Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to leave 10 year old at home with his nan while the rest of us go to Florida?

350 replies

user1482217471 · 20/12/2016 07:16

10 year old son has caught a nasty bug and he is pretty much in bed 24/7 and has been for a couple of days. He has been having lots of fluids but has the full d & v. He is ok though but no way is he ok to come away. We rarely go on big holidays but do go to somewhere in Europe every year. We are going to Orlando for Christmas I have 5 children and I think it will be really magical. He is very close to my nan and they spend a lot of time together. The last thing I want to do is leave him but I do have 4 other children that cannot wait for this holiday and I don't really know what to do. WIBU to go away with other children and leave him here with his nan?

OP posts:
3luckystars · 20/12/2016 10:19

If he is too unwell to travel then you can't leave him.

kua · 20/12/2016 10:20

All being well you should get the ESTA almost immediately.

GinIsIn · 20/12/2016 10:21

You can get an instant esta if it's just for one person - it only takes longer for groups. She just needs to fill out the form online and pay the $14

larrygrylls · 20/12/2016 10:29

I would go and he can join you if he gets better in time (you can pay for an escort on the plane).

Get some extra special presents for him. He may have a lovely quiet Christmas and special bonding time that he will remember for life.

With a big family, sometimes one or two may have to miss out. Will all even out in the end.

Tweasels · 20/12/2016 10:30

Crikey - try not to panic - easier said than done I would imagine! Could you speak to someone from the airline/travel company/insurance who can talk you through everything you need to do to make sure you don't miss anything. If you can do it, your mum going and you joining in a couple of days is without a doubt the best option.

Frollyhollyday · 20/12/2016 10:31

Get the esta now as it can take any time. Sometimes its immediate sometimes a day. Do it asap.

welshweasel · 20/12/2016 10:34

What have your insurance company actually said? There is zero point in panicking if you haven't spoken to them. There may be a simple solution. Don't change anything wrt flights without authorisation from the insurance company or you won't get any money back.

stolemyusername · 20/12/2016 10:37

I would postpone op. Even if your DS is fit and well in a day or 2, there's no guarantee that one of the others won't start with it - what's your mum going to do on her own in America with no support and not able to leave the hotel/apartment due to a sick child? What would the other children be able to do in that situation.

YelloDraw · 20/12/2016 10:38

It's so stressful and not what you need but chin up.

Write down the options and pro/con and what would need to happen to make them work.

Then phone insurance and airline and see which are possible and what you need to do to make them work.

Options:
All stay and try and claim on insurance
Try and move to Easter
All go and leave him
All go and be flys with Nan or unaccompanied later when well
Children and Nan go and you and DS follow when we'll.

TaggieRR · 20/12/2016 10:38

I'm so sorry and I hope you can sort it so your mum can go too. I couldn't leave my 10 year old alone at Christmas but I'm sorry you're going through this after losing your dh.

pklme · 20/12/2016 10:45

Postpone- I've had D and V on holiday, was dragged around by DPs so as not to ruin the holiday.

You are at risk of having all the kids confined to barracks in Florida while each of the gets it in turn- and you too!

Less risky to use insurance to cancel and rebook, if at all possible.

For you at home, you could buy in loads of snack food, DVDs, and not have a special Christmas event IYSWIM. Pick the bits you want to do, but not the rest. Ask kids if they want you to ask Santa to come later instead?

I once ignored Christmas, for various reasons. Worked out ok.

Vagndidit · 20/12/2016 10:51

I really feel for you, Op. It's miserable luck and timing. I have had made similar decisions when DS fell ill before long trips abroad (we visit family yearly in the States) but he's the only child and it's only been a case of waiting it out to see if his health improves. I obviously don't have other children to consider. But I would be very concerned that any one of them could also fall ill in the coming days. And being away from home with sick children is a certain kind of hell.

If I were you, I'd be claiming your insurance and rearranging the trip for Eastertime or halfterm instead. There's still time to pull off a magical Christmas at home.

CaraAspen · 20/12/2016 10:55

Unbelievable. I am speechless that you would even consider such a thing. Wow

xStefx · 20/12/2016 10:57

Aw god what an awful situation for you, I bet it cost a fortune too . It would depend on the child. for a 10 year old to say he understands he is too unwell to go and if he has a good relationship with his nan I would say to go away with your other children and leave him in the care of his nan. That really really sucks hun, the people being mean on here really shouldn't be, its an awful dilemma

Ahickiefromkinickie · 20/12/2016 11:00

ATaleof

You'll go to the doctors to get a not fit to fly but not a solution...

Okay.

Going to the doctor's is the solution. Are you just trying to be unhelpful?

Ahickiefromkinickie · 20/12/2016 11:01

CaraAspen RTFT

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2016 11:01

Such a horrible situation OP, but I agree with others that you and your other 4 children are bound to come down with the same bug very soon.

I hope you can find a solution to it all.

thatsnotmyusername · 20/12/2016 11:04

Goodness. I hope you get sorted OP and your DS feels better soon. Just rubbish timing.

So sorry about your DH Flowers

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 20/12/2016 11:08

Phone the insurance company. They will tell you what you can and can't do. If you think the best option for your family is for you all to stay behind and then go together when you are sure you are all healthy then suggest that.

FWIW we went through similar when we thought I was mis carrying DS - had a holiday booked 10 days later and due to the circumstances they wouldn't know if I was mis carrying for another 2 weeks. Got a doctors note, got all the money back (including random stuff like car parking already booked) and re-booked and went when I was about 24 weeks pregnant instead. (Which was much better as I didn't spend the trip with my head down the loo.)

periwinklepickspoppies · 20/12/2016 11:11

I can't believe that you'd even consider this Biscuit

Tweasels · 20/12/2016 11:19

I can't believe people don't RTFT before posting Biscuit

Dowser · 20/12/2016 11:23

No, you can't go off and leave him.
I haven't read the full thread but this is exactly what travel insurance is for.
He can't miss out on this family experience of a lifetime. It would set him apart from his siblings too much.
He would have to live with the disappointment for the rest of his life. You would have to live with the guilt.

Horrible situation. Really sucks

user1481201991 · 20/12/2016 11:28

Awful predicament OP. I hope you can get it sorted. If Nan is travelling with the children definitely write a letter authorising her to take them out of the country with other documentary evidence of the relationship if possible. They may also be questioned about the father and want to see proof of your sole parental responsibility.

Also, I believe some airlines cancel a return portion of a trip if the traveller is a no show for the outward portion? No direct experience of this so perhaps others can chime in with the facts if you were thinking of buying new outward one way tickets for you and/or DS. Apologies if this has been mentioned as I've only had time to skim read the thread.

Good luck OP.

CaraAspen · 20/12/2016 11:29

"Ahickiefromkinickie

CaraAspen RTFT"

What? I have read it.
rolls eyes

Dowser · 20/12/2016 11:30

Just read a bit more. Good luck with the doctors and the plan for your mum to take them.

Hope it all works out for you.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.