Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

[runningaftermydreams]

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

I love the name Anaïs, and I know how to pronounce it too.

My mum drove me mad when I named my dd Phoebe, and she kept writing Phœbe.

Choosing a name like that (which is pretty) and living in England you are unfortunately just going to have to get used to people saying it all different ways as it's uncommon - but obviously your father should learn it properly!

Surely the point is, you chose the name, you choose how to pronounce it. l had a friend at school who was called Karen (Kar-ren) but my mam always insisted on calling her "Kair-ren."
Anais is a very pretty name, very unusual!

A bit like Cynthia Bucket... or anyone with the surname St John...

The umlaut (the two little dots) change the pronunciation. We have an Anais in our family (can't do the umlaut) and she is called An-eye-ees. Recently met another little girl with the same name but her mother pronounces it Ann-ayse. The writer Anais Nin is pronounced An-eye-ees. The old Cacharel tv commercial had it as 'Anna-ess' I seem to recall. Whatever, if it's got the umlaut then it's definitely not Ann-ay.

Don't forget old people often can't hear well, and thus struggle with difficult pronoun inaction.

It really isn't an issue. I'd just ignore him and I'm sure he will get bored with it. Most children I know don't get called their given names anyway!

My dad used to get one of my niece's names a bit scrambled, so we put it like that in his obituary.

Yep, the name has to have three syllables. That's what the two dots over the I indicate - it's a separate syllable not connected to the A before it.

Anaïs isn't the easiest name to pronounce, compared to, say, Ann or Anna. Could your DF call her Annie or something similar as a compromise.
It is pretty though.
It is popular enough for people to get the pronunciation right, even if they need to be corrected the first time.
You could probably do with choosing a nn as it's quite long at 3 syllables.

insisted on calling her "Kair-ren."

I used to know a Kair-ren - she started life as Kar-ren, decided she wanted something more exotic, so told everybody she was Kair-ren (when she wrote it, she added a circumflex accent over the "a" - described it as a "hat").

Each to his own, I suppose . . . (I'm all for simplification rather than complexity, myself)

Quite a few names used to have a diaeresis, as I think the two dots are called. Chloë - letting you know not to pronounce it Clo, for example. And there's Eloïse, Zoë and Noël. But they don't have them any more because we know how to pronounce them, and the marks really just serve as a decoration on names like these.

When he pronounces it wrongly, just gently say it correctly, smile and move on. Don't make a bigger deal than that. He'll get fed up eventually.

Surely the point is, you chose the name, you choose how to pronounce it

Really? Surely you choose the name you like (and its pronunciation is a big part of it!). I know there are some names that have different pronunciations e.g. Alicia above, also Marie but Karen is Karen! If you want your child to be e.g. Kairen then spell it like that. (Not talking about you OP!)

Daisypond, the diaeresis is still there but people don't always use them. If someone has a kid and they choose to pronounce it Nole or Zo, they wouldn't use the diaeresis.
I have a diaeresis in my name - it's not disappeared.

This is about dominance. nothing to so with "a name"
You can cut to the quick, (if you choose that battle). If not you just say to your DC, Grandpa is a Dick....(this could be the way you present it to him),
or, you could choose to think of it a quirky fond bumbling old man behaviour, (& this too could be a way of presenting it to hm)
or you can say, "if you want to be an abusive Dick, that's fine, I'm out of here, ...
You choose

Your Dad is being a dick, but you have chosen an unusual pronunciation of that name which I've never heard before. Why don't you just ask your Dad to call her by a nickname, say Anna, then it can just be what he calls her, and won't sound like he's fucking up her name deliberately.

OP has confirmed that she uses the pronunciation like in the French links people provided.

And this really is the normal, regular, correct etc way to pronounce the name Anaïs. Saying it "Anay" is like calling your DD Héloïse but claiming that in English this should be Elay, or something.

Besides that, DDad does not even use the 'English' version but something he personally made up

Loving all the posters saying it's not a name (I'm sure those with the name would beg to differ), op is pronouncing it wrong (she's confirmed she just didn't know how to write it out phonetically and is using the French pronunciatuon) and stating without a matter of a doubt it's pronounced a-nay in French

Annoying situation with your dad op. I'd be annoyed too but would also say to pick your battles. If he insists on his incorrect pronunciation when everyone else is saying it right, he's going to look like an idiot in the end - or maybe your dd will have funny stories to tell about her grandad and his unusual names for her! I doubt it'll confuse her in the long run and could end up being a bit of an endearing trait for your dad if you can get over his sheer bloody mindedness and stubbornness right now.

My cousins daughter has the same name. It is pronounced An-nay. Your DD will go through life having to pronounce her name if you choose to pronounce it your way, which is obviously up to you, but I have to question why you would do that? Your Dad will get used to calling her the name you choose, he sounds like he is being a typical dad to me!

Dhs Nan and grandad struggled with my middle child. Her name is Mia!!

Me ah or my ah ? I never know when I see it written down

user

As somebody that actually speaks French... nope, it is not pronounced An-nay.

I mean, do what makes you happy. But don't claim that's the correct French pronunciation...

The OP isn't pronouncing it in the French way though.

I think there must be something wrong with some people's hearing.

The last syllable should rhyme with geese. The OP has said she's pronouncing it to rhyme with yes.

The dad is also saying it wrong but the OP needs to get her pronunciation right if she wants to properly occupy the moral high ground.

Im not sure why a poster thinks the OP is pronouncing it properly. She clearly isn't if you listen to the recent links for the adverts.

It definitely has an ee sound at the end . Like in geese as a pp said. The OP has said ess which is incorrect.

The OP also listened to a link and said she pronounces it this way.