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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate staying at other people's houses

154 replies

rookiemere · 22/12/2016 21:15

Just back from a trip to visit family including 3 nights staying with 2 different families. Both were very hospitable and friendly, but Im absolutely delighted to be back home. In fact we were meant to stay for an extra night but changed because of the weather.

I was trying to pin point what I dislike about it. I think its because we sleep on a super king at home and keep the room quite cold. Also felt as if we had to be "on" all the time and Couldn't properly relax.

Is it just me that's like this?

OP posts:

SquiffyAtBreakfastOnEggnog · 22/12/2016 21:54

I hate other people's bathrooms.
I don't even share a bathroom with DH

OMGtwins · 22/12/2016 21:55

Ooh the heating thing sucks too. Can't stand being too hot, and it always is wherever we go... Also the blimmin TV on granny volume (IE so loud it hurts my ears) and being out of sync with other people (IE have to be up early thanks to the kids, so we need early lunches and early tea and then we're knackered in evening, and others are opposite-late everything...). Twas easier pre kids ;)

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 22/12/2016 21:58

YANBU, even when I'm made to feel very welcome and at-home (whichever TBF is 99% of the time) I can never quite be myself. I need my stuff around me and my home comforts, I constantly feel like I'm intruding in some way. Hotels are different but I am a home bird and one of these people who looks forward to leaving holiday so I can get back to my house!

SabineUndine · 22/12/2016 21:59

Difference between introverts and extraverts: introverts find the presence of other people drains their energy, extraverts get their energy from the the presence of other people. I'm a classic introvert and staying in other people's houses, their gaff their rules, wears me out. The lack of headspace and NO privacy at all just finishes me.

Oysterbabe · 22/12/2016 21:59

I don't like it either but strangely love hotels.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 22/12/2016 22:00

My mum's place is where I grew up and everyone but my mum knows that there is a squeaky floorboard in the middle at the top of the upstairs hall you have to avoid.

So my mum being an early riser, every morning before 6, the floorboard creaks very loudly and wakes anyone not my dad! Fucking nightmare and just another reason I hate it. Haven't lived there for more than 20 years and I still manage to avoid that fucking floorboard

lastqueenofscotland · 22/12/2016 22:03

Depends where. My mums I adore staying at, my PILs equally lovely and a good friend from unis feels really homely, always feel welcome there.

Other places I hate, my aunt makes me feel like a naughty child unless i sit nicely with my hands on my lap and don't move.

MillionToOneChances · 22/12/2016 22:03

YANBU! I like staying at my sister's and my best mate's, where I feel at home, otherwise I don't sleep well.

Original poster

rookiemere · 22/12/2016 22:06

Actually thinking about it we used to do house swaps and they weren't terribly relaxing either. too much other people's stuff and smells, not bad but distinctuve and not ours.

OP posts:

100milesanhour · 22/12/2016 22:14

I'm the same, I prefer my home comforts.

But I do stay with my family occasionally but I prefer to be at home.

CaraAspen · 22/12/2016 22:18

You sound ungrateful, OP.

Original poster

rookiemere · 22/12/2016 22:29

You're right I do sound ungrateful . I don't choose to not enjoy staying at other people's houses and I appreciate their kindness in hosting us.

OP posts:

Crispsheets · 22/12/2016 22:31

Oh I love a hotel.
It's sharing other people's homes I can't do.

Candlestickchick · 22/12/2016 22:34

I don't generally mind it, except I hate needing a poo in someone else's house.

Puppymouse · 22/12/2016 22:37

Have been like this as long as I can remember. Once I left home I didn't even like staying there for a night. The bed isn't mine, the kitchen isn't mine, you have to talk to people and mind your manners. I used to get sick and butterflies in my tummy before being taken to friends' or relatives' houses for the weekend when I was younger.

Now I just avoid it like the plague and stay away only for work or the very occasional holiday. I am not comfortable staying in other people's houses abroad either. Has to be a hotel.

Crispbutty · 22/12/2016 22:38

I'm the same, love staying at hotels, hate staying at other people's houses.

Don't usually mind guests but the last two who stayed (one of them uninvited but just turned up with the invited one), did my nut in. Invitee is a very close friend of many years, who we hadn't seen since we moved away, but brought a random woman he had just started seeing, who we had never met. She was shit faced within half an hour of us going out so we came home again. She then behaved like a twat for the rest of the evening. We had work the next day so went up to bed about midnight, leaving them the two sofas and bedding. They talked loudly then shagged loudly for the next two bloody hours.

Brighteyes27 · 22/12/2016 22:43

No I love going on holidays but love my own space too. Like others I dislike staying in others houses. We keep our bedroom cold, we have a comfy super king and I am up and down to the loo several times a night. I also can't go to the loo in other people's homes other than for a wee. So one night is my max. I would much rather stay in a hotel for some down time at the beginning and end of the day and a hotel loo.

LittleMissUpset · 22/12/2016 22:44

I love holidays but would rather sleep in my own bed, if I could teleport at the beginning and end of each day I would!

I don't feel comfortable staying in other people's houses or having people stay here, but I'm an introvert who's on the autism spectrum and I have OCD so that probably explains things

SoTheySentMeA · 22/12/2016 22:44

Absolutely the same here! MIL is always really kind and accommodating when we visit but being 300 miles from my own bed and comfort zone always wears me down a bit towards the end of our stay. Also get exactly what you mean about being 'on' all the time. Like you constantly need to be on best behaviour, have your 'outside the house' face on. It is lovely of people to have us to stay but it is wonderful to go home again.

I like hotels though, they are usually fab.

Cherrysoup · 22/12/2016 22:45

How is it ungrateful to not like staying at someone's house? This forum can be very strange: no opinions allowed? It's not ungrateful, it's an opinion.

I hate staying at anyone's house. I feel uncomfortable, no matter how close I am to the person, I'd rather be at home and host them. My poor db is currently staying at my dparents' place-for a fortnight (he lives in another country). He's not having a good time.

Sar80 · 22/12/2016 22:49

Formerbabe
I'm exactly the same!

Flingmoo · 22/12/2016 22:53

I stayed with my parents for a night recently and I could hear BOTH of them snoring loudly all night through my bedroom wall!

Brighteyes27 · 22/12/2016 22:55

I'm not keen on staying or hosting guests over night. I would like having people round for a meal or a few hours but after which I've had enough.

LittleStripyBee · 22/12/2016 23:05

YANBU. Even as a child I was sick at the thought of a sleepover. DH has family in London and they are wonderful, they are the best hosts and I adore them, but I've told him I can't do it anymore, I just can't relax (or poo, or shag. Sorry.) and I'd rather save and pay for a hotel. I just find staying with anyone else stresses me, which is weird as we love a weekend in a hotel.

underneaththeash · 22/12/2016 23:08

Its lovely for a night and then I want to go back home too.

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