Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

the delivery driver just got really shitty with me!

143 replies

RentANDBills · 16/12/2016 09:54

I work as a Nanny in London, not live in but obviously I'm in the family's home for the majority of the day.
Knock on the door, delivery driver says he's got a parcel (through the cam) "for you, Darling." Very very friendly, overly so.

So I go and open the door and he says, "Actually it's for next door, Love. Can you sign for it?"
I reply that I'm really sorry, but I can't sign for parcels for the neighbours.
I'm the least confrontational person in the world and feel really awkward for saying no.

"It's only for next door, I will put a note through so they collect it later".

"I'm so sorry, I'm not allowed to take in parcels for other people. Sorry."

This isn't strictly true, I've never actually had the conversation with them but I don't feel comfortable taking in parcels which will then disturb my bosses later (as I'll be finished work when neighbour collects) and actually today specifically they are going away for 2 weeks, so no one will be in anyway.

"But its for next door. You just need to sign!" He's no longer friendly.

By this point, I'm really stressed out as he trying to push the parcel onto me and is getting very short with me.

I repeat that I'm really really sorry but I can't take it. And he gives me the filthiest look, says nothing and just storms off leaving me feeling like the most hideous person in the world.

AIBU and selfish for not taking it in? Or was the delivery driver a bit of an arsehole?

I hear enough stories on here about people being like casual sorting offices once delivery drivers have clocked that they'll take parcels in which I'm not keen on. Plus its not my house, so I don't want to take responsibility for things that I may not be able to sort out later. My bosses work hard, and I don't want to add any stress to their evenings of having to wait around for neighbours etc.

Also, this isn't really a factor, but the neighbour (who used to be really friendly) found out that I was "just Staff" and now no longer addresses me directly. Presumably because I'm beneath her. Whilst I'm not going to let this affect my behaviour, I'm not feeling too guilty for not doing her any favours - which really IS selfish. Confused Blush

OP posts:
TheWoodlander · 16/12/2016 10:58

YWNBU - delivery driver just got shitty because of the time of year/pressure to deliver his parcels. Put it out of your mind.

If it happens again, just say in a confident voice "I'm the Nanny, and don't live here. I'm afraid I'm not allowed to take in parcels."

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 16/12/2016 11:05

Well obviously fine to not take in the parcel, but you can't have an expectation that everyone you meet in life is going to be super sweet and totally not shitty all the time. Doesn't sound like he crossed any boundaries and you haven't lost anything, he was just a bit arsey.

It's life. You came into contact with another person. You didn't like their attitude. Now they're gone. Don't dwell on it.

Original poster
RentANDBills · 16/12/2016 11:10

OK, feel a bit better.

Tbf I don't really think he has an excuse to be rude.
I had a shrieking baby in the background, something on the stove and today is very pressured to get all the food prepped for the baby for the two weeks away plus packing etc etc.
And I would always try my best to be polite and not aggressive to someone.
I realise its not that big of a deal though!

OP posts:
eatsleephockeyrepeat · 16/12/2016 11:18

I feel like my post read a bit harshly RentANDBills, I just wanted to clarify, I do know exactly how you feel. I used to constantly check myself as well and try and work out if I did something wrong to instigate a stranger's bad mood. I would also beat myself up for ages if I felt I accidentally came across as shitty to someone else (as in RIGHT NOW)... but I learnt to chiiiiiilllll a little bit. Sometimes you've got your own shit going on and you come across a bit blunt. Sometimes other people do too; sometimes they're downright rude. Whatevs. It's people. It's life. Have a lovely day :)

LeopardPrintSocks1 · 16/12/2016 11:20

He's an arsehole for lying in the first place that the parcel was for you to get you to come to the door!

Temporaryname137 · 16/12/2016 12:03

If that's the reason for not being friendly any more, your neighbour sounds like a snobby cunt. YWBU not to take her parcel and set fire to it!

FlouncedBack · 16/12/2016 12:09

You were being pleasant and very polite given the circs so don't beat yourself up. Somebody else might have snatched the parcel off him and lobbed it over next doors. Smile

Ahickiefromkinickie · 16/12/2016 12:26

User148

You've blown this up into a big deal, when its not. You say he got "really shitty" with you" but actually all he did was ask you take in a parcel for next door. He didn't swear, or shout, or be mean to you. He's just doing his job.

He lied. He got OP to open the door on false pretexts. For that alone, he got what he deserved.

user1480946351 · 16/12/2016 12:28

Or he didn't look closely at the parcel until he'd already knocked. So what? This is a mountain/molehill situation.

Ahickiefromkinickie · 16/12/2016 13:35

OP just wants some re-assurance that she wasn't being selfish and the driver was an arsehole. That doesn't mean she is blowing it up into a big deal. There would be no AIBU if people didn't want to post and others didn't want to weigh in.

