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Original poster

Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

602 replies

runningaftermydreams · 19/12/2016 19:09

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

OP posts:
RainbowDashian · 21/12/2016 01:27

Haven't read the whole thread but when I pronounce it the way op says it sounds like "an arse". It seems an unusual way to say it and I think almost everyone will say it incorrectly.

GreatFuckability · 21/12/2016 02:44

In what word would english drop an s off the end of a word buttercup??!? That makes no sense to describe that as 'english phonetics'. There is no such thing as 'english phonetics' anyway.
And rainbow I suggest you do read the full thread. Or at least any of the numerous times it has been explained the OP just wrote what she meant phonetically, incorrectly.

jeeperdoo · 21/12/2016 02:56

Almost sounds like your dad is purposefully mispronouncing it precisely because he knows it bothers you. Sort of like a bit of mild, real-life internet trolling, ha! Only saying something to get a rise out of you. If this is the case, then maybe your best bet is to not "feed" him by letting him know it bugs you. Just ignore it and let him make a fool of himself, or hope he eventually tires of it when he sees it's not having the desired effect. If you can find a way to turn it into something that actually amuses you, all the better. Trolls hate that.

RueDeDay · 21/12/2016 03:02

I second the call to 'mispronounce' your Dad's name on purpose, and suggest 'Dud' as a possibility.

I have an incorrect unusual pronunciation of an unusual name, so everyone gets it wrong (thanks, Mum and Dad). Most of the time I let it go, but if I'm going to be working or otherwise in contact with someone for a while I stress the point. It is, after all, my name so however I pronounce it is right for me. It's amazing how people can get pissed off at you for wanting your own name pronounced correctly, and yet get even more pissed off when you start calling them 'Brudget' instead of Bridget Grin

Moomichi · 21/12/2016 06:54

Mee-ah
She said 'may-ah, my-yah, I don't know how to pronounce these complicated names!'

DeepanKrispanEven · 21/12/2016 07:41

Buttercup, my point was that we pronounce Michelle the same way the French do; if we were using purely English pronunciation we would say something close to Mitchell. It was in response to your suggestion that it was illogical to pronounce Anaïs the same was the French do. To take another example, I don't think anyone has any problem with pronouncing Jurgen as "Your-ghen" whereas, using English phonetics, it should be Jer-jen.

There simply is no logical reason why you shouldn't pronounce a French name the French way; and if we were applying purely English pronunciation to the word it would be annace, not annay anyway.

DeepanKrispanEven · 21/12/2016 07:43

I also don't get why you say that phonetically the word doesn't read that way in English. It has a diaeresis, so you have to split the a and the i sound. We don't have any problem in saying "naïve" in English, after all.

Headofthehive55 · 21/12/2016 07:59

I don't think it's that unusual for some people not to be able to get their tongue round it. Every time you see it written down it re sets the brain wrongly! Some people can pronounce sounds from other languages much better than others - hence some people are ok with learning languages and others aren't.
I know someone with a Welsh name. I can say it immediately after she says it, but then I see her name on FB and it confuses me again. I just avoid saying her name!

embo1 · 21/12/2016 08:02

It's Hyacinth, not Cynthia!

BertrandRussell · 21/12/2016 08:08

We actually rejected some names we liked because of how they would sound when some members of the family said them- we loved Constance, but didn't like the sound of Connie in a Yorkshire accent. And fil, who had a strong Cork accent would never have managed Cynthia......

mikado1 · 21/12/2016 09:13

embo perhaps it's hyacinth but pronounced Cynthia!Grin

user1480946351 · 21/12/2016 09:26

It is, after all, my name so however I pronounce it is right for me. It's amazing how people can get pissed off at you for wanting your own name pronounced correctly

Well, yes and no. If it is, as you say, incorrect from the start, what you want is your name pronounced incorrectly to make it fit the initial mistake. And people should do that, but you can't blame them for getting it "wrong", when your parents did that first.
Also it depends how wrong they got it. If your name is Sarah but you insist on pronouncing it Bob......Wink

roundaboutthetown · 21/12/2016 09:41

Personally, I would have changed my mind about the name by now. A name commonly mispronounced as Aneigh or Anarse is not a name I would want to inflict on my child. Better to find a name that can be mispronounced to less unfortunate effect!

BWatchWatcher · 21/12/2016 10:01

Comes out from the corner briefly, chuckles
Returns to corner.

ThanksForAllTheFish · 21/12/2016 10:15

I would pronounce it Ah-niece or at a push Anna-ss but not A-neigh.

Your dad is being a dick.

Saying that my gran couldn't cope with my daughters name (Eloise) so just called her Louise. She was the only one that got away with it because she was 96 when DD was born and just couldn't pronounce the name at all.

roundaboutthetown · 21/12/2016 10:44

So now we have Anarse, Anass and Aneigh. And whatever the grandfather has made up for himself.

erchissick · 21/12/2016 16:14

It's does not matter one jot how anyone else woulda/shoulda/coulda pronounced it. All that matters, is it's pronounced how her mother and father want it pronounced. And if the op's parents/dad can't do that, then they need reminding each time they do it wrong, or you visit less.

Bunnyfuller · 21/12/2016 16:17

Not read the whole thread (yet) but you did agree on the name together before birth, right? Not seeing how/why he's changed his mind?

Reality16 · 21/12/2016 16:22

Not read the whole thread (yet) but you did agree on the name together before birth, right? Not seeing how/why he's changed his mind? it's one thing not reading the full thread, but to not even read the OP properly?

It's the OP dad who is not pronouncing his grandchilds name.

LapinR0se · 21/12/2016 16:22

Ah nigh ees

TrinityForce · 21/12/2016 16:22

how to pronounce Anais

Bunnyfuller · 21/12/2016 16:23

Aaaahhh, I read it as the baby's Daddy, not yours! Parents can be judgey arses, even more so after children. I would front him and ask 'are you deliberately being rude to me? Then why are you doing this, you surely don't think it's fair to attempt to force someone to call their baby something other than their name?'

Saying that, knowing Brits and the commonplace inability to pronounce anything 'foreign', you've set her up for a struggle I'm afraid. Your dad (who shouldn't be doing this) is only the first in a long line to come :-/

Eolian · 21/12/2016 16:24

It's not even difficult to pronounce ffs! It doesn't contain any sounds that don't exist in English. 'Anna' 'eess'. How is that difficult? Some British people are just wilfully pigheaded about claiming to be unable to say anything that sounds even a teensy bit un-English. And, as previous posters have pointed out, the name has been around for a long time in the UK since the perfume was popular (even if some people couldn't pronounce that correctly either!).

BertrandRussell · 21/12/2016 16:30

It is very difficult to pronounce if you don't know what a daerisis does to a word. And why would an English speaker know that?

Primaryteach87 · 21/12/2016 16:31

To the previous posters who keep saying "oh it will be mispronounced at school anyway" type comments. I should really hope it won't. We were told as trainee teachers ten years ago that it was the height of disrespectuful to mispronounce a name. I would always check and make an effort to learn if I found it tricky.

The OP's dad isn't making a mistake or saying 'oops sorry, remind me again'. He is actively choosing to ignore her. That's so bizarre and rude.

Besides, how the op suggested is how the two girls I've taught with that name pronounced it...