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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

602 replies

runningaftermydreams · 19/12/2016 19:09

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

OP posts:
Reality16 · 21/12/2016 16:40

My sister is leah (lee ah) her mil insists on saying lay ah. It winds her up and she has mentioned it many times but her mil can't hear the difference apparently

Lovewineandchocs · 21/12/2016 17:06

slaughter yes it's seer-sha. Sorcha is a different Irish name altogether-pronounced Soar-ka. Sorry about our complicated spellings 😀-my cousin's kids are called Caoilfionn (pronounced Kay-linn) and Meabh (pronounced Mayve). My friend Sinead lived in London for a year or so and used to provide a daily FB update of how wrong Starbucks had got her name on her takeaway coffee cup Grin

Alabastard · 21/12/2016 17:19

love Caoilfionn was my second choice for DD!

rockcake · 21/12/2016 17:28

Are we Brits that pig-headed? Is there a commonplace inability to pronounce anything remotely "foreign"? News to me ....

ChocoChou · 21/12/2016 17:34

Hi to the Irish contingent... I used to teach a young lady who pronounced her name sor-sha. I can't remember how it was spelt though, I thought it was Sorcha but seems that's got a different pronunciation.
Anyone know how you would spell sor-sha? I really like it, and she was a lovely girl too. Xmas Smile

Lovewineandchocs · 21/12/2016 17:37

Hi choco, I think the name Sorcha can be pronounced Sor-ka or Sor-sha. I have mostly heard Sor-ka but know one or two people who pronounce it the other way.

Lovewineandchocs · 21/12/2016 17:41

ala I think it's a lovely name. I think she can look forward to all sorts of weird and wonderful spellings and pronunciations throughout her life though-joys of being Irish eh? Grin

HalfShellHero · 21/12/2016 17:41

I thought anais was pronounced (an - niiii)

Eolian · 21/12/2016 17:45

Yes I think as a nation we are a bit pig-headed about foreign languages. I am an MFL teacher, so I have a reasonable amount of experience of this. Oh and I didn't mean that it's easy to just know how to pronounce the name on first sight. I meant that once you've been told how it's pronounced the sounds aren't difficult to say because they are sounds that are perfectly common in English.

MikeUniformMike · 21/12/2016 17:49

Lovewine, I thought it was Caoilfhionn and pronounced Kee-lyn. I'm not irish.
Maebh is quite nice

Lovewineandchocs · 21/12/2016 18:03

mike there are a few different spellings tbh I haven't seen it with the other 'h' but am not surprised. Kay Lin is the usual pronunciation but you will always get variants. I also know people called Caolann (Kaylan) and Caoilinn (Keelin).

Bunnyfuller · 21/12/2016 18:05

I work in public services and see the hideous inability to pronounce foreign names as an everyday occurrence from the frontline staff. I have a very long foreign surname and at lower school the teachers not only could not say it, they didn't even spell it correctly on her report documentation. In yr 2/3 they said 'bunny - your daughter can't yet spell her surname' I responded with 'perhaps if everyone didn't refer to her as DD 'capital letter' she might stand a chance. I just had a sales call where I was referred to as Mrs (first name) as the person decided my surname was too hard. Literally a handful of people try to say it properly (bizarrely Brits like adding extra letters which aren't there - because everyone from anywhere vaguely near Russia must have 'ski' at the end of their name, right?!'

DeepanKrispanEven · 21/12/2016 18:19

It is very difficult to pronounce if you don't know what a daerisis does to a word. And why would an English speaker know that?

But surely it's not difficult if you've been told how it's pronounced and heard it pronounced that way several times?

MikeUniformMike · 21/12/2016 18:22

I'm not very good with Irish or gaelic spellings. But I learnt a couple of new names. Used to live next door to a Niall and his Irish parents. I'm sure they said it Nye-ll, but I've heard others say Nile and Neil for the same name.

Eilidh is a pretty sounding name, but it's not obvious how to say it. I would guess it to be Aylee but I think it is probably Ayla.

rockcake · 21/12/2016 18:36

Bunny, I take your point, but if your daughter couldn't spell her surname in Y2, you can't blame that on the school. Schools always refer to kids with long names in brief; Calling her dd K (or whatever the letter is) is irrelevant. Children don't learn to spell their names when they hear others saying that name in full, they learn to spell when they're taught properly, which is partly the school's responsibility, and partly the parents'. As you're so conscious of the commonplace inability, surely you should have made sure your dd had mastered correct spelling of her name long before Y2?!

ThanksForAllTheFish · 21/12/2016 22:16

MikeUniformMike Eilidh is pronounced A(as in capital letter sound) - lAy. But I know the regional accents can change it to sound more like A-lee. In fact if you can pronounce ceilidh (as in a Scottish dance) it sounds similar. Just drop the k sound at the beginning.

BravoPanda · 21/12/2016 22:34

Why do so many people think it's pronouned 'Ah-nay'?

It's pronounced 'An-aye-eece' Hmm

If we have another child and it's a girl it's the name we've chosen too OP.

People of your Dad's age were the generation that though Anais Anais perfume was 'Ah-nay Ah-nay' Grin

BravoPanda · 21/12/2016 22:40

Bertrand don't you ever say the word naïve?

It's the same bloody thing. The ignorance on here is astounding.

Buttercupsandaisies · 21/12/2016 22:43

I honestly think because pronunciation aside Anay or anace sound much nicer and more 'like a real name' than an eye ees

Graceflorrick · 21/12/2016 22:44

I'd pronounce that A-nay, like the 1980s perfume.

Me too

Mindtrope · 21/12/2016 22:49

bravo- " the ignorance here is astounding"

But it simply illustrates the world at large. The actual pronunciation is always going to be an issue with such a name.

It matters not a jot if one poster is proven correct on this thread- the truth is that this will be played out thousands of times over the course of this child's life.
She will hear her name mispronounced and it will be wrongly spelled on a daily basis.

Not a trouble I would willingly give to a child.

Wheelerdeeler · 21/12/2016 22:53

My criteria for choosing a name for my child

Can you say it

Can you spell it

Baffles me why people saddle their children with names that people can't say or spell

Mindtrope · 21/12/2016 22:54

Exactly wheeler.

Mindtrope · 21/12/2016 22:58

In fact I see it as an unnecessary burden.

You can't educate the whole world. It is just cumbersome.

rockcake · 21/12/2016 22:59

Here here

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