Partner doesn't want me to be on fb?

[Breakingbadjesse]

So basically I re opened my fb account a few months ago. He isn't on there, that I know of - he thinks it's pointless.
He particularly doesn t like a pic I have as my profile pic, I am wearing my favourite dress and it shows a little cleavage. Which is easily done as i am quite large chested. Big deal.
People have commented positively just saying things like 'beautiful' etc. Admittedly the majority males :/
However he has gone insane, saying i am 'hoeing' myself and that the men on fb should start paying the bills!
I know I could solve this by taking the pic down but surely he is just being unreasonable? Or am I?
And then what else will he start trying to be controlling with?
Also, for context the rest of my fb is basically just pics of the kids and stuff. I hardly think I am Kylie Jenner for example!
I have noticed a few red flags with him recently :( we have been together a long time, if I am being unfair I will happily jump off my high horse! And be hugely embarrassed. Just need some objectivity.
Thanks in advance

You wrote on a public forum that you do actually post their pictures and I simply chose to tell you what I think about it, bad...

If somebody were to post a picture of my DD on facebook I'd be very upset.

So, if I was your partner I wouldn't care about your pictures or be a controlling and sexist arse. But I would care about the 'pics of the kids and stuff'. Very much, actually.

He sounds like a gem

But what's she doing to herself Horatio?!

If DP said something like that to me I'd shove the computer so far up his arse it'd be coming out of his mouth.

OP this 2not normal, please don't allow this to continue, it'll wear you down.

You wouldn't be ending it over something trivial. He has been grooming you for years subtlety. You've probably acquiesced to all over the years and this is the first time you've stood your ground therefore he's had to show his true colours. Our relationships are the benchmark from which our DC take their cues. Do you want your dd to think this is acceptable? Of course you don't so why should you put up with it.

daisy

could you plead rephrase your question? Are you wondering about my wording or why I personally wouldn't post pictures of myself or...?

I'm honestly confused.

Taking the photo down won't solve anything. He'll still be as unpleasant.

Anyway you clearly know what you need and want to do. Good luck.

I'm wondering what you meant by saying:-

"I personally would be upset about the pictures of DD on fb and would wonder why you wanted to do that to yourself."

So we've now clarified that for some reason you've decided to start talking about the wrongness of posting pictures of children on FB. But where you say above-

and would wonder why you wanted to do that to yourself.

Who are you talking about and what is the 'damage' to which you seem to be inferring?

What on earth makes him think that he has the right to control you like this? You aren't his child.

frumps

Privacy.

OP, Have you downloaded messenger and synced your contacts to messenger?

If not. Do it. Please do it. It will bring up any FB accounts linked to phone numbers or emails in your phone.

I suspect he has a FB page already.

I agree with everything else everyone has been saying but also my spidey senses are telling me he doesn't want you to use FB because he's on there and hasn't told you.

horatio - so you agree that this abusive partner should not have a problem with the picture of OP in a dress, but he SHOULD in fact be upset about her sharing pictures of the DC with chosen people because of.. PRIVACY.

Ok... Irrelevant and judgemental.

Symptomatic of much bigger issues. He sounds like a controlling, misogynist twat. LTB.

Do you know about jesse's individual FB privacy settings Horatio?

I was about to say what betty was saying. Spidey senses say he's worried someone is going to message you about something he has been up to.

1horatio

OP has every right to post pictures of her DC on FB. Her partner has no right to stop her doing so.

My DH used to think FB was like a dating site......even though our daughter was on it. Took him a while for me to explain it wasn't and he was being a twat. It meant I could keep in touch with friends overseas etc.
Try explaining to him why you use it. Mine is absolutely fine with it after explaining what it's for.
Your partner is being a twat. Hopefully it's just this he's a twat about.

ahickie

Are they her children or their children? If they are her children? Sure, his opinion doesn't matter.

But even then I personally think she should respect their right to privacy.

I'm confused as I don't think there if anywhere near enough info in this post to justify everyone saying "he's an abuser, he's controlling, leave him now"
People are allowed to get jealous if their OH starts receiving male attention/female attention - whatever. Jealousy is quite a natural feeling to have
My OH is far from controlling or an abuser but if I put up a pic and a load of guys commented saying "beautiful" etc etc I'd be surprised if he didn't ask me what was going on!

Have you RTFT MummyStep123?

My OH is far from controlling or an abuser but if I put up a pic and a load of guys commented saying "beautiful" etc etc I'd be surprised if he didn't ask me what was going on!

What if he said you were embarrassing and looked like a slut?

I have yes, well I've read all of OP's comments. I just don't think that there's enough info to go that far, she's even said herself he's a "really decent bloke" and this is the only thing that's bothered her, unless I am missing something major.

mummy

It's the rest... this thread was a bit drip-feedy, but her 'D'H sounds quite awful.