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Original poster

Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

602 replies

runningaftermydreams · 19/12/2016 19:09

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

OP posts:
gemkat · 20/12/2016 18:01

Lovely name I know it as we had a family friend who was called Anais when I was wee.

Dad's can be super stubborn. ....
I have 2 older sisters my big sister was called beth when she was born . My dad then changed his mind like weeks later and said she should be called Kate .my mum agreed with kathrine elizabeth but said no to kate as her main name and he has subornly her as Kate for her whole life .when people call her beth (as everyone else Does!!) He would just carry on referring to her as Kate. It was totally mental folk thought I had 3 sisters .

Clairaloulou · 20/12/2016 18:01

Ah-nay is actually a mispronunciation. It is a French name, and the perfume is meant to be pronounced ah-nay-ees ah-nay-ees.

Miserylovescompany2 · 20/12/2016 18:05

What a beautiful name you've given your daughter OP. Yes, as others have already suggested start calling him by a different name...see how that goes down?

I have the same problem with my daughter, everyone reads her name and start calling her Isla? Her name is Ayla, which I pronounce A'la...

Bitlost · 20/12/2016 18:12

Op, this is the correct pronunciation and is a lovely name.

1horatio · 20/12/2016 18:15

The OP is pronouncing it correctly.

She listened to a link on forvo of French and Spanish people pronouncing it and she said she pronounces it like the Spanish dude...

Headofthehive55 · 20/12/2016 18:15

I loved the perfume but for the life of me couldn't ever learn to say it!
I know of one girl who changed her name as it was so often mispronounced. Could you adopt a nickname that becomes acceptable to you and he could say? He might find the pronoun citation difficult but doesn't want to say.

MikeUniformMike · 20/12/2016 18:16

ThingMcThingface. Not necessarily.Usually they are on the second vowel but may be on a first vowel or a single vowel.

Anais (diaeresis on the I) is pronounced Anna-ees like in the advert. A bit of a shock after we;d called the scent Anay Anay for years.

KittyB52 · 20/12/2016 18:16

I love the name Anais but would not be keen on having to correct people on pronunciation all the time.

This is how its pronounced on The Amazing World of Gumball. Grin

Catsize · 20/12/2016 18:16

It's French - "An-eye-eese' (like geese). With the emphasis on the last of the three syllables. One of my favourite names.

Pollyanna9 · 20/12/2016 18:18

Cacharel who make the perfume, YouTube clip and they definitely say an-i-ees an-i-ees - from the horses mouth so to speak.

BroomstickOfLove · 20/12/2016 18:19

Do people really pronounce it Annay? Even with the ï? I would always pronounce it Ann-eye-eese/ Anna-eese, unless the name-owner pronounced it differently. And, tbh, I would be a teeny bit judgy if they pronounced it Annay.

roundaboutthetown · 20/12/2016 18:20

Ps, horatio1 - going back to an earlier comment of yours, fillet is an English word pronounced fillett. So it would be mispronouncing it to say, "fillay." Mutton and beef could be viewed as mispronunciations and misunderstandings of the words, "mouton," and "boeuf," but likewise, this is a wrong understanding - they may be words originating from the French, but they are now 100% English words with English meanings and English pronunciation. Think also of lieutenant - you would be utterly wrong to call an English lieutenant a lieutenant using the French or US pronunciation, as in English, he is a lef-tennant...

desertgirl · 20/12/2016 18:24

OP - don't worry about it too much; she isn't going to be confused, she will know what her name is :)

My grandfather didn't like my name and never called me it, always a not-very-obvious derivative (like Peggy for Margaret); just meant I had a set of people (grandparents' friends) who knew me by a different name.

Whereas my dad called me by a not-very-obvious (and ugly) derivative of an entirely different name, being the one he would have rather I was called. Actually amazing that I know who I am :)

KatharinaRosalie · 20/12/2016 18:29

"people will learn how to pronounce it"
Well, they'll have to, as the parents haven't chosen the ordinary way.

But they have Confused

Catsize · 20/12/2016 18:32

They really haven't katherina

roundaboutthetown · 20/12/2016 18:33

I think it has been quite clearly established that there is no ordinary way of pronouncing Anais in English, because it is not an English name. Grin

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 20/12/2016 18:36

Stop trying to be reasonable, Katharina Grin

Rancid and BWatchWatcher, did you read all of the thread and just miss the relevant bit or did you just feel the need to have a go at the OP without bothering to read all her posts?

1horatio · 20/12/2016 18:40

roundabout

Well, I'll just call that 'English', in this case...

I even like the nn they gave to DD, so, it's all good. (Well, not exactly, MIL and I are... not exactly besties). But they do have good taste in nicknames. So, it's ok ;)

BWatchWatcher · 20/12/2016 18:42

I read the first 4 pages, then it seemed to move on into a discussion about people's bathroom libraries.
I hope this is a sufficient prerequisite for comment, but if not I will go and do some lines and stand in a corner a bit.

Tess123 · 20/12/2016 18:44

If you pick an unusual name, people will mispronounce it. My daughter has an uncommon Irish name, and it's forever being mangled by people's attempts to pronounce it. That's ok. But let's face it, you'd think your Dad would respect you enough to call your daughter by the name you call her.

Allgrownup3 · 20/12/2016 18:46

My daughters name is Anaïs. In English it's pronounced A-ney. In French it's pronounced as Anna- eece.
Your Ddad should pronounce it how you want him too.

GreatFuckability · 20/12/2016 18:48

Bwatch no, its really not sufficient, because it has been established and reiterated about 80 times that the OP is using the standard pronunciation, she just wrote it wrong, phonetically.

1horatio · 20/12/2016 18:55

watcher

Sorry! But we have a few nice libraries, if that makes up for it? 😖😖

BWatchWatcher · 20/12/2016 18:58

Trundles off to the corner, muttering.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 20/12/2016 19:02

It is easily done BWatch. A single post or word can make a big difference sometimes.