the delivery driver just got really shitty with me!

[RentANDBills]

I work as a Nanny in London, not live in but obviously I'm in the family's home for the majority of the day.
Knock on the door, delivery driver says he's got a parcel (through the cam) "for you, Darling." Very very friendly, overly so.

So I go and open the door and he says, "Actually it's for next door, Love. Can you sign for it?"
I reply that I'm really sorry, but I can't sign for parcels for the neighbours.
I'm the least confrontational person in the world and feel really awkward for saying no.

"It's only for next door, I will put a note through so they collect it later".

"I'm so sorry, I'm not allowed to take in parcels for other people. Sorry."

This isn't strictly true, I've never actually had the conversation with them but I don't feel comfortable taking in parcels which will then disturb my bosses later (as I'll be finished work when neighbour collects) and actually today specifically they are going away for 2 weeks, so no one will be in anyway.

"But its for next door. You just need to sign!" He's no longer friendly.

By this point, I'm really stressed out as he trying to push the parcel onto me and is getting very short with me.

I repeat that I'm really really sorry but I can't take it. And he gives me the filthiest look, says nothing and just storms off leaving me feeling like the most hideous person in the world.

AIBU and selfish for not taking it in? Or was the delivery driver a bit of an arsehole?

I hear enough stories on here about people being like casual sorting offices once delivery drivers have clocked that they'll take parcels in which I'm not keen on. Plus its not my house, so I don't want to take responsibility for things that I may not be able to sort out later. My bosses work hard, and I don't want to add any stress to their evenings of having to wait around for neighbours etc.

Also, this isn't really a factor, but the neighbour (who used to be really friendly) found out that I was "just Staff" and now no longer addresses me directly. Presumably because I'm beneath her. Whilst I'm not going to let this affect my behaviour, I'm not feeling too guilty for not doing her any favours - which really IS selfish.

Yanbu. You acted in what you felt were your employer eras best interests. That's what you're paid to do - he's paid to deliver but your not paid to facilitate his job iyswim?!

I think a simple conversation with your employer about what they expect of you in this respect is totally fair.

He was rude and aggressive, and he ignored your refusal which is completely out of order.

I never take in parcels anymore, I can't be arsed running around delivering them or having them left in my hall. The more you take in the more the delivery men knock. You gave him too much time. "No I can't take it sorry" shut door!

Flounced - of course, but there are other ways of saying no without giving out details about who is or isn't in the house.

The start of 2 weeks annual leave OP??! Bloody hell, put all thoughts of MSAGDD out of your head now and enjoy your holiday!!

no youre not should have just shut the door in his face u dont have to take a parcel for anyone let alone a snotty neighbour

how do the delivery drivers know if your on good terms with theneighbours

they all seem to assume youre all mates

"Sorry RudeDeliveryGuy, I don't actually live here so I can't sign for anything and even if I could, I wouldn't because you lied to me to get me to even open the door and are now being really pushy So sorry, but the cat's on fire, got to go!"

I don't think you need to give them your life story, or tell anyone that your employers are off on holiday but as long as you give them a concise explanation of why you won't sign then you've done your bit.

Why didn't you specify "I work here, I don't live here"?

"I'm not allowed" probably sounded mystifying.

He was a cock. It is not the op's fault that delivery drivers have a stressful low paid job. Don't dwell on it op and forget him and enjoy your break (assuming your employers aren't dragging you away with them over Christmas!)

It's tricky when you have a cast iron reason to say no (the holiday) which you can't give out to strangers. But I agree that "I don't live here, I can't take in parcels" is a better approach for the future although some desperate/arsehole delivery drivers would still get arsey.

My personal least favourite delivery people of the year were the Royal Mail person who tiptoed up to the door and pushed a "you were out" card through very quietly in the middle of the day without disturbing either of the inhabitants, and the Amazon delivery person who swore blind that he'd left my parcel with "Dave, in the mail room" - my office has no mail room, and is probably the only medium sized employer in England with no Dave.

Why didn't you just say 'No because we're going away, nobody will be here to collect?'

They have really shitty jobs and the way you approached it would have given the impression you were just being difficult for the sake of it.

God no - never, ever tell a stranger that your house is going to be empty

She said no, that's enough, it's not her fault he was an asshole . It isn't women's fault when men are assholes. It is mens fault, men, don't be assholes.

How did this become the fault of ALL men dame?

There was a piece on R4 about the terrible working conditions of delivery drivers, Amazon especially. There were stories of 16 hour days of constant driving to meet quotas, no time for loo breaks let alone lunch and 21 day stints without a day off. They're all outsourced, so it's minimum wage, zero contracts and constant pressure.

I think you did the right thing, but I'd try not to take his attitude personally, it's clearly off the back of company culture.

Yes, what looks like a householder in a house repeating "I'm not allowed to" is just going to confuse most couriers.

Agree with sirchengin, u shouldn't tell anyone that doesn't absolutely need to know, that the house will be empty for 2 weeks! If the house got burgled and ur employer knew you did that, I'd expect them to fire you, and reasonably so!

OP could have explained a little more, but she wasn't obliged to - taking in a parcel is a favour, she didn't have to give any reason. Not understanding why, did not entitled the driver to be aggressive and rude in any way.

Gosh, Not All Men obviously, asshole men. The driver acted like an asshole and people are blaming the op as she should have "handled" him better.

If it was a parcel at this time of year it could well be a Christmas present so keeping it for 2 weeks while they are away would be a little unfair. Perfectly reasonable to say no, and agree it's not safe to explain why. Also agree you could say you work there and not permitted to take in parcels.

As to whether the delivery driver was entitled to be arsey because of his cap job and poor working conditions - it depends on the company. I once had a client who was a local-drop delivery driver and he earned £50k + a year and ran a rather lovely sports car. He loved his job. He earned a lot more than I did. He was clever about how he did it and the hours he worked and was never rude, he was such a nice chap.

I never said he was entitled Pootle Far from it. It's just a perspective that wasn't touched upon in this thread.

I also think that having no explanation as to why the OP can't help would be frustrating. Even if it's just that she's an employee, doesn't live there and not allowed to do so due to that.

Lots of women have crap, low paid jobs but manage to sit on their anger.

YANBU you did the right thing, it is not your place to take it, you don't live at the property and you could of possibly of gotten into trouble with your bosses if you did take it, delivery guy was jut being a first class knob

That's a sexist good generalisation point you make Dame, thanks for sharing. Very pointless poignant.