely being PA then.

I could easily put up with PA so long as she bothered to iron my stuff at the same time. (I jest!!)

Has she promised not to do it again?

She has stopped going into our room, but still sneaks OHs shirts off the drying rack to iron.

Yanbu. You don't go into someones wardrobe without asking.

My husband irons his own shirts and my kids school shirts and my Mum often throws coments my way. I do other jobs like the dishwasher whilst he does them but you would think he was being sent down the mine while I sit about drinking gin.

but still sneaks OHs shirts off the drying rack to iron.

For some reason this reminded me of Mrs Doyle from Father Ted with her anti-feminist agenda

It is never reasonable for an adult to enter smith adults bedroom without permission.

If your FH chooses not to iron his shirts that's on him, not you.

Your Mother is not helping you by judging you by archaic standards.

And the tears are emotional blackmail.

How is she helping you by ironing someone else's shirt? That's what I'd start with.

YANBU.

My mother does things to "help" me, which, like you, are not things I do. So it's not helping.

Not entirely sure how I'd feel about this, but I know for a fact DH would find this horribly intrusive and would get very upset with my mum if she did this.

He gets tetchy enough about things like her vacuuming the living room, the fall out if she ventured into private spaces would be massive and completely negate the helpfulness of any ironing or suchlike.

I had this with my DM. I didn't mind her doing it BUT going into our room to get the ironing basket crossed the line. I just told her not to go in our room and after being a complete victim for a while (I was only helping...sob...sob...you're so mean...blah blah) ...she got over it.

I never minded my parents doing stuff but what I did mind was being reminded by DM constantly that they had done it and having to be so grateful and tell DM how wonderful she is that they have done it.

For example.... Dad cut the grass. I thanked them for doing it and said how grateful I was. 5 times that afternoon mum mentioned the bloody grass again....and so 5 more times I thanked them, said how grateful I was and also agreed that it did indeed look amazing.

The next day mum phoned to tell me that they are rather upset as DH didn't phone them to thank them...

We now have fake grass

Ha ha - fake grass.

DM will also take dirty items out of the dishwasher to wash them and "help me" No mother, I wait till it's full, chuck in and and press a button. So christmas day she pulled half of the stacked stuff in the dishwasher and piled it up in the sink where she stood washing up for half an hour.
I did suggest she was wasting her time, but became upset as she was "only trying to help".

I don't like being cast in the role of a baddie.