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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

the delivery driver just got really shitty with me!

143 replies

RentANDBills · 16/12/2016 09:54

I work as a Nanny in London, not live in but obviously I'm in the family's home for the majority of the day.
Knock on the door, delivery driver says he's got a parcel (through the cam) "for you, Darling." Very very friendly, overly so.

So I go and open the door and he says, "Actually it's for next door, Love. Can you sign for it?"
I reply that I'm really sorry, but I can't sign for parcels for the neighbours.
I'm the least confrontational person in the world and feel really awkward for saying no.

"It's only for next door, I will put a note through so they collect it later".

"I'm so sorry, I'm not allowed to take in parcels for other people. Sorry."

This isn't strictly true, I've never actually had the conversation with them but I don't feel comfortable taking in parcels which will then disturb my bosses later (as I'll be finished work when neighbour collects) and actually today specifically they are going away for 2 weeks, so no one will be in anyway.

"But its for next door. You just need to sign!" He's no longer friendly.

By this point, I'm really stressed out as he trying to push the parcel onto me and is getting very short with me.

I repeat that I'm really really sorry but I can't take it. And he gives me the filthiest look, says nothing and just storms off leaving me feeling like the most hideous person in the world.

AIBU and selfish for not taking it in? Or was the delivery driver a bit of an arsehole?

I hear enough stories on here about people being like casual sorting offices once delivery drivers have clocked that they'll take parcels in which I'm not keen on. Plus its not my house, so I don't want to take responsibility for things that I may not be able to sort out later. My bosses work hard, and I don't want to add any stress to their evenings of having to wait around for neighbours etc.

Also, this isn't really a factor, but the neighbour (who used to be really friendly) found out that I was "just Staff" and now no longer addresses me directly. Presumably because I'm beneath her. Whilst I'm not going to let this affect my behaviour, I'm not feeling too guilty for not doing her any favours - which really IS selfish. Confused Blush

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 16/12/2016 09:59

Delivery driver=arsehole. You did the right thing. Don't worry about it.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 16/12/2016 10:00

I think it was fair enough, you had to put yourself in the mindset of "What would my employer do?" and if they wouldn't take a parcel in then that's what you would have to do.

NancyDonahue · 16/12/2016 10:00

YANBU. Especially as bosses are going away and neighbour'a parcel could be stuck there.

(Hope you didn't tell him they are going away- I'm thinking Home Alone/Wet Bandits Xmas Shock)

Bluntness100 · 16/12/2016 10:00

He probably needs to deliver it to get paid, so was being a bit arsey about it. I wouldn't dwell on it.

Jackiebrambles · 16/12/2016 10:01

Hmmmm. He sounds rude but not taking in a parcel for next door seems a bit mean - I always help our our neighbours and vice versa.

Though I saw your last paragraph and maybe they deserve it! :-D

littlemissneela · 16/12/2016 10:01

I think for the very reason you won't be in later to hand it over to the neighbour and your bosses will be away for 2 weeks, so prob unable to hand it over either, you were not unreasonable.
But, I take in parcels for my very next door neighbour all the time, and they us, so for that respect you were BU.
The driver could have gone to the house on the other side though.

user1480946351 · 16/12/2016 10:03

You've blown this up into a big deal, when its not. You say he got "really shitty" with you" but actually all he did was ask you take in a parcel for next door. He didn't swear, or shout, or be mean to you. He's just doing his job.
Why on earth didn't you just say its not your house, you're working there? Job done.

Jackiebrambles · 16/12/2016 10:04

Sorry I missed that they are going away for 2 weeks! Definitely not being unreasonable. The parcel would have been held hostage in the wrong place!

