Your thoughts

[starsorwater]

BIL aged 54 but still very much the younger son. Spent last Christmas alone. This Christmas was invited to us on 23rd argued for 21st saying flights cheaper. Was warned it you come 21st on your head be it, DDs birthday, expect visiting kids.
No problem with that, says BIL and here he is, and has been since 21st. He has brought no presents, no cards, no booze, no chocs, no clean clothes, and 3 tins of pickled herring.
The towels, shower gel etc left in his room are still pristine. He smells like a hundred old dogs. Three days down, three to go.
Your thoughts, wise mumsnetters?

Stick him in the garden and hose him down

Is he okay ? Mentally I mean ?

Oh yes. I think so. Oddish in the huge grey snaky pony tail sense. Into Swedish folk dance oh it is lovely to write about him here.

If there are no learning difficulties involved I would say something along the lines of "get in the shower, you stink" and ask him to hand you his clothes so you can wash them.

Maybe have a gentle word and offer to clean and tumble dry clothes over night if you are able to?

Rude if he hasn't come with any pressies for your kids if your hosting him for so long.

No presents at all. Have showed him how to use washing machine. He sits on the sofa in his RANK pyjamas until afternoon. Never ever ever ever ever again. Can you really say to someone, 'Please wash,' I cannot imagine being so rude. Why would someone not wash? I am dreading his sheets. I plan to boil them.

Is it a Swedish thing?

Not washing?

Boil them? You should bin them!!

Ask him what time he wants to book this shower for tomorrow

Sorry OP but I laughed out loud at 3 tins of pickled red herring!

I think your husband should have a eird with him (if he's his brother)

Don't know how red crept in there

I would bin them if I was rich, but they are the (nice) spare room sheets. Anyway, I can't throw away the sofa can I?

How to get him clean? How? How? The kids are out. He has just been offered a bubblebath soak before they come back. No thank you, he says.

Word, obvs

I don't think it's a 'Swedish' thing. I think it's a lazy bastard thing.

You invited him so I think you just have to suck it up for the next few days. Then never ever invite him again.

Tell him he smells and if he's staying for another 3 days, he must wash or he can leave!! Your house, your rules.

Every morning we have asked if he wants first shower etc. Why? he asked once, sniffing his ELBOWS, do I smell?

I know it is petty, but he is spoiling Christmas. DD asked in private, 'if you could change one thing about uncle C what would it be?'
'I do not like to say,' I said, not wishing to name the undead.
'Would it be personal hygiene?' she asked.

YES IT WOULD
The herrings were not red. They were plain pickled, pickled with lemon and picked with blackcurrants.

Argh, he's my age. IMO middle age has no bearing on standards of hygiene, generosity, behavioural issues, so it must be some other problem. Turn off the TV, throw a towel and a bar of soap at him and demand he wash himself, immediately. Then threaten him with expulsion if he doesn't do some shopping for the rest of you. Jerk!

If he wants to behave like a child, treat him like one.

Tell him to get in the shower. If he asks does he smell, say yes.

It's perfectly acceptable for his brother to tell him to shower.
Tell him it's a Xmas Eve tradition in your house. Then shove an orange and some cloves and cinnamon up his arse.

Am not going any where near his unfragrant arse. DH is trying now I believe. Will check progress.

No progress.

Throw him out. I'm serious.