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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

the delivery driver just got really shitty with me!

143 replies

RentANDBills · 16/12/2016 09:54

I work as a Nanny in London, not live in but obviously I'm in the family's home for the majority of the day.
Knock on the door, delivery driver says he's got a parcel (through the cam) "for you, Darling." Very very friendly, overly so.

So I go and open the door and he says, "Actually it's for next door, Love. Can you sign for it?"
I reply that I'm really sorry, but I can't sign for parcels for the neighbours.
I'm the least confrontational person in the world and feel really awkward for saying no.

"It's only for next door, I will put a note through so they collect it later".

"I'm so sorry, I'm not allowed to take in parcels for other people. Sorry."

This isn't strictly true, I've never actually had the conversation with them but I don't feel comfortable taking in parcels which will then disturb my bosses later (as I'll be finished work when neighbour collects) and actually today specifically they are going away for 2 weeks, so no one will be in anyway.

"But its for next door. You just need to sign!" He's no longer friendly.

By this point, I'm really stressed out as he trying to push the parcel onto me and is getting very short with me.

I repeat that I'm really really sorry but I can't take it. And he gives me the filthiest look, says nothing and just storms off leaving me feeling like the most hideous person in the world.

AIBU and selfish for not taking it in? Or was the delivery driver a bit of an arsehole?

I hear enough stories on here about people being like casual sorting offices once delivery drivers have clocked that they'll take parcels in which I'm not keen on. Plus its not my house, so I don't want to take responsibility for things that I may not be able to sort out later. My bosses work hard, and I don't want to add any stress to their evenings of having to wait around for neighbours etc.

Also, this isn't really a factor, but the neighbour (who used to be really friendly) found out that I was "just Staff" and now no longer addresses me directly. Presumably because I'm beneath her. Whilst I'm not going to let this affect my behaviour, I'm not feeling too guilty for not doing her any favours - which really IS selfish. Confused Blush

OP posts:
DameDeDoubtance · 17/12/2016 10:37

the driver's rage is being justified as his job is crap. The op is being told that she is partly to blame for his anger, that is bloody awful.

Manumission · 17/12/2016 10:39

Dame you've twice tried to inflict a gendered significance on the events.

DameDeDoubtance · 17/12/2016 12:14

That's correct Manumission Smile

bibbitybobbityyhat · 17/12/2016 12:29

I'm sorry but delivery drivers should be able to accept "No, I'm sorry" with good grace and no questions asked. Especially if they have duped someone into answering the door.

Manumission · 17/12/2016 13:27

Erm, why Dame?

I'm all in favour of sniffing out structural sexism, but I think you're on a sticky wicket with this one TBH.

SirChenjin · 17/12/2016 13:34

Don't be sorry Grin

Yes, of course delivery drivers (of both sexes, lest we succumb to sweeping generalisations) should accept a 'no sorry', but when a 'I am not the homeowner' can be added to the sentence to bring the matter to a swift close it's probably better to do so. The MN 'no is a complete sentence' doesn't always work so well in RL sadly.

NavyandWhite · 17/12/2016 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 17/12/2016 13:57

"Plus she could have taken it ..."

Well, yes, if she thought the intended recipients wouldn't mind not getting it for two weeks.

NavyandWhite · 17/12/2016 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 17/12/2016 14:08

Because you don't tell people you don't know that a house is going to be empty for two weeks!

Manumission · 17/12/2016 14:16

You can tell them that you don't live there, though.

NavyandWhite · 17/12/2016 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 17/12/2016 14:21

Why are you going round in circles Bibbity? 'Im not the homeowner and therefore I am unable to take the parcel' isn't giving any clues as to the occupancy over the coming weeks.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 17/12/2016 14:34

I was responding to Navy's assertion that nanny could have taken in the parcel, SirCh.

AnArrowToTheKnee · 17/12/2016 14:44

Why does she have to give a reason? She doesn't have to explain herself to an arsey delivery driver, he should have accepted the fact she said no and moved on. His crap working conditions are not her fault.

Manumission · 17/12/2016 14:53

She doesn't have to.

But sometimes making sure you don't appear inexplicably difficult diffuses someone else's incipient arsiness.

SirChenjin · 17/12/2016 14:56

No, of course she doesn't have to give a reason- but it would have stopped the conversation at the beginning.

Original poster
RentANDBills · 17/12/2016 15:03

To be honest, he didn't give me much opportunity to explain - I said "I'm really sorry, but I'm not allowed" and he kept cutting me off with "its just for the neighbours".
I probably could have shoehorned in that I was the Nanny but I was taken aback by the whole thing anyway plus didn't have time.
I get cut across by a lot of people IRL anyway, clearly I'm a bit of a wet blanket.

OP posts:
Manumission · 17/12/2016 15:11

You're not a wet anything.

But this is why it can help to go over it in your head; To have better shut down lines ready for the next aggressive twerp.

melj1213 · 17/12/2016 23:34

I said "I'm really sorry, but I'm not allowed"

Whic is probably why the conversation continued ... the driver comes to a house and the (presumed) homeowner says they aren't allowed to take a parcel, which sounds like a random disconnect to him so he keeps pushing by basically saying "It's ok, I'm allowing it" because he didn't know you were the nanny and it wasn't your house.

In future, you just need to be concise and truthful without giving out any information - like that the house will be empty for two weeks!- and just say "This isn't my house, I just work here, so I can't take parcels for anyone except the homeowner. Sorry" Then close the door.

NavyandWhite · 18/12/2016 07:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Giselaw · 18/12/2016 07:47

He got shitty. I have one to share - working from home and on an important call. Knock at the door, delivery... I mouth I can't get off the phone and reach or the signing pad... Delivery driver tells me it's for next door, would I be willing to take it in. Still on the phone she tells me rather loudly I NEED YOUR FULL NAME HOW DO YOI SPELL YOUR SURNAME.

Horrified, I signal for her to shush down pointing at my phone and mouthing, I can't I'm on a work call, and do the sign thing with my free hand indicating I'm happy to sign for it and take it.

I NEED YOUR FULL NAME IN ORDER FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO LEAVE IT WITH YOU, she fucking bellows again while she shoves the parcel in my outstretched hand (which was expecting the signing pad.)

I saw red. Shook my head, mouthed "no" and kept my hand outstretched with the bloody parcel to give back.

She snatched it so roughly she nearly dropped it, and stormed off cursing under her breath.

flumpybear · 18/12/2016 07:57

He's being an idiot. Next time just say 'try another neighbour as after today we'll be away for a few weeks so they won't get their parcel!'

NavyandWhite · 18/12/2016 08:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thatdearoctopus · 18/12/2016 08:13

Cancel the cheque!

How many more people are going to come on here and suggest the OP should have told the bloke the house would be empty for two weeks?