Ilovewillow · 16/12/2016 13:50

In your situation you were not being unreasonable! Our nanny took a parcel which wasn't ours, turns out to be a massive box of underfloor heating, the rightful owners lived street away and couldn't collect for a week so I'm sure your family will appreciate your actions!!

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 16/12/2016 13:54

He was an arse but could this have been avoided if you'd said "oh, Im really sorry but I'm the nanny and my employers don't like me to take in parcels" or "I'm really sorry but the family are going away for two weeks so could you try another address"?

TwoGunslingers · 16/12/2016 14:03

"I'm just the nanny sorry" job done.

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 16/12/2016 14:06

I think it's a stretch to say he "lied".

"I've got a parcel for you"; fair to say if you mean "I've got a parcel to give to you", which is what he intended to do. He then corrected himself (probably realising there was scope for misunderstanding) and said "actually it's for next door". Benefit of the doubt and all that, you couldn't call that a lie.

Lookinatu · 16/12/2016 14:09

At least u have a good excuse I have just said no because I am sick of my neighbour being too loud and waking up my baby during the night. Petty but felt good

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 16/12/2016 14:10

He didn't know the situation and he didn't need to. No is a complete sentence. He was being a rude arsehole.

From my side, my neighbours are awful passive aggressive bullies, but they once had the audacity to leave specific instructions that a delivery man could leave their heavy parcels at my address because I was at home sick.

I had a broken knee and was in a three storey house.

I came down two flights of stairs on my crutches, in a leg brace because the delivery man was hanging on my doorbell.

I told him to take the parcel away and not deliver anything further. Never had any bad attitude from the delivery guy.

You should report it if you remember the company.

Topseyt · 16/12/2016 14:11

Did you explain to him that you are the nanny, that you need the home owner's permission to accept deliveries for other people, and that you do not have that permission yet?

Otherwise, I do think he sounded rude and you were not being unreasonable. Nobody is obliged to take in parcels for the neighbours. I do, but I am the home owner here, and our neighbours do for me too. There could be a whole host of reasons why someone might be reluctant to do so though.

Aki23 · 16/12/2016 14:12

I understand why he was stressed as he will need to make a repeat visit. NOT YOUR FAULT! You did the right thing.

darceybussell · 16/12/2016 14:14

I had a delivery driver once desperately try to get me to take a parcel for someone across the road even though I explained repeatedly that I was setting off in a few minutes to go on holiday for a fortnight so wouldn't be able to give it to them. He just wouldn't go away!

I think they get paid about 75p per parcel. They desperately need to get it done and then on the the next one to make any money whatsoever after their expenses, so I understand why they act like that. Doesn't make it ok but I do understand it. Don't take it personally he is obviously having a shit day and he took it out on you a bit.

Armi · 16/12/2016 14:37

You did the right thing. A guy once completely bullied me into accepting a delivery for a neighbour - it was a huge mirror and two chairs which he literally shoved into my house, pushing me back down the hall with the parcels.

I phoned the company to complain. I hope they sacked him.

LittleBooInABox · 16/12/2016 14:38

I called one a moron the other day, in my defence it took him three attempts to deliver it because he kept knocking on the external flat door. Not using the button.

At this time of year they can be arseholes. There paid for parcels delivered, so they want to get it gone first time.

MerryMarigold · 16/12/2016 14:42

I think you should have explained a. You don't live there so you won't be there tonight and don't want to put this job onto someone else. It would just have been helpful to explain.

Being a delivery man at this time of year must be hideous.

Ellisandra · 16/12/2016 14:43

I don't understand why didn't just say "sorry, going on holiday for 2 weeks shortly, so can't".
He had no justification for being rude, but you really only had to say that!

SirChenjin · 16/12/2016 15:07

At this time of year they can be arseholes. There paid for parcels delivered, so they want to get it gone first time

God yeah, absolute arseholes for having to work to completely unrealistic deadlines imposed on them by companies who don't give a shit and for working long hours to support their families for crap wages Hmm

As has been said, the OP could have avoided this by not doing the MN 'no is a complete sentence' and simply explaining why she couldn't take the parcel.

FlouncedBack · 16/12/2016 15:08

You shouldn't explain anything - it's not safe to tell perfect strangers who is and isn't in the house with you or what your position regarding employment is. They don't need to know that information.
I don't even tell them my name, they tell me who the parcel is for and I confirm they have the correct address.
If you think your employers are amenable I would ask them to consider putting a sign on the gate to make these sort of opportunist delivery drivers etc feel they won't get a welcome reception.

Swipe left for the next trending thread