Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

[runningaftermydreams]

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

He sounds like a stubborn man who doesn't like change. Ignore. He is highlighting his own ignorance and will soon stop when he realises no one is listening.

I like the suggestion to mispronounce his name and if he complains say 'oh, I thought you said it's ok to mispronounce things.' Or ask him to pass the grahvevee instead of gravy etc. Basically take the piss until he stops. You turn it into something fun then and take the wind out of his sails.

Snort I like the suggestions on this thead that OP should just accept that she has chosen an 'unusual' way to say the name (um, the correct one?) and should accept that the name is Anay like the perfume advert, when a) the ad does not say Anay and b) neither does DDad.

I'm snorting with you Katharine 😂

1horatio - you make it sound so easy, but there are tonnes of technically French words and sayings that have effectively been turned into English sayings, or taken on as English words with English pronunciations. The person who always insists on saying any slightly French-looking word with a French accent is going to be laughed at - as is the person who says, "Paree," instead of, "Paris." The whole point of English is that it is a language that bastardises words and ideas from other languages as it takes them on as its own. With that attitude to language, why the hell would someone be making a huge effort to sound like a French person when trying to pronounce a French name in the middle of a sentence spoken in English? Anais may be a beautiful name, commonly used in France and pronounced in a French accent in France, but it is not going to be pronounced "properly" by very many English people until it becomes an English word with English sounds. An ear attuned to English sounds is not going to be hugely sensitive to sounds rarely used in English, so that is hardly surprising. I don't expect French people to pronounce my name in its English form, either - I expect them to come out with a French version. If there is no equivalent version in the language you are speaking, then expect it to be mangled and have a lifetime of spelling it out to people and explaining it to them. That said, relatives could at least practice it.

Beautiful name. Just wanted to say that my dp struggles to pronounce various words/names if they are new to him. I could quite literally stand in front of him and say a name ten times and he would be unable to pronounce it properly. ( anyone see the Catastrophe episode with baby muireann - he's exactly like that!) maybe your dad is genuinely struggling with it?

My mum once met a child called Gooey, by his parents, yes a little odd she thought but maybe it's foreign. Finally saw it written down... child was called Guy. Parents couldn't pronounce the name they'd chosen.

A) that's an urban legend of the le-a school and b) it is also a foreign name, pronounced ghee in French for example.

People used to lengthen my short boring name to a longer boring name which is not mine IYSWIM. Before I was 2 I was correcting them loudly and telling them what my name is. Yours will do the same and then grandad will look really stupid.

I have lived in my house 18 years my dad still can't pronounce the village correctly, half the letters are silent, I have given up.

But OP is using a non-standard pronunciation.

She really isn't.

What the OP is using is non-standard phonetics.

People are so annoying...just start calling him some random other name and see how he likes it... !

Op - it's annoying. friends often mispronounce my dds name. Conversations tend to go along the line of Friend: Oh how's Maya (may-a)Me: Oh, Maya (my-a) is fine

To be fair, she has it more right than you do.

Actually @user1480946351 Maya is not actually my dd's name - it was just an example of how it is, imo, rude to mispronounce someone's name when you've been corrected. Either pronounciation is fine. Mya is how most mainland Europeans pronounce Maya.

If someone introduced themselves to me as Tanya (pronounced Tarnya) I wouldn't start calling them Tanya (Tan-ya) because there is no 'r'

Obviously the OP oughten't to change her dd's name or its pronunciation, but she should certainly take this thread as a warning of things to come. Her dd has 80 years of this!

It Anaïs pronounced ah-nah-ess

Unless you say the Ess sound very clearly it will come out sounding like "an arse"

Perhaps why he doesnt want to say it.

I don't necessarily think it's wanting to 'bring back the empire'

It happens in all languages, people will butcher sounds that are unfamiliar/not used.
Hardly anyone from India/Pakistan can say my name, as it has a v in t, which they pronounce as a w type sound.
In English, phonetically Anais would be pronounced An-ace or something, so it's not really surprising that some people will get it wrong.
Purposefully ignoring the correct pronunciation is just plain rude though...

My mum once met a child called Gooey, by his parents, yes a little odd she thought but maybe it's foreign. Finally saw it written down... child was called Guy. Parents couldn't pronounce the name they'd chosen

I met Gooey's sister Whyvonney, once.

I don't necessarily think it's wanting to 'bring back the empire'

I was joking.

Or at least, I thought I was.

You make a good point wedo but in this case it isn't difficult for a native English's speaker to pronounce an- eye- eese as three separate syllables once they are told how to pronounce it.

There should be no struggling to get their tongue around those sounds, they are perfectly familiar. It's just ignorance and bloody mindedness.

I was going to say the same as vagina there is nothing in the syllables 'an', 'eye/uh' or 'ees/eece' that is remotely difficult for a first language English speaker. We use them all the time. The 'uh' sound is literally THE most common sound in English

Yours was just the comment that stuck in mind slaughter!
But that whole attitude does make me a bit if I'm honest, as you do hear it quite a lot, how English people butcher pronunciations/other languages etc, but all languages do it really. It's normal.

No, I definitely agree vagina there's no excuse other than pure rudeness once you've been told (as OPs dad has)

roundabout

I'm actually not fussy with name pronunciations at all,,, I think them butchering my name is quite charming.

DH studied very much to pronounce the Italian names in my family (appreciated but in no way expected). And there are at least 3 different ways to pronounce DD's name in our family 😂

But why would anybody laugh at saying Paris? I don't because I'm apparently such a conformist... but why?

My English inlaws are supremely puzzling!!

Nobody would laugh at saying Pariss. They would laugh at you saying Paree, because that is not the name of the City in English, so it comes across as ludicrously pretentious to insert it into the middle of a sentence that is otherwise spoken in English. Likewise, you would be looked at askance if you said you were going to Koln (can't do umlauts on this keyboard...) rather than Cologne. When in England, talking in English, you use the English word and pronunciation for places as this is what is fairly universally accepted... I think a lot of people transfer this idea to people's names and feel acutely self-conscious when, e.g., referring to someone called David as Daveed. In other words, they get their knickers in a twist over when to "translate" and when not to. Normally, they will be OK to stick with the actual pronunciation if they can explain the person is French, so they are not being pretentious, but will go all tongue tied if the person is actually English but prefers to use a French pronunciation - and likewise will have trouble dealing with a name unknown in English but chosen by an English person.

round

Oh my, in this case they are being gracefully unpretentious by mispronouncing stuff... fascinating.

Well, me speaking German have never even thought about saying Cologne instead of Köln. I wonder if I embarrassed them... 😉