Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have sent ds to grandparents for hour yesterday

79 replies

Theyhaveallbeenused2 · 26/12/2016 09:33

A bit of context ds aged 1 I am separated with his father who unfortunately had to work over seas this Christmas.I work in retail so worked most of last week. Ex mil helps with childcare and had ds Friday and Saturday all day. She asked to get ds an hour Christmas day so he could open present.I suggested she opened presents on Christmas Eve as he was there all day. I hardly seen him all week so was looking good forward to spending the majority of Christmas just us two. Now the passive aggressive comments have appeared on Facebook overnight and I feel like the grinch...wibu not sending get it away for an hour?

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 26/12/2016 09:40

One the one hand, he's too little to know it's Christmas.

But on the other, I do get pissed off, sometimes that I'm used as regular (and overnight) childcare, but have got to be distant enough to not care about seeing/doing things with my Granddaughter, at times.

Would they have got him? Or did you have to go?

BertrandRussell · 26/12/2016 09:42

Yep. You were unreasonable. Sorry.

PeggyMitchell123 · 26/12/2016 09:42

I don't know, personally I would have let him go for an hour. She does a lot to help so I wouldn't think an hour is a lot for her to ask.

However I can understand why you said no and the passive aggressive status is annoying.

Original poster
Theyhaveallbeenused2 · 26/12/2016 09:43

They would have came for home as I don't drive...my door is always open for them to come visit. I am very grateful for what they do for us didn't mean to sound ungrateful.

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 26/12/2016 09:44

Yep ywbu.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 26/12/2016 09:45

YABU, sorry.

JustSpeakSense · 26/12/2016 09:45

I think considering all the childcare help they offer that YABU...sorry

llangennith · 26/12/2016 09:45

Not too late to apologise.

Bloodybloodyheckers · 26/12/2016 09:45

If you get on well enough for her to be unpaid childcare surely you could have gone with him for an hour to theirs so they get to see him and you don't miss him.

So YABU they "earned" the hour.

But the FB stuff is Hmm

BlurryFace · 26/12/2016 09:46

YANBU, he's your kid and she had him on Xmas Eve. Personally I would stop accepting her help and tell her she can see her GS when he is with his father, but then I don't do petulant adults pouting on social media.

allowlsthinkalot · 26/12/2016 09:46

I'm amazed anybody thinks ywbu. It's fine not to see extended family on Christmas Day. She had seen him Christmas Eve.

Underthemoonlight · 26/12/2016 09:51

She spent all Christmas Eve with him so I don't see the problem I don't think you were unreasonable

ThatsWotSheSaid · 26/12/2016 09:51

YANBU however, you could have let him go. It's just an hour.

catkind · 26/12/2016 09:52

Taking him away for an hour sounds daft, and with a 1yo too it would make far more sense to open it the day before and spread out the excitement a bit. When DC were 1 they were so busy playing with stocking toys and the first 1 or 2 opened that most of their main presents were opened after Xmas anyway.
Maybe it would have been nice to suggest she come over for a mince pie and open present at yours. Anyway it's done now, and PA comments on fb are bvu.

RoseGoldHippie · 26/12/2016 09:53

I don't think YWBU I think you haven't been able to see your Ds over the week including Xmas eve, she should understand that you want to spend some quality time with him. Plus it is NEVER just an hour!

BertrandRussell · 26/12/2016 09:53

Actually, I suppose we need to know what the passive agressive comments were........

Badhairday1001 · 26/12/2016 09:57

No not unreasonable at all. My MIL does the same, I just say they are welcome to come to visit us but we won't be going there on Christmas Day.

Original poster
Theyhaveallbeenused2 · 26/12/2016 09:59

Comment made on fb under a comment my friend had posted saying she was so happy to see his face yesterday glad he liked his gift etc...mil replied glad you seen his face lucky you cause we never....bil and sil have also took humplace have left WhatsApp group and deleted me on facebook

OP posts:
Original poster
Theyhaveallbeenused2 · 26/12/2016 10:00

Also must add although ex is oversees he still seen ds face as it's been put as we videocalled with him.

OP posts:
Whosthemummynow · 26/12/2016 10:01

Well.... I can see her point after that update!

Original poster
Theyhaveallbeenused2 · 26/12/2016 10:03

Friend literally dropped his present off in passing was here maybe 5 10 minutes seeing him open gift as he was ready for a nap.

OP posts:
Onynx · 26/12/2016 10:03

Yanbu- why could they not have 'popped in' with his present if it was so important to them that they see him Christmas Day? I've never heard of anybody taking a baby away from its home on Christmas Day to open presents. They are being ridiculous.

PeggyMitchell123 · 26/12/2016 10:05

I can see why she was annoyed. She helps out with childcare but when she asks for just an hour on Christmas Day she is told no. Then she goes on facebook already upset at not seeing her grandson to find your friend was able to see him but she wasn't.

Would it really have killed you to give her an hour in a goodwill gesture for all the childcare help she gives you.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 26/12/2016 10:06

I have to agree that you messed up a bit there op. She does loads for you and she asked for 1 hour, you said no as you want it to be just you two, then finds out that your friend was over visiting. It's a bit of a kick in the teeth for her.

I would start today with an apology to her and work from there.

TheFairyCaravan · 26/12/2016 10:08

YABU.

She has him for you so you can go to work and you can't even find an hour for her to see him open his presents on Christmas Day. That's really selfish.