AIBU to think not sending Christmas cards and giving to charity instead is a big con?

[chickenstock]

Lots of people are announcing they're doing this now. If it was a genuine choice based on an inability to cover the cost of both, then fine. But most of the people I know who are doing it can more than afford to send some cards and give some money to charity. Also, why say the thing you're not doing is the thing that brings pleasure to others? Why not say, I'm going to have one less bottle of Prosecco this Christmas, or skip the fancy chocs or whatever, and give that money to charity? Just be honest and say I can't bothered to send some seasons greetings to the people I like. I think it's mean.

Allow did you read the posts on this thread from those of us who are going through a tough time and have said that we really appreciate cards and I know for me i really look forward to receiving and reading them when I am feeling really shit at the moment. I'm in my. 30s so not elderly!

allow I've posted on this thread about how much I appreciate receiving a card. Like nerr I'm in my 30s and don't consider myself elderly!

I love sending and receiving Christmas cards.

Why don't people stop sending birthday cards instead? They're a bigger con imo, much more expensive for one card and no risk of forgetting to wish one person a happy birthday.

i don't send (and don't really want to receive them)

they're just cluttery shit all over my house. the kids have got about 30 each so we've not binned them they're blue tac'ed onto the back of a door in a room we don't use

postage is 50p a card or something, i have much better things to do with my time and cash than clutter someone else's house up :)

I like to give & receive cards. I like reading the messages inside. I like the idea that someone has thought about us.

I think that declaring that you are giving to charity instead of buying & sending cards (which might cost, at the very most, a couple of quid) is just showing off and looking for glory - what's the phrase? Virtue signalling?

I think that if someone is going to give to charity then they should do so quietly and without fuss or showing off. It should also be giving up something that they are going to feel the loss of, not other people (e.g. the people who aren't going to get a card when they might like to).

There is a link for some of us.

I haven't sent cards since my son died. I don't want to send cards without his name, and later on without my daughters name on, and it breaks my heart to see family cards without a huge part of our family on there too, so I donate to charities in their honour instead.

Nice to know that some people think I'm a scrooge though.

Fair enough, I take that back, I hadn't realised it mattered to people.

Birthday cards matter to me more because they are personal. I tend to think Christmas cards are sent as a chore. But that birthday cards are for an individual and not sent to everyone. So I do send birthday cards to show people they mean something to me.

I don't even put Christmas cards up.

Just shows how different people are.

My string of Christmas Cards forms one of my favourite part of my decorations. Not only do they change every year, but each one is a well wish from someone I know (it's Christmas, so I'm allowed to be twee).

For a lot of the ones I send, I put a little drawing and a few lines in to let that person know I think they're great and that I really do hope they have a tits-out-amazing Christmas. Some of the little messages and weird cards I got this year were really great, and obviously given with love/appreciation/humour and other good stuff rather than obligation.

I'm not planning on sending cards next year. I don't really put any thought into the cards, I just sign them so what's the point?

Shock, horror, I will say something on FB though just to let people know why I'm not sending them. It might also encourage people to donate to the charity.

i don't want other peoples litter in my beautifully decorated living room

Fucking hell!!!!! Someone has thought about you and sent you a card as a gesture of good will and christmassy keeping up connections with people that we like, appreciate or don't have time to see.

I like cards for this reason, I give them to friends and family, neighbours and people who have been awesome (like the garage that look after my car and have done ext - they got chocs too!)

If people think I'm giving them litter then I don't care at all. I'm giving them a tiny bit of paper that says I appreciate them or that they make a tiny difference in my life...

This year I donated to charity instead of giving cards and gifts to colleagues - one of our colleagues has a sick child, so the charity was chosen accordingly. Not sure how this is a 'con'.

I enjoy receiving cards and Christmas letters, and I still sent cards to family and friends.

(which might cost, at the very most, a couple of quid)

If your going to chat shite at least get some accuracy into your flippant remarks!

