.. to be upset about the croissants?

[AnnaMagdalene]

My partner is forgetful and scatty.

My daughter is home from university. We had arranged to have breakfast together and have croissants - the expensive kind made with French butter. My partner would make the breakfast

For the second time in the last year or so, he decided that rather than warm them in the oven he would place them under a hot grill and forget about them.

I came downstairs to a kitchen full of acrid smoke. The croissants were inedible. The house still smells of burning.

I asked my partner what he was thinking of. He said he was listening to the radio and thinking about Aleppo, so he turned the oven switch the wrong way.

I just feel tired and sad. Like giving up.

that's something that I would laugh off to be honest, then i'd take everyone to the local café for coffee and scones.

BUT... i'm not you, you are you, so if you are upset then YANBU to be upset.

Is this just one problem in a long line of issues?

Unless this is the final straw in a long line of thoughtless behaviour you need to get a grip.

I think there's more than burnt croissants going on here OP. If you were happy in your relationship you wouldn't feel tired and sad about this.

Have some

Thanks. I think I am just tired after various Christmas preparations and supporting my partner and looking after my daughter.

I takes a kind of resilience to laugh everything off. I don't have it right now.

Why would you feel like giving up when you already know he's forgetful and scatty?. Is there something else going on?

I find your post childish, selfish and offensive. Yes, Aleppo is more important than burnt croissants and you are being unreasonable.

Shame about the croissants, but I'd probably do the same if I was caught up listening about Aleppo; those poor people there . At least your partner cares enough to hear what is going on there.

Like giving up what?

Must be much bigger backstory

Sometimes those things are just the last straw.

I cried this morning when I found my dh had put a dirty cereal bowl in a dishwasher that had been on overnight spilling milk all over the clean plates. It's been a rotten week.

If you're generally feeling fed up and unsupported you should talk to your partner.

Grip here.

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate OP though, and perhaps your feelings weren't just about the croissants...maybe they were just the last straw for you. I hope things improve for you soon

You sound quite down OP. I know what it's like when one seemingly trivial thing can make you feel like giving up. Take your daughter out for a nice lunch and make it up with your partner.

I mean, Jeez. Really. The fucking horror going on there at the moment. Right now. The stuff that is happening to people. Take one second to think.

Sympathetic that you are feeling generally shitty OP, however, If you think this ridiculous first world problem is bigger than being distracted by aleppo, then I agree with other PP that YABVU.

Why are you so tired?

I find your post childish, selfish and offensive. Yes, Aleppo is more important than burnt croissants and you are being unreasonable.

Well there was the time during an earlier phase of the conflict, when he stated that he would like to invite a Syrian refugee to live with us. I pointed out that the only spare room is currently full of stuff relating to the business that he runs from home - so, quite apart from any feelings I might have about this - he would have to find out a way of reconciling support for a refugee with finding somewhere to put necessary equipment. I suggested that an alternative way to help might be to volunteer with a charity that supports refugees in our city. After an initial enquiry, he did nothing about this.

If my breakfast could have been used to feed somebody in a refugee camp, I would have happily given it away. But I don't think the burnt croissant did a lot to alleviate the humanitarian crisis in Syria.

Things have gone a bit further than giving people breakfast in refugee camps. As we speak atrocities are being committed, including against children. War crimes.

You post about your kitchen being filled with acrid smoke. In Aleppo there is certainly acrid smoke and the smell of burning flesh, I imagine, so it was an infelicitous juxtaposition.

Sending big hugs. I 'm guessing this wasnt really about the croissants. Its difficult to know how you're feeling from this post, maybe sit down and talk to DP or maybe you need to see your GP to sort out the tiredness/feeling down.
Be kind to yourself today

YABVU - they are just croissants. Unless there is more to this, I cannot believe you are trying to justify it by saying But I don't think the burnt croissant did a lot to alleviate the humanitarian crisis in Syria.

Jesus wept

Nobody is saying Aleppo isn't important

YANBU

Of course, unless they are related to a terminal disease, ALL our problems are nothing compared to the horrors going on somewhere. So what? How is letting your food burn and smoking down the house helping anyone in Aleppo for a start?

OP, tell your partner you are tired and sad and you need help so he must put it together. If you think that croissants can be expensive, it sounds like you don't have a very high budget either. Speak with him. Can you rest this weekend? Now that your daughter is back, can't you just take time to sit down with her, chat and catch up, no running around?

When you are exhausted, little things push you over the edge. It's ok to be upset. Without knowing what the problems are, it's difficult to help.

But I don't think the burnt croissant did a lot to alleviate the humanitarian crisis in Syria.

No, but it puts your AIBU into perspective. He burnt the croissants, no big deal. Chill

Tell us about the relationship OP. So he's cluttered up the spare room with WFH stuff. He's careless with small but annoying things sometimes. Is he supportive to you in general ? Are you having any ongoing disagreements or tensions at the mo?
I'm sure there is more to this than the croissants.