Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

[runningaftermydreams]

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

One of my best friends is called Anaïs, after her Spanish grandmother, and she pronounces it "Anay" while her parents pronounce it "an-ay-eess" but when she introduces herself to English speakers, she just calls herself Annie because it makes her life easier and stops all the garbled mispronunciations of her name.

I have a lot of Irish family so names like Aoife, Ruari, Saoirse, Tadhg etc aren't hard for me to pronounce properly because I am so used to hearing them but a lot of people struggle because they are so unfamiliar with the structure vs the sound pronunciation ... and those kids often get very adept to answering to various forms of mangled sounds because people can't enunciate it properly, it's neither person's fault but just something you live with when you have an unusual name/pronunciation.

Running...I like gypsydangers suggestion too! I'm sure you can agree a surviving Christmas strategy. ..unless he insists on being obviously pompous, saying Anais name more often than necessary, etc, in which case the traditional Boxing Day row is ready made! Still wondering which direction ours will hit from this year. I seriously hope he reels his neck in, and you have a peaceful and pleasant Christmas :)

Never heard of Ah-nay-ess..she will have a lifetime of teachers etc calling her A-nay (tis French, that's how it's pronounced?)

Is there a reason you pronounce it in an unusual way?

Regardless. Your choice. He should respect that. End of.

Also it's not umlaut in those cases it's a daerises

Thank you - I can accept that. I never go past "O" level French and only encountered grave, acute and circumflex.

If you choose an unusual name and want it to be pronounced in a non standard way (even for that name), I'm tended to think you should choose a spelling that reflects your intended pronunciation, ie, Anahees.

I say poo-uh

The name is pronouced An-eye-eese, this is the correct pronunciation, not Anay, not Ann-ess etc etc

It's one thing calling a child a difficult to pronounce name (which is fine) but at least know how to pronounce it properly yourself.
My mum once met a child called Gooey, by his parents, yes a little odd she thought but maybe it's foreign. Finally saw it written down... child was called Guy. Parents couldn't pronounce the name they'd chosen.

Pronounce it An-eye-eese, as it should be, and tell everyone else they need to do the samez

StarUtopia

The French pronunciation of this name is An-eye-eese.

Never heard of poouh

Oo makes an ooooo sound

My mum once met a child called Gooey, by his parents, yes a little odd she thought but maybe it's foreign. Finally saw it written down... child was called Guy. Parents couldn't pronounce the name they'd chosen.

Lol at Gooey.

I knew someone with a daughter called Lois. He and his wife pronounced it Lewis.

Doesn't make "pore" sound either, then, does it?

Say it aloud and listen to yourself carefully. Unless you are Scottish you will most probably NOT say "poooor"

I knew someone with a daughter called Lois. He and his wife pronounced it Lewis

I think there's a Lois on MN who's name is often pronounced Lewis, too (think I can recall working it out from a clue in her post (possibly incorrectly).

Correct (French) pronunciation of Anais is An-aye-ees.

Spot the people who haven't RTFT.

I agree with you on the name but I'm with your dad in the surname choice!

I know a lady called Lois. Prn Loys. Like Lloyd but s instead of d. V odd.

Is there such a thing as correct pronunciation though? Surely words change with usage. Anyway, Anaïs is either Catalan or Persian not from France just common there. Ours is after an American singer Anaïs Mitchell so we use the American Pronunciation. My DDs Italian music teacher says it 'Ay-Nus' which is pretty bad!

It's Anne eye ees

My DDs Italian music teacher says it 'Ay-Nus' which is pretty bad!

That is just a wee bit too close to anus for my liking. Do you correct her?

I knew a German girl called Anais pronounced the way you pronounce it. I automatically say it your way because of that. You're not unreasonable to want it said the way you intended!

It's pronounced An-na-ees, as in Anais Nin, famous French writer. It's a beautiful name, I love it. You're Dad is being a dick, ignore him as he's getting the attention he craves, but you are also pronouncing it incorrectly.

I love the name Anaïs, and really,once you've heard it once it is so simple to pronounce correctly. I think your dad is just bring a dick, OP. I would call him on it each and every time.

Should have given her a good Irish name like Sadhbh or Meadhbh, see how he pronounced one of those!

I know a lady called Lois. Prn Loys. Like Lloyd but s instead of d. V odd

In Welsh it is pronounced Loys.

I accept that in some accents 'poor' is pronounced 'pore'. the same as sure is pronounce 'shore'. but in RP and other accents it is the diphthong ʊə̯ which is oo-uh roughly speaking. lure is another word that uses it.

Annais is a beautiful name and I can see why he'd make the mistake of mispronouncing it - ONCE. Once corrected, he should make a flipping effort. My name is Justine, which is neither difficult or remarkable, but growing up I was questioned about it by adults all the bloody time ("Don't you mean Christine/Janine/Joanne? Isn't Justin a boy's name?") and now I hate it.
Annais is an exotic, mysterious name that seems artistic and a little bit wild. Tell him to embrace it or start calling him "Dard" or "Fawther".

Do you like Anna or Anne? Could be short for Anna-eece (French way to pronounce, the accent on the i means that the i is pronounced) and easier for an English native speaker.