To think it's actually a lie when argue that suicide is always a selfish act, that others get hurt by it?

[ChristmasFuckOff]

Firstly, MNHQ as you always comment on these threads - this isn't somebody making a post about being suicidal. I'm not. Dunno why not because I probably should be and maybe I will be later this week but right now...no.

I'm sick of all the stuff out there saying how if somebody commits suicide, there will be people devastated. That it's always selfish. Often people who are suicidal say they don't want to be a burden, is that not actually a reasonable argument?

I think a lot of people out there, with friends and family, can't seem to understand there are others out there who literally don't have good relationships. So it doesn't affect anyone else.

You know who is selfish? Those who would want a person to carry on living when they do not want to, just to spare their own pain.

Yes. Thank you.

Or the shitheads who proclaim, upon hearing that a passenger is under a train, "oh how selfish, I'll be home late now".

I thought suicide was selfish when my dad attempted it several times.

Sadly this year he was successful. I still feel like it was a bit selfish. BUT I can recognise that he was mentally ill and had been for years.
He felt we would be better off without him. He was very very wrong though.
I was the one who found him and I don't think I will ever get over that. I am not coping. I look like to am to others but underneath I am a complete mess.
The people left behind suffer alot. Anger guilt sometimes relief as well. It has ripped my life apart.
Someone up thread said life goes on. It does buts it not a life I know or want.
Mental health contributed to my dads death but I would say the real cause is the woeful mental health services. We begged for help and got none

Ive felt like ending it all, but I'm too competitive and think, fuck this the pain is a journey and a learning curve. The world needs you and you need the world. You wouldn't be asking for a discussion otherwise. Get some sleep and see how you feel tomorrow.

RTFT

I think there's perhaps a distinction to be made between the suicidal person's intent and the experience of those left behind.

While those left behind feel devastated by the suicide of someone they loved, and may experience it as something selfish and even cruel, I really don't think that's ever the intention of the person who has killed themselves when they really felt there was no alternative.

A lot of those arguments could be extended to abortion.

Interesting questions. In the Netherlands and Belgium, assisted suicide is available for people with longstanding mental health conditions. Cultural differences aside, that might begin to answer such questions.

I think if you're feeling that way, it's usually because of an illness, the person is not wanting to be selfish. My DHs aunt committed suicide and the devastation on the family was and still is awful. She would not have wanted that but it was her illness took her away from us. It took me time to think that way though.

Disagree with the Op on AIBU and you are a liar? Nice touch. There've been a few uncomfortable posts on here but the OP set the tone by making a confrontation out of a sad and moving subject.

Have you posted on the right thread? Because I can't see any sense in that post at all.

Madship what are you on about?

"AIBU to think it's a lie etc etc" is what the op said.

I'm still not understanding your point.

Oh, and welcome to MN

The op is being confrontational about an emotive subject from the outset.

I suffer from chronic depression and I really cannot count the number of times I have contemplated, even planned, suicide. I once made a serious attempt in my 20s but my mum phoned unexpectedly just as the pills were kicking in. I spoke to her then called an ambulance. When I left hospital the following day I was so horrified by what I had nearly done to my family.

Since then even though I may have suicidal thoughts on a daily basis when things are particularly bad, I have always promised myself never to harm myself. I couldn't do anything more cruel to anyone who cares for me, particularly to my DC. I am lucky to have people who love me. I remember them when life is dark.

Have you read the full thread? It's been a very open and honest discussion throughout. Hardly confrontational at all despite what you may have read in the op.

Another person who doesn't want to talk about the subject because it's uncomfortable. There is no confrontation, only a rational discussion regarding an important part of everyone's life - do I really want to be here and just how bad does my existence have to get before I wish to check out?

Surely we all have the right to determine this?

Interesting info there Ubiquity

I absolutely believe that assisted suicide should be available and to long term mental health sufferers as well.

This perverse insistence that the sick should be kept alive at all costs and that self destruction is an act against god is cruel. Many of us aren't religious and shouldn't be held to the belief that only god can give or take life.

Some of the people I talk to say they would actually feel happy and with an improved quality of life if they were able to obtain the substance and keep it at home so that they may at least have a choice when they feel they've had enough. They don't come across as irrational or crazy, just in a great deal of mental anguish. The strongly held belief by the general population that people who kill themselves are somehow mad is wrong. Some people may be out of touch with reality or do it as an impulsive act, but this just isn't the case for most.

Did rtft. Lie is a confrontational word. But if you are ok with it, then that's your view.

So you've rtft and chosen to completely ignore everything that's been said in favour of one word which you deem to be confrontational. Wow, talk about completely missing the point.

Wow.

I was in an emotionally and financially controlling and abusive relationship. I didn't realise at the time but he had alcohol, drug and depression issues. I got him clean and helped him, supported him and he was in a mh programme he said was helping. What I didn't know was that he'd met someone in the group therapy who could supply him drugs and he was also lying to the group leader about his feelings.

I left the relationship as I began to really suffer with my own anxiety and depression. I couldn't help him, he didn't want help. Not from me. He killed himself, blamed me, and I have to live with that. My boss found him. She has to live with that. His family were devastated. He lied to them all. He even wrote a letter saying that he wasn't loved - I know and knew then that he was very loved and he did know that. He was always saying how lucky he was to have his mum, but he was a EA classic, and yes a Narc, -I think he was incredibly selfish. I hate him for what he did to me. Because he deliberately tore me down, then when I found the strength to go to my parents for help he committed suicide and blamed me. Cheers.