SirChenjin · 16/12/2016 10:05

Did you explain to him that you didn't live there and weren't able to take in parcels on your employer's behalf? Otherwise it just sounds a bit like you were refusing for no reason (which obviously you're allowed to do, but it's a Nice Thing To Do generally)

Putsomepeasonit · 16/12/2016 10:06

Yanbu. Next time, after you've told them no once, you close the door and stop engaging before they get chance to be arsey. He shouldn't have lied about it being for your employers address to get you to open the door either.

ThomasHardyPerennial · 16/12/2016 10:08

He tricked you in to opening the door, and anyway you did the right thing! People shouldn't feel pressured to take parcels for others - it's a shit system.

MissMooMoo · 16/12/2016 10:11

Also a nanny and I would have said no under those circs,especially as nobody will be home for 2 weeks!

BastardGoDarkly · 16/12/2016 10:15

You could've made that a much shorter, less uncomfortable situation, but just saying... I'm the nanny, I'm not allowed to take in parcels, sorry.

SABeeTiger · 16/12/2016 10:16

He's not doing his job though, by telling you at first he has a parcel for you to get you to open the door and then telling you it's for next door. I refused once because I was going on holiday that night and the driver acted awfully to me. I complained to the delivery company but I don't think it got me anywhere.

Original poster
RentANDBills · 16/12/2016 10:18

user1480946351 he was shoving the parcel at me to try and physically force me to take it and arguing repeatedly after I said I couldn't. In my mind that's getting shitty.

OP posts:
happychristmaspoobum · 16/12/2016 10:21

YANBU - don't let it spoil your day.

SirChenjin · 16/12/2016 10:21

Why didn't you just say that you weren't the homeowner and weren't able to take in parcels on their behalf? Confused

HighwayDragon1 · 16/12/2016 10:21

Most delivery drivers are paid piece rate, no delivery = no pay.

YelloDraw · 16/12/2016 10:23

If you're employers were going away for 2 weeks you were no way in a position to take in the parcel.

Not your problem of the delivery driver only gets paid for delivering.

scallopsrgreat · 16/12/2016 10:24

YANBU. He was rude and shitty.

I had this happen to me recently with a neighbour's parcel when they'd gone away for three weeks. He guilt-tripped me into keeping it for them Hmm.

My DH had the delivery man give him a parcel which he said was for one of the neighbours but was in fact for someone on a different street! That'll learn him to not read the bloody parcel label before accepting it!

SapphireStrange · 16/12/2016 10:25

The driver was an arsehole and you are being very professional and conscientious in your reasons for not taking it in.

The neighbour is a snobbish tit.

I hope not all the neighbours treat you as 'just staff' and that your employers are decent.

nicenewdusters · 16/12/2016 10:28

You said no, that should have been enough. Whether he thinks you're being difficult it's none of his business. Supposing it had been your house and you were in some kind of dispute with next door? He was a rude arse, glad you stuck to your guns.

butterfliesandzebras · 16/12/2016 10:36

In my last rental home I was working from home while most of the neighbours were at work and I happily acted as parcel drop off point for about half of the street, it was no skin off my nose, everyone was very polite, I'd appreciate people doing the same for me etc.

In your circumstances (the two week holiday) I would have said No, and not said why (never tell strangers when a house will be empty!). So you absolutely weren't unreasonable, and he absolutely was (although delivery drivers are often on tight schedules & poorly paid, so try not to take his attitude to heart).

Given the only packages I am expecting at this time of year are presents for my family I would be extremely unimpressed by a neighbour taking them and locking them away in their house til after Christmas...!

SoupDragon · 16/12/2016 10:40

YANBU to have refused the parcel. Maybe if you'd said that you don't live there he wouldn't have been so arsey though.

OOAOML · 16/12/2016 10:44

He was rude. We had a bizarre parcel delivery the day we moved, where we had to explain several times that we were waiting for the money transfers to happen and would be leaving the flat for good any minute, therefore couldn't take a parcel for upstairs. I do get that delivery drivers have targets to meet, but sometimes it just isn't possible. Or, let's face it, sometimes it is ok not to want to take in parcels.