[I haven't sent cards since my son died. I don't want to send cards without his name, and later on without my daughters name on, and it breaks my heart to see family cards without a huge part of our family on there too, so I donate to charities in their honour instead.

Nice to know that some people think I'm a scrooge though]

Exactly this. My 2 year old son died in a charity funded hospice. I fundraise all year for this charity. At Christmas I donate £50. The Christmas cards (and stamps) I choose not to buy pushes the total up to £60. The extra £10 means a great deal to parents of terminally ill children - especially when they get that £10 a hundred fold.

If its the difference between giving to a worthwhile cause or writing cards for neighbours and those you don't keep in touch with - except a card every year. Then there is no choice. If I am considered to be a scrooge then so be it. And for the poster who was aghast at my mentioning that I don't like cards littering up my house ....engage your brain before allowing yourself to be offended.

Chat shite with inaccurate, flippant remarks?!

I do spend a couple of quid - two packs of these tesco own Xmas cards sent in person costs £1.50.

I might be absolutely skint at the moment but even I can afford to spend that on cards for other people to show them that I care and am thinking about them and then to quietly give another tenner or so to a charity.

I've donated to the Samaritans and SANDS as their phonelines are open all over Christmas...I reckon reaching out inadvertently to people I don't know at a time of need is worth more than To Person I Did My Degree With From Person You Haven't Spoken To in 15 Years. If that's being a Scrooge, then so be it.

I have announced it on FB not to show how good I am, but to raise awareness that their lines are open because out of the 500 people on my FB, there might be someone who needs them. Also so people know it's not a cull of the recipient but the concept of Christmas cards.

Love to you elsa if you see this. It's a hard enough time of year without having to sit and write tens of Christmas cards without one or two less names. I get that completely.

Those of you who have very good reasons for not sending cards because it's just too painful, I completely understand. I have a few friends/family members who I know have had a a very difficult time or are very hard up, and I happily send a card to without expecting one in return.

The thing is though that the majority aren't in this situation - they could easily afford a few packs of cards as well as donating to charity - but they just can't be bothered and instead think that a quick 'Merry Christmas to all my friends' Facebook status is somehow a good enough substitute. It really isn't.

Tbh I find it ironic that people will donate £10 to the Samaritans at Christmas while they probably have friends and family members who are old and/or lonely at Christmas who would desperately love to just hear from someone to say that they are thinking about them. Little acts of kindness like this make a big difference...maybe charity should start a bit closer to home.

dancegirl I'm glad you think some people's reasons are good enough. Really, I'm sure that makes them much happier.
I don't need your approval or your view of what is good enough on my dealings with my friends and family. I don't send cards, I do give to charity (all year) and I sometimes link them, as others have said, to raise awareness/encourage others.
You write as though sending cards is done kind of moral duty. Get a grip.

I would donate to charity if my family weren't so obsessed with cards.

They really are just a con so I don't mind people giving the money to charity instead.

Cardibach, I'm sure your friends are grateful for you encouraging them to donate to a charity of your choice at Christmas instead of sending them a card or message. I actually prefer to choose which charities to donate to myself.

I do regard sending cards as a moral duty actually - because I know that they mean a lot to many people (see other peoples' posts above), hence why it's important to me - but each to their own. Thanks for your feedback anyway!

Here's a piece of paper to show how much I care!

My DM was killed in a car accident in September. This Christmas I have donated to the Air Ambulance who attended her, instead of sending xmas cards. With working, looking after DC and clearing out her house the week before xmas I don't have time to be writing cards, and if donating instead of doing so makes a difficult situation a bit easier for me and benefits a worthwhile charity, I'll bloody well do so.

I did this for the first time this year: didn't send cards, donated to charity and posted about it on FB. Two reasons for posting on FB: firstly, as an explanation to people who might have expected a card and to say happy Christmas to them, and secondly, to encourage other people to donate by posting s link to the charity. Nothing to do with bragging,

dabcegirk that's pretty sanctimonious and deliberately obtuse I think. I'm out.

Sorry dancegirl. Misspelling accidental.

CPtart oh how awful, I'm so sorry