Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU.. What exactly is feminism?

277 replies

FedUp24 · 19/12/2016 09:53

Hi ladies

What exactly is feminism?

I've always thought it is women fighting for equal rights as men, but there seems to be more to it?

Do feminists believe that all men believe they are superior to women? Are women who choose to not be feminists not really choosing? They only think they are?

I'm just a bit confused!

OP posts:
drspouse · 19/12/2016 10:47

Women being victims of rape has nothing to do with equality. In this country (at least), men are not encouraged to abuse and rape women!

So what has it got to do with? More women are abused and raped than men. You say that men are not encouraged to abuse and rape women.

And yet, many women feel that we live in a rape culture. Have you not noticed anything like this? Do you live under a rock/never read the news?

BoneyBackJefferson · 19/12/2016 10:53

TheSparrowhawk
The statistics regarding pay relate to doing the same job, the same hours, in many cases it's two people who literally sit side by side, doing exactly the same thing, but the man is paid more than the woman for no other reason than their sex.

I have never seen a report based on same hours for the same job for the same time served.

Fedup

As was posted on one of the other threads, I doubt that you will be able to get more than three feminists to agree on a definition.

Sparklingbrook · 19/12/2016 10:56

Yet ANOTHER thread about feminism started by a recently joined poster...

And this time we even have 'Hi Ladies' Hmm

dingdongthewitchishere · 19/12/2016 10:58

Are you saying that because women are more likely to be victims of violence, they deserve less respect?

I never said that, I said that I believe in fairness, not in equality. I believe that the law, and our society, should acknowledge the differences between men and women and work with them.

You don't demand that the federation of boxing bans fight segregation by gender do you?

BoneyBackJefferson · 19/12/2016 11:00

Sparklingbrook

You could always report the thread.

TheSparrowhawk · 19/12/2016 11:01

'Are you saying that because women are more likely to be victims of violence, they deserve less respect?

I never said that, I said that I believe in fairness, not in equality. I believe that the law, and our society, should acknowledge the differences between men and women and work with them.'

Feminists, for the most part, believe in equality of opportunity. That doesn't mean that we pretend men and women are exactly the same physically, what would be the point in that? What it means is that being a woman should not prevent you from access the opportunities that men can access.

'You don't demand that the federation of boxing bans fight segregation by gender do you?'

I honestly don't know what this means, sorry.

KayTee87 · 19/12/2016 11:02

In my opinion feminism is the belief that women & men should be treated as equals.

I have never witnessed men and women being paid differently for the same job, it's completely illegal for a start.

Happened to me - same job, started on the same day, I was better at it and he was paid £5k more than me. I wasn't meant to know but had a friend in payroll who thought it was so unfair she told me. Nothing I could do about it short of a tribunal that would be costly and very stressful.

BenefitsQuestions · 19/12/2016 11:02

I"m a feminist. I'm also married, have a normal life, don't burn bras.

I believe that women are equal to men and should not have less opportunities.

I believe little girls shouldn't be constantly told that their looks are more important than their personalities.

I believe that "wife work" is a very real problem.

I believe that my MIL shouldn't always ask ME what the kids want for xmas she should ask her SON as he's their parent too so also knows.

I believe that women are as bad if not worse than man for removing equality for women (ie victim blaming etc by women)

I believe that men and women are all PEOPLE first and boys and girls are CHILDREN and all have different interests and shouldnt be pigeon holed into tutus and spiderman costumes from birth

I could go on.

Sparklingbrook · 19/12/2016 11:03

I might suggest it gets moved to the right topic Boney.

amispartacus · 19/12/2016 11:05

You'd have thought the OP would discuss this on the feminist chat board Grin

Sparklingbrook · 19/12/2016 11:07

That would be the perfect place to ask ami. Grin

DJBaggySmalls · 19/12/2016 11:07

dingdongthewitchishere

You choose to live with your head in the sand, that makes you part of the problem, not part of the solution.
Meanwhile one another thread, OP's 14 year old daughter is being subjected to a stream of sexual comments from boys in her class.

FeralBeryl · 19/12/2016 11:09

For me, it is very simple. It's that we are all human and should be treated with equality and equity.
I.e. We all vote, freely, we should all be afforded the same education opportunities, paid the same wage for the same job roles.

I see myself (as does DH) as a feminist.
I hold some views and actions that may not be seen as feminist ones, but that is my choice. A choice that is in part down to the work of historical feminist actions.

My choices may or may not have been influenced by societal influences leading me to believe them to be mine but are really influenced by the Patriachy.
However I don't give a shiny shit about that part. I choose not to dissect that side of my life, but I respect that others do.

Tweasels · 19/12/2016 11:13

I don't get what is confusing about it. Maybe it's Philip Davies starting all these threads.

AyeAmarok · 19/12/2016 11:16

Women being victims of rape has nothing to do with equality. In this country (at least), men are not encouraged to abuse and rape women!

Hmm

I really don't want to bite with shit like this, for a start it's too early to start necking the wine to help me engage with this level of stupid.

But dingdong, do you think men are discouraged from abusing and raping women?

Datun · 19/12/2016 11:28

But dingdong, do you think men are discouraged from abusing and raping women?

Particular during the time I have had a husband there was a period of it where had he raped me, it would have been entirely legal.

It's also worth noting that that particular law took 15 YEARS to be ratified.

Datun · 19/12/2016 11:28

*Particularly

HardLightHologram · 19/12/2016 11:29

I dunno, maybe the high conviction rapes put them off. Or they're B discouraged by all the consent-positive bias in films and tv? Or mayve they're discouraged by all the messages they get from society that women are not a prize to be fought for and won over.

Oh, hang on.

HardLightHologram · 19/12/2016 11:31

Excuse random letters, my phone keyboard is fucked.

Datun · 19/12/2016 11:35

Too many threads suddenly asking about feminism, all on the back of a recent political appointment.

dingdongthewitchishere · 19/12/2016 11:38

But dingdong, do you think men are discouraged from abusing and raping women? Confused

ahum... yes, I have never seen rape and abuse being promoted as a positive thing in our societies, have you? I have seen countless messages reminding that "no means no" and I can't think of anything promoting abuse or rape. I am not saying it doesn't exist, but in the same way that child abuse exist. We, as a society, are actively trying to stop it happening!

I am curious why you always have to add "women" to the act of rape. Do you conveniently forget that men are as risk too? That fragile teenagers are victims too? Do you think it's right to make them feel even worst by pretending it does not even exist?

Are you one of those always trying to portray women as victims, and actually working against us?

BertrandRussell · 19/12/2016 11:46

"I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat" Rebecca West

MrsDustyBusty · 19/12/2016 11:48

ahum... yes, I have never seen rape and abuse being promoted as a positive thing in our societies, have you?

Certainly. I do not think the message that you do not put as much as a finger on another person without their consent is very widely promoted. However, the idea that there are grey areas and women routinely lie about rape to exact some self defeating kind of revenge for some unspecified crimes, often hear that.

Coffeerun · 19/12/2016 12:05

I wish there was a like button for sparrowhawks posts.

Dingdong we largely do encourage rape in this country.

Ask yourself, if we are actively trying to discourage rape, then why is the conviction rate for rape so low?

You're entirely missing the point with your comment about banning segregation in boxing.

It's nothing about men and women Boxing against each other. Rather like your cartoon it's the way things are implemented that still hinder women. The way women are judged far more harshly.

Coffeerun · 19/12/2016 12:08

I come back to the law on marital rape. Marital rape was legal up until 1991. Has our society really changed that much since then?