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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dad 'choosing' to pronounce DD's name differently

602 replies

runningaftermydreams · 19/12/2016 19:09

This is the first post I've written. Apologises for bad spelling... I am writing in anger.

So my DD is 3 months old and I given her an usual name, which I have accepted people will/do pronounce it wrong because they don't know how to say it, its easy Once you know though. My Ddad seems to struggle with it, except today I was visiting with my DC and my Ddad said her name wrong (Again!) so my Dsis corrected him (again) to which my DDad response was "Well it shouldn't be pronounced like that it should be pronounced the way I said it, I am saying it this way"

It then got heated because I told him you can't do that it will confuse her as it doesn't sound anything like her name. He said shes too little to notice. I said he needs to call her by her name that we have given her end of!!
Im fuming because he blatantly told me hes choosing to pronounce it differently, I know this won't be the end of it. I am hurt by this. I know he doesn't like it because it's not a "solid english" name (hmmm my mom is german so hes being a dick), but I wish he would respect our choice.

I am worried about what DP will say when Ddad says her name over Christmas at family gatherings. Think its going to kick off, as this won't be the first time recently where DP has disagreed with him.

AIBU to be angry about this? Wwyd?

OP posts:
SelfCleaningVagina · 20/12/2016 03:55

It IS pronounced the way the OP says it.

SelfCleaningVagina · 20/12/2016 04:02

Bfs sorry didn't realise this thead was so long and that the ad had already been posted Blush

Tezza1 · 20/12/2016 04:04

It Anaïs pronounced ah-nah-ess
How else could you pronounce it? It has a diaeresis in it.

toastyarmadillo · 20/12/2016 04:19

It's probably partly a generational thing, my DM is similar she goes out of her way to mispronounce any out of the ordinary (in her opinion) names, I have two nieces called Kyomi/Kiomi and she spent the first month of their lives pronouncing it "Cyote", she hated "Devlin" as one of out possible names for DS, because she claimed everyone would think it was "Devil". I think it's partly a bizarre control thing in my DM case!

SelfCleaningVagina · 20/12/2016 04:35

You have TWO nieces both called the same very unusual name? Shock

I have never even heard it before, so to get two in the same family is blowing my mind. I bet the mother of Kyomi #1 was absolutely thrilled when Kiomi #2 was named. Grin

heron98 · 20/12/2016 05:40

I'm called anais. And I pronounce it Ann eye ees. Mine is the French pronunciation as my mum is French. There may be others.

mickeyjohn · 20/12/2016 08:05

I can't believe there are people on here saying 'change her name' because THEY can't say it! And also insisting that their French language knowledge is spot on from a 1980s perfume that they've been getting wrong for 30 years.
It's a FAB name! It's beautiful & i wish I'd used it for my DDs!

BlossomHillOne · 20/12/2016 08:05

Am I the only one who hears two syllables - Ann - ace

DeepanKrispanEven · 20/12/2016 08:26

It can't be two syllables, because the diaeresis means the two vowels have to be pronounced separately, making three.

DeepanKrispanEven · 20/12/2016 08:30

toasty, my mother has exactly the same thing about mispronouncing stuff she disapproves of. In my case it was "dyslexia" - she doesn't really believe there is any such thing, and therefore pronounces it "dys-klexia" - and every single time she says it in a very hesitant, mangled way as if it was a really complicated foreign word she'd never heard before.

pklme · 20/12/2016 08:34

Unfamiliar names soon become familiar, and stop being complicated.
Siobbhan. Sian. Chloe. There are people who will be a dick about it, but most people pick it up quickly.

I have an unusual, and hard to spell, name. It really isn't an issue, and I make judgements about people who make it one. 99% of the comments I get (and there are plenty) are interested and positive. I don't at all mind people having trouble spelling/saying it.

My MiL wanted us to choose DSs names from the times top 20, so they would have a nice mainstream, popular name. She did that herself with her four DCs.

JustDontGetIt · 20/12/2016 08:38

I've always pronounced that Anay which isn't the the point of the thread OP sorry! But he should pronounce it how you want him to. Gorgeous name

GlacindaTheTroll · 20/12/2016 08:41

Yes. They will become more familiar - in their standard. Form.

