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Original poster

Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

602 replies

runningaftermydreams · 19/12/2016 19:09

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

OP posts:
1horatio · 21/12/2016 23:05

wheeler

So true. But try finding a name that works in English, German and Italian. And that (preferably, but not a must) the French speaking part of my extended family can pronounce as well... 🙈🙈

user1480946351 · 21/12/2016 23:06

It's does not matter one jot how anyone else woulda/shoulda/coulda pronounced it. All that matters, is it's pronounced how her mother and father want it pronounced

Rubbish. You can't just decide on a pronunciation and expect everyone else to match it, unless that actually is the (or a, at least) way to say it, in some recognisable language.
Letters and combinations of letters make certain sounds, and you can't just decide otherwise.

BroomstickOfLove · 21/12/2016 23:07

It honestly wouldn't have occurred to me that it was a name people found difficult to spell or say. It's more straightforward than Chloe or Caitlin or Catherine or Claire or Isabelle and people get called those names all the time.

user1480946351 · 21/12/2016 23:10

It honestly wouldn't have occurred to me that it was a name people found difficult to spell or say. It's more straightforward than Chloe or Caitlin or Catherine or Claire or Isabelle and people get called those names all the time

Come off it. You think Anais (with diaresis) is easier than Catherine? You cannot be serious.

BroomstickOfLove · 21/12/2016 23:15

"Can I take your details? What's your first name?"

"Catherine"

"Is that with a C or a K?"
"And does it have a 'yn' or an 'ine' at the end?"

BroomstickOfLove · 21/12/2016 23:19

The Ann(e)s, Cla(i)r(e)s, Eliz/sabeths, Eli/eanors and Iso/abel(le)s I know get their names spelled wrong all the time.

Buttercupsandaisies · 21/12/2016 23:29

But all of those different spellings are said the same regardless -so no comparison really

BroomstickOfLove · 21/12/2016 23:39

But those names all fail the spellability test mentioned by Mindtrope and Wheelerdealer. Whereas Anaïs has one standard pronunciation and one standard spelling (if you aren't fussy about the i) which was broadcast for many years in perfume ads.

Kerberos · 21/12/2016 23:47

"The Wheeler-Mindtrope Baby Name Test"(tm). You heard it here first...

scaredoffallout · 22/12/2016 00:02

OP I am very late to this thread and have not read all of it. Just wanted to say that I have always known Anaïs as Ah-na-ees. See end of French perfume ad where they say Ah-na-ees.

Given that it's a French (and beautiful) name, why was it ever pronounced Ahn-ay by the British Confused?

BertrandRussell · 22/12/2016 00:03

. "Whereas Anaïs has one standard pronunciation and one standard spelling (if you aren't fussy about the i) which was broadcast for many years in perfume ads."

But which is wrong.

1horatio · 22/12/2016 00:04

Broomstick
But Anaïs has more than one pronunciation?

BertrandRussell · 22/12/2016 00:07

No it doesn't. It has a pronunciation. And lots of wrong pronunciations.

1horatio · 22/12/2016 00:09

Russel

Of course it does.

French and Catalan.

1horatio · 22/12/2016 00:10

I mean:

The French and the Catalan pronunciation.

ThanksForAllTheFish · 22/12/2016 00:20

user I have heard Catherine pronounced: Cath-reen, Cath-Rhine, Cath-Eh-Rhine, Cath-Eh-reen and Cath-lean.

My friend called Catherine pronounces her name Cath-Rhine but know a couple of others with the above variations.

Mindtrope · 22/12/2016 06:42

Yes, and you bear that in mind when calling a kid Catherine, or Eilidh or Caitlin. or Jayceon..

I would suggest there much less difficulty with some names than with others though.
I chose easy names for my kids with no ambiguity.

KatharinaRosalie · 22/12/2016 06:59

You can't educate the whole world - what is the magical name that is spelled and pronounced exactly the same in the whole world and you never need to educate anybody?

Artandco · 22/12/2016 07:10

Our girls name that we didn't use as boys was Nora. I think that's virtually impossible to say alternatively and works in most mainstream languages

Mindtrope · 22/12/2016 07:13

There is no "magical name", some are easier than others, that's all, some are hard, some easy, some in a grey area.
It depends how often you can be arsed with clarification. If you call a child Robert he is likely to be asked the spelling of that name once every 5 years.
Call a child Eilidh and she is likely to be asked the spelling on a daily basis.

It's just a pain in the arse for the child, that's all.

AuntJane · 22/12/2016 07:54

There is no magic name.

Jane - is that with a y?

LizzyButton · 22/12/2016 08:11

I know someone with this name who says is more Anne-Eye-Eece.

I have minor issues when my mum's family "Balkanise" my daughter's name, but tend to roll with it.

StrawberryandCreamPips · 22/12/2016 08:21

As a bicultural family we have lots of experience of this and have learnt not to take it to heart too much. DD1 is the only family member who routinely gets her name spelt and pronounced right whichever home country we're in and by all extended family members, school, in official settings, etc. etc. Rest of us get various pronunciations and spellings (some understandable, some plain out-there), even though none of us has an 'unusual' name as such. DD2's name is spelt differently in different parts of Europe anyway and all the variants are used everywhere so it's only to be expected.

I think the issue here is whether people are intentionally mispronouncing/spelling to be disrespectful or wind you up, or because they genuinely can't remember or don't have the cultural references to know better.

We just laugh about any howlers.

user1480946351 · 22/12/2016 08:22

No it doesn't. It has a pronunciation. And lots of wrong pronunciations

But according to some on this thread, it doesn't matter if the parents got it right or not, whatever they say is now the "correct pronunciation". So if the parents say Anais is said as An- arse or An-nay or Bob, well then thats how it is and everyone else is rude and ignorant for not saying it that way too.

Floggingmolly · 22/12/2016 08:28

Nora can also be spelt Norah, Art... It's pronounced the same, granted.