*I have noticed more posters on here saying "Oh we do Amazon lists and its great"
I think it's bloody rude, and grabby, and I can't see my position on that changing.
Why does everyone suddenly think that children have the absolute right to not just offer an idea... book, LEGO, but to specify exactly what item and what brand and what price*
(a) Because without a list you get more than one copy of the same thing. The beauty of an online wish list is that once someone's bought something it disappears from the list so no one else will buy it. I remember one Christmas nearly twenty years ago when four different people bought my SIL the exact same gift.
(b) That's not how wish lists work. It's possible to add an "idea" to an Amazon wishlist -- plenty of people in my family put up a picture and a rambling comment that explains what they like about it to act as inspiration (this year, for example, I've made one of my sister's gifts (she has a near-Christmas birthday, too) based on one of those wishlist items. Even if you ARE linking to a specific item rather than a general idea you can link to another website that has it cheaper than Amazon, and it's also perfectly possible for the purchaser to buy the item elsewhere and then mark it off as bought (Amazon wishlists have a specific button for that), so there's no compulsion on price (even if you ignore the ability to buy second-hand, which generally offers a range of price options anyway)
(c) I make sure that there are plenty of things in the £5 bracket on the lists because I know plenty of relatives only have that much to spend. Those relatives are generally the ones who are most likely to use the list, because they'd rather spend that £5 on something the child really loves than on Generic £5 Gift.
(d) I don't send the list to anyone. I don't cycle round to their house and nail it to their front door. It's just there, quietly, if they choose to look at it -- I add stuff during the year as the children show enthusiasm for it, take it off again if that proves to be a flash-in-the-pan, put on things that they specifically ask for if they don't cost too much and I'd be prepared to give them houseroom. Nor is anyone compelled to buy from the list. I know this year MIL is going off-list for DC3, and my mother is going off-list for DC2 and DC3 (and off-list for DC1's birthday, which is shortly after Christmas). Remoter relations on DH's side would never use a list. And that's all fine. But it's there for people who want it .
This year my great-aunt is sending me £10 per child and has asked me to buy them a gift each. Guess what -- I'm going to be specifying exactly what item and what brand and what price because I'll be buying the present.
Some other relatives will choose to look at an online list, browse a whole range of ideas (from the very specific to the very general), decide what they want to buy, where they want to buy it from and what price they can get it for.
How in the name of all that is holy is the second of those two options "grabby" and "rude" because I'm supposedly specifying the item and brand and price? Is the first option (where I genuinely AM specifying the item and brand and price) grabby and rude too?
How in the name of any other things that are holy I may have left out the first time is it less rude to tell people who actually want specific ideas that no, I will only give them generic suggestions like "Lego" or "Book" and they'll have to go away and research the possible options for themselves, then enjoy the suspense of hoping they didn't have the same idea as someone else looking for a gift in the same budget range with the same prompt?