But OP is using a non-standard pronunciation. so is her DF.

And in the middle is a DC who will have a lifetime of explaining that she has a unique pronunciation.

Any chance that she is young enough for everyone to move to the normal pronunciation?

It's a beautiful name, in ordinary French

BlossomHillOne · 20/12/2016 08:54

But when I listen to the many videos I still only here two syllables...

Italiangreyhound · 20/12/2016 09:02

Pluto but she is not a brand. She is a person. And she will correct people in the way a brand cannot! And thaw who ignore her will end up being people she probably Doran't want to be friends with. Including her granddad!

Pluto I think what you are doing is scaremongering. Not very nice.

And the logical continuation of your post at 3:02 is that people in Britain cannot use any foreign sounding name because British people won't be able to cope with it!

TheSlaughterOfTheMortificados · 20/12/2016 09:02

Look - stop telling OP to change her pronunciation or to call her child "Ann" (or whatever) because "it's easier".

She has chosen a name, she has chosen how she wants to pronounce it - end of. All she has to do is tell people that that is how it's pronounced.

There are people who spell their daughter's name "Sara" - some pronounce it Sare- ah ; others Sah-ra. I've heard "Alicia" pronounced as Alee-see-a, Alee-sha, Alee-shia and Al-ih-see-a. There must be many more.

None of them are "wrong" - some of them are unusual, or not the way I would have chosen to say it, but it's the parents' choice. They like that name (it is lovely) and they like the way they say it. If family people stop dicking about and support them, it will become usual for that particular child.

OP - lovely name, lovely pronunciation and I'm sure VERY lovely baby. Kick your dad's backside every time he makes an issue of it! Grin

TheSlaughterOfTheMortificados · 20/12/2016 09:05

people in Britain cannot use any foreign sounding name because British people won't be able to cope with it

Seems to sum it up Greyhound

Oh, for a return to the Empire when we could force all of our pronunciations on Johnny Foreigner and mangle whatever we wanted with impunity Grin

1horatio · 20/12/2016 09:09

skaughter

DH's family still does it. I find it surprisingly charming.

They choose the most 'English' pronunciation of anything (even 'easy' words like fillet. Despite many of them actually speaking French!).

It's a bit of a conundrum. I honestly don't get why. It even feels somewhat deliberate??

DollyPlastic · 20/12/2016 09:10

I can't pronounce that they way you've written it.

Probably just me. Unless your dad is struggling with it too?

OneADayAndThenWhat · 20/12/2016 09:12

I wish people would stop mentioning Anais Nin - she wrote 'erotica' involving child rape, incest, necraphilia, gang rape of young boys, genital mutilatation etc .These stories are written with the intention of the reader being aroused.

It's nasty stuff

Italiangreyhound · 20/12/2016 09:17

Slaughter totally agree.

OP when my dd was born one relative was unhappy with my choice,chow loves dd to bits. One friend called her by the name of an author because he had the same first and second initial (don't see her any more, not because of that!)

I sense on this thread some jealousy that you have chosen a beautiful French name for your daughter! How very dare you!

Enjoy your choice, most kids do not want to be one of three kids in the class with the same first name!

GreatFuckability · 20/12/2016 09:17

This actually reminds me of my grandad who would pronounce pizza as 'piz-eet-ah', because as far as he was concerned they were ridiculous new fangled nonsense.
He had no trouble with Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwrndrobwllllantisiliogogogoch though Grin

1horatio · 20/12/2016 09:20

great

Well, DH's family manages to pronounce their last name (I could still swear they're deliberately mispronouncing just because they want to correct somebody)...

So, I'm fairly certain they have the ability to pronounce French words (MIL actually speaks French!) but they just refuse to do so.

British/English people are fascinating.

JigglyTuff · 20/12/2016 09:30

My mum can't say prosecco properly. She says pro-sheck-oh.

If she'd named me that, she'd still be saying it wrong.

1horatio · 20/12/2016 09:35

jiggly

Well, if she can't say it that's one thing...

But just imagine MIL speaking French and saying certain words very properly (slight English accent, but you know...)

And then Turing around and speaking English. And butchering every French or ortherwise foreign word horribly.

I mean..., why?!?