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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so upset with boyfriend

132 replies

TheQueenOfItAll · 20/12/2016 21:36

So, three years ago I moved abroad to be with my boyfriend, have been going to language classes and doing quite well - have skipped a few grades and am not in one of the final years.

However, I never practice said language, I work in English, have English friends and everybody seems to want to practice thier own English or imitate my accent when I'm around! So today at my class I (embarrassingly) got very upset because my teacher basically said that my vocab, reading and writing were very good but my speaking is utter crap (she said it in a nicer way)

I text boyfriend during my break and tell him I got upset during class and asked if we can switch our main language to his mother tongue (so no actual effort to be made on his part).

I get home and tell him in person how upset I am with myself for not knowing the language better. He then turns to be and says
"you're hopeless, and can't be helped so there is no point practicing with you, a r*** could have learned it faster."

I ask him again because, WTF and he again reiterates that he won't help me and that it's not his fault that my language skills are so bad. (we have had the "switch-over" talk quite a few times)

AIBU to think your fucking partner should help you with something he is clearly able to help with?

OP posts:
Spottytop1 · 20/12/2016 21:39

I'd pack my bags and leave ... how dare he speak to you like that & how dare he use the r word.

Aderyn2016 · 20/12/2016 21:40

Time to leave the nasty bastard and get a new boyfriend or come home.
You have moved to live in his country and he can't even be arsed to help you with the language. He doesn't deserve you. Honestly lovely, get rid. You can do better than him Flowers

Candlestickchick · 20/12/2016 21:42

What's a r*?

Anyway YANBU at all. You've moved abroad to be with him and are trying to learn the language. A bit more fucking support wouldn't go amiss.

DeleteOrDecay · 20/12/2016 21:43

This reminds me of that old adage: "when a man tells you who they are, listen to them" or something to that effect. He's showing you his true colours.

Your boyfriend sounds horrible op, I'm sorrySad

Sybys · 20/12/2016 21:43

Wow, he sounds a complete ass.

Learning a new language is something some people (myself included) find very difficult. It sounds like you've been giving it a really good do and doing pretty well. Incredibly shit that he won't support you, particularly given that he is one of the reasons that you are leaning in the first place. I'd be livid.

Curious to know what the censored word is. 6 letters?

Foxysoxy01 · 20/12/2016 21:43

Pack your bags and leave!!

What a horrible way to be spoken to and by the one person supposed to love you the most. You deserve better.

ClopySow · 20/12/2016 21:45

He sounds shit.

What is the r word

MrsExpo · 20/12/2016 21:45

Just come home. Sounds like an arrogant dick to me. You can do better than that.

Empress13 · 20/12/2016 21:49

What bloody language you learning ?

Cheeky beggar doesn't deserve you. Pack your bags girlfriend and come back home where you can swear yourself in your own language !

I too am struggling with what the R word is ??

arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2016 21:50

Look. My dh and I would never speak to each other like that. Never Ever. It just isn't acceptable.
It says volumes about what he thinks of you, ergo this isn't a relationship I'd be persuing. Yanbu.

JamesStPatrick · 20/12/2016 21:51

He sounds horrible!! This requires zero effort on his part. How dare he speak to you like this!

scottishdiem · 20/12/2016 21:52

""you're hopeless, and can't be helped so there is no point practicing with you, a r* could have learned it faster.""

This basically means he doesnt actually like you anymore.

Oysterbabe · 20/12/2016 21:52

R?

PotteringAlong · 20/12/2016 21:53

I'm going to guess at retard.

I'd be rethinking my relationship here.

rollonthesummer · 20/12/2016 21:53

r*?!

AnyFucker · 20/12/2016 21:55

How else does he demonstrate his contempt for you ?

harderandharder2breathe · 20/12/2016 21:57

He's a twat

Twatternatter · 20/12/2016 21:58

I think she meant retard. Nasty

Original poster
TheQueenOfItAll · 20/12/2016 21:58

Hi guys, thanks for answering I thought I was being unreasonable to question relationship because of this. A shame really as we are looking at a house together.

To those wondering the "r" word, it is retard.

I am really upset by this, not even the name calling; the fact that he refused to help me when I asked - I would never do that to him.

It's also fucking frustrating because I've helped him numerous times with his English and it never even crossed my mind to say no.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 20/12/2016 21:59

That is utterly awful of him, I think I'd be leaving tbh.

PaperdollCartoon · 20/12/2016 22:01

Pretty sure she means retard but didn't use a * for every letter.

This is a really nasty thing for him to say when you're just trying to learn. He should want to support you. Does he have form for saying nasty things?

MikeUniformMike · 20/12/2016 22:02

What is the language? Some languages are easier to learn, maybe it is a harder one.

BitOutOfPractice · 20/12/2016 22:05

It doesn't matter what language it is

He sounds horrible, unsupportive.

arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2016 22:06

Op - this is more than just not helping you. You don't speak like that (even in an argument) to someone you like or love.

arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2016 22:06

Unless, ironically, his English isn't very good and he meant something else?!

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