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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

602 replies

runningaftermydreams · 19/12/2016 19:09

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

OP posts:
Empress13 · 20/12/2016 00:04

Your pronunciation of it is odd OP doesn't flow at all. God help your daughter

GreatFuckability · 20/12/2016 00:19

SHE IS SAYING IT RIGHT.

Italiangreyhound · 20/12/2016 00:25

I used to be a language teacher, we were taught to model correct speech. Do not say the wrong pronunciation at all, e.g. don't say 'it's not blah blah, it's blah-blah', just say 'Hello little blah-blah you are so gorgeous."

Just say it a lot, eventually he will do it automatically, and if he does not, he will look like the donut."

Also, if he is choosing to do this then he is doing it to get a rise, do not rise to it.

pringlecat · 20/12/2016 00:25

Anaïs is a really common name. In France. I think it's a nice name, but I do think you've both chosen to pronounce it wrong. Because you have.

It's Ah-nah-eece not Ah-nah-ess. The tréma breaks up the a and i vowel sounds. I think part of the confusion here is that we pronounce i in French like we do e in English.

It's not too late to change the way you all pronounce her name so you all say it right... That would be my suggestion.

DonaldStott · 20/12/2016 00:26

She is saying it right and its a pretty easy name to anounce. But I do watch the amazing world of gumball and his sister is called this, otherwise I I would have pronounced it a-nay-is rather than an-i-eese. I love that name btw op.

Pluto30 · 20/12/2016 00:31

If I'd named my DC something that people debated the pronunciation of for 10 pages (and counting), I'd change the name.

ageingrunner · 20/12/2016 00:37

It's difficult for non French speakers to pronounce, and tbh probably doesn't sound particularly nice in an English accent. I think I would avoid it. Maybe change her name.

TheProblemOfSusan · 20/12/2016 00:40

Adding to all the people saying it's a three syllable French name - An-eye-is - and a particularly beautiful one at that.

Lorelei76 · 20/12/2016 00:49

Oh why change such a lovely name?
People pronounce my name in different ways but the thing is they should go with what they are told if they can actually say it right
Plus it sounds like your dad has put an extra na in which confuses me.

If he contradicts you when you say it he's being an arse.

Cherrysoup · 20/12/2016 00:53

I don't think the point is how it should be pronounced, more like how the OP wants it pronounced. Her baby, her choice, although there will be issues at school when no-one can understand how to say it.

OneADayAndThenWhat · 20/12/2016 00:57

OP, it sounds like you Dad is irritating but are you sure it's worth everyone getting angry and upset over this.

Your Dad Is being a tosser and won't stop being a tosser even if he says your DDs name correctly so why not just decide to not care about it. It actually doesn't matter and it really won't confuse your DD.

Some people love a good fight but some things can be ignored.

FireSquirrel · 20/12/2016 01:05

Your Dad is being a bit of a twat by not even attempting to pronounce it properly, but given that you yourself have also chosen to pronounce it completely differently from either of the two common pronunciations of that name, you need to accept that you're going to spend the rest of your life correcting the way people say it.

Lynnm63 · 20/12/2016 01:15

Your dad is being a dick. I was going to suggest he choose a nickname you can live with but you've offered him Anna and he's refused. if he's still doing it when she's old enough to notice you could say 'grandad is getting old and he finds some words very hard to remember' whilst muttering twat under your breath.

RobinHumphries · 20/12/2016 01:24

Poor, pore, pour and paw all sound the same when I saw them.

TheFlyingFauxPas · 20/12/2016 01:28

Mum used to call the perfume Anus Anus Grin

britbat23 · 20/12/2016 01:47

I don't envy the OP. Either she backs down and loses face, or she spends the next 15 years or so correcting everyone's perfectly correct pronunciation of her daughter's name.

Some people live to make life difficult for themselves...

Italiangreyhound · 20/12/2016 02:40

britbat23 she won't need to spend 15 years correcting "everyone's pronunciation". She might correct her dad's. But I think once her dad gets used to hearing it, he will get the hang of it.

My daughter's name is quite hard to pronounce but I never imagined it would be, but it is fine now. Eventually you end up with most people in your life knowing how to pronounce your name. It's just a thing. Smile

SpareASquare · 20/12/2016 02:45

If I'd named my DC something that people debated the pronunciation of for 10 pages (and counting), I'd change the name.

OMG! This made me laugh because I was thinking the exact same thing as I was reading (in disbelief) through the whole pronunciation debate. So not worth it because this really is reflective of what her life will be spent doing!

Italiangreyhound · 20/12/2016 02:56

It's not reflective of anything because we are typing and reading and not speaking! She will not go up to people and type her name out, she will say it, they will hear it!

To suggest to the OP that because a bunch of random people on mumsnet can't pronounce a French name that the rest of the world won't be able to is daft, or as i like to pronounce it DEift!

Pluto30 · 20/12/2016 03:02

It's not reflective of anything because we are typing and reading and not speaking! She will not go up to people and type her name out, she will say it, they will hear it!

It is though.

The brand Aden and Anais gets mispronounced by people constantly. This child will have to endure people calling her name out and pronouncing it incorrectly. There's nothing intuitive to native English speakers about the pronunciation/spelling of Anais. If I didn't already know how it was pronounced, I'd guess it was either Ann-ace or Ann-ice (even with the accent on the 'i'). Even now, knowing the pronunciation, I still have to be conscious of it when I say it because it's so non-intuitive to me.

periwinklepickspoppies · 20/12/2016 03:24

If it's French then where does the umlaut come from? I thought that was German?

Out2pasture · 20/12/2016 03:46

You know op, people calling her similar but slightly different names won't confuse her. Most small children can't pronounce their own name for a long while so no worries. Get over it and leave your dad alone, he might get the hang of it or not. Really not an issue to get grey hairs about.
I would pronounce the name A-Neice like the relative or cooking spice.

SelfCleaningVagina · 20/12/2016 03:46

ah-nah-ess?

Clearly he know so there no excuse, but I'd pronounce that A-nay, like the 1980s perfume. Pretty name.

anais is usually pronounced anay like the perfume

Never heard of ah nay ess

NO NO NO!!!!

The OP' pronunciation of the name is the CORRECT one. There was a famous Author called Anais Nin and she pronounced it An-ah-ees as well. It's a French name.

The perfume was pronounced An-ah-ees An-ah-ees as well. I distinctly remember the advert for it. The people who insisted then and now on calling it Anay Anay are wrong.

SelfCleaningVagina · 20/12/2016 03:48

I don't envy the OP. Either she backs down and loses face, or she spends the next 15 years or so correcting everyone's perfectly correct pronunciation of her daughter's name.

Some people live to make life difficult for themselves...

You are wrong.

SelfCleaningVagina · 20/12/2016 03:52

I think it's easier to explain it as sounding like Ann- eye- ees rather than An- nah- ees though. And the last syllable should be to rhyme with niece not bees.