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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If your sibling has no DC do they get more presents from your parents than if they did

55 replies

moredealsplease · 22/12/2016 11:03

Not sure how I feel about this really. I have 2 DC who my parents of course buy Christmas presents for. To sort of compensate for this my childless DSis gets that sort of value of pressies extra. Feel slightly put out but I know it is petty and IA probably BU!

OP posts:
KindergartenKop · 22/12/2016 11:06

That's weird. Will your sister kick off if she gets less? Is she jealous of your children? Is she 5?

WreckTangled · 22/12/2016 11:08

That is weird. My parents spend the same amount on my sister as they do on me. I have two dc my sister has none.

harderandharder2breathe · 22/12/2016 11:11

Unless your sister throws tantrums if this doesn't happen then yabvu

Your parents can spend what they like, in their eyes it's being fair to you both

thenightmanageress · 22/12/2016 11:13

This year my DP have suggested we don't do adult presents as everyone has everything they need.
They suggested just buying for my DC. DB doesn't have kids or a partner.
Yesterday I heard DM saying she'd bought DB one of those racetrack experience things for Christmas.
I'm a bit jealous but I guess they spend £00s on my DC and I have actually bought them small gifts.

Underthemoonlight · 22/12/2016 11:14

My auntie is spending more my eldest db who doesn't have kids, she buys for me my dh and my three DC then my other db his wife and one DC. He doesn't have a long term partner who will get him loads so I don't see why he shouldn't get more he's having to buy all his nieces and nephews

dollydaydream114 · 22/12/2016 11:14

That seems a bit weird to me. There are three siblings in my family and only one of us has kids but my parents just spend the same amount on all three of us. I don't get more than my brother because I'm childless and he doesn't get less because he's got kids. So YANBU to think this is a bit strange.

ProudBadMum · 22/12/2016 11:15

I've actually got more spent on me this year and I'm the only one with kids.

TBF it's a one off as mums bought some small appliances for my new house for me for Xmas that I couldn't buy myself.

Manumission · 22/12/2016 11:16

Who cares?

Come on! Grin

If other major injustices start piling up, fine.

If that's as bad as it ever gets in the "possibly not quite fair" stakes, that's really not too bad at at all Smile

Underthemoonlight · 22/12/2016 11:16

Thenight why shouldn't your dh get something he doesn't have kids and your DC are still getting presents no doubt off him as well?

Original poster
moredealsplease · 22/12/2016 11:17

She's 44! My parents tiptoe around and are permanently worried about upsetting her and tipping her over the edge as she has had previous addictions. Drives me mad but I try not to let it get to me. Just wondered if this is a normal happening or another example of their dysfunctional relationship.

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 22/12/2016 11:20

I don't sit there and work out the value of the presents my siblings and I get tbh.

user1482343889 · 22/12/2016 11:22

Sorry is that not part of being a mother, sharing all you have with them. Even now at my age when I go home and mention I'm hungry my mother will offer me that nights supper and say she will make a plan for later or herself

AllBraines · 22/12/2016 11:22

This happens in my family, there's 6 of us siblings, the 3 with children get token gifts and the 3 without get the same as the grandchildren

ClashCityRocker · 22/12/2016 11:22

Hmm. I think dh and I may get slightly more from both my mum and his mum because we don't have kids thinking about it...although not to the full value of what they spent on our various DNS and DNS - I'd be really uncomfortable with that.

Should I say something? When asked what we'd like, we do normally say 'spend it on the kids' with maybe a couple of small suggestions.

Manumission · 22/12/2016 11:22

The tiptoeing sounds far more worrying, odd, annoying than the spending split aspect does.

Redglitter · 22/12/2016 11:22

My mum spends more on me than on my brother He's married with 2 children. I'm single. She spends obviously most on the children but I get more than he does. That's just how she's always done it. I don't expect it and wouldn't bat an eyelid if she stopped and spent the same on us both

Sparlklesilverglitter · 22/12/2016 11:23

I can kind of see your parents logic. You have dc they need to buy for which is your family and as your sister doesn't have Dc yet so they spend a little more on her.

Why does it drive you mad? Confused do you get a calculator out on Christmas morning and work out how much yours and sisters gifts cost?

Redglitter · 22/12/2016 11:23

But then I also spend a lot more on her than he does

RebelandaStunner · 22/12/2016 11:24

No siblings without dc get the same from parents.
But siblings without dc get gifts from dc in the family. So it balances out that way.
Does your Dsis buy your dc presents and do you reciprocate?

EatTheCake · 22/12/2016 11:26

Normal imo

I have a Dh and 4 dc so my parents buy for them as well as me, That is my family.
My sister can't have dc so they buy her a few extra bits as they aren't paying out buying for her dc as well
It has never bothered me in the slightest!

Why is it an issue for you? In the grand scheme of life is it really an issue?

WonderMike · 22/12/2016 11:26

My child-free brother started to get upset about this when my Dc started getting "decent toys" as he put it, when he was 'just' getting clothes or electronics. So now he gets something he can play with just like the kids and we try to forget he is 44 and should be beyond sticking his bottom lip out and muttering about how unfair it is that his 5 year old nephew won't take turns Hmm

I think I get less, but I don't really care.

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 22/12/2016 11:27

Yeah, I am pretty sure that this is what happens in my family but it doesn't bother me and wouldn't ever mentioned it.

NathanBarleyrocks · 22/12/2016 11:28

Totally normal. It would be unfair if your parents didn't spend more on your sister seeing as they are spending more on your family.

FuzzyWizard · 22/12/2016 11:29

When I was little I remember my aunties who didn't yet have kids still getting significant gifts from my grandparents whilst the other 3 siblings who all had kids all got just token gifts. My mum and dad also used to buy gifts for those aunties even though they didn't buy for the other siblings (just their children). It all sounds pretty normal to me. I don't have kids but neither do my two sisters, I'd imagine once one of us does have kids my parents would use a similar approach.

Pinkheart5915 · 22/12/2016 11:32

It's normally surely.

Your parents and spending money on you and your dc so your little family isn't going without.
Your sister doesn't have dc yet so they spend a little more on her to match the value they spend on your family. Sounds fair to me!

What's the issue?