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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want guests to remove their shoes when walking through my house?

609 replies

MummyLizH · 13/12/2016 19:47

Not sure if I'm particularly bothered by this because it's mainly the in-laws who do it, but most people know I expect shoes off as you walk through the front door.

I've mentioned it to dh a few times, I think he thinks I'm just picking at his parents behaviour, but it makes my blood boil... I clean and hoover my home, invite you round and you tread your dirty shoes all over the floor which me and my kids sit and play on (and my little girl crawls around on) Angry. My parents have the decency to bring their slippers!

OP posts:
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littlemummyfoofoo · 15/12/2016 19:56

Not had time to read all the replies. ..I always take my shoes off around someone else's house. My FIL often doesn't want to take his shoes off but after living in Asia where even in school students take their shoes off and wear slippers in class ...we always ask. it makes sense. .. less cleaning.

flapinko · 15/12/2016 20:04

I also concur with Crumbs1 on the ridiculousness of white/cream carpets. As well as all the posters who said it shows that you care more about your house than you do about the comfort of your guests.

And being asked to take your shoes off at a dinner or a party is just laughable -seriously?? I can't imagine anyone I know going to a party where you were expected to enjoy it in socks, or someone else's stash of hotel slippers! I get the stilettos and wooden floors conundrum (a polite, 'please don't wear stilettos' note beforehand deals with that) - you don't want your floor irreversibly trashed with stiletto dents. But jeez, beyond that, floors get dirty, of course they do - that's what the mop, the brush and the hoover were invented for.

Like a pp said, I've never heard of any toddlers or babies getting ill from licking the floor. A bit of bacteria is good for them, and they're going to be ingesting far worse at nursery/school.

treaclesoda · 15/12/2016 20:16

I never thought about school and pre-school. But now that you mention it, they're down on the floor there and everyone wears their outdoor shoes.

GravyAndShite · 15/12/2016 20:19

Your house, your rules.

Accept it's DH home too... and he has different values so that's a quandary.

CaraAspen · 15/12/2016 20:37

Yeeessssss. Hmm
How on earth do schools manage the outrage?

GravyAndShite · 15/12/2016 20:43

You hear that, Cara?

That's the sound of multiple precious mothers frantically googling "how practical is it to homeschool" and "bubble wrap for children".

Grin
apringle · 15/12/2016 20:49

I find it repulsive. We moved here from Asia and it's an absolute insult to keep your shoes on in someone's house. Dirt, dog poo, spit- why would anyone want to wear their filthy shoes in someone else's house (especially with a crawling baby)!

1horatio · 15/12/2016 21:01

We took our shoes off in the kindergarten, nursery and primary school.

Only stopped doing that in middle school.

But still needed indoor schoes for sports.

littlemummyfoofoo · 15/12/2016 21:08

I have to add, asking is nice when you visit. Each to their own. Many times I've started to take my shoes off and the host has said not to worry. That's up to them. So then I'd keep them on. I mean what if they have a fear of socks or toes? ..never thought of that before. .. but if the fear is dirt...my SIL is ocd for example...or babies picking up shoe droppings then I swing with shoes off. .. At mine I prefer off than on. But if they keep them on Im not going to make a fuss.

Natsku · 15/12/2016 21:10

They take shoes off for nursery and school for at least the lower grades here, perhaps in the upper school too. I have to take my shoes off when I go inside DD's nursery (the children also change into inside clothes when they come in)

AvaCrowder · 15/12/2016 21:11

I love these threads. It's been a while since I saw one.

I want to do whatever makes my guests feel comfortable. people feeling comfortable in my home or around me is paramount. The flooring is absolutely secondary to people's feelings.

I only know about China, the reason for shoes off is a combination of spitting and tb. I guess the Northern European culture is to do with snow.

e1y1 · 15/12/2016 21:14

Shoes are part of an outfit. You simply can't tell people they have to take them off. Wrong wrong wrong on every level. And rude. And precious

Wanna bet? Grin

treaclesoda · 15/12/2016 21:15

Do you know what would really enhance this thread? If we could include the following contentious issues:

Anti bacterial cleaner vs ordinary soap
Chicken. To wash or not to wash?
Toilet brushes. Yes or no?

I think it would be all my favourite mumsnet threads rolled into one. Smile

Gene9 · 15/12/2016 21:16

Oh my treacle you little devil you Grin

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 15/12/2016 21:18

treacle
Don't forget
"What?" or "Pardon?"

OrangeFluff · 15/12/2016 21:18

I was brought up in a 'no shoes on the carpet' house, but any hard floors were fine as they were much easier to clean.

We don't have carpets in our house, so we are 'whatever makes you feel comfortable'. We also have a cat who comes in and out without wiping her feet, so would feel like a hypocrite complaining about germs and bacteria.

I just wish people who insisted on shoes off would provide somewhere to sit when removing and putting on my shoes. I have dyspraxia- so terrible balance- and it can be very embarrassing struggling to stand on one foot/leaning against the wall/looking like a tit whilst people are waiting.

treaclesoda · 15/12/2016 21:24

I'm not even being sarcastic Grin I read every post on these threads and find them endlessly entertaining!

Liz38 · 15/12/2016 21:27

I grew up with shoes being worn indoors and married into a family who don't. I now routinely take my shoes off at the door (ish) as do DD6 and DH. My DPs don't, drives DH nuts and he mutters about how rude. My DPs would regard it as rude, odd and yes, common to be asked and would probably refuse. Bless.

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because I feel unbelievably slovenly and embarrassed wearing slippers with anyone other than immediate family around (feels rather like walking around in just underwear: slippers are private, not for public viewing) so I either have cold feet (and splinters), break DH's house rules or feel uncomfortable in my own home.

If I can't get it right in my house I don't see how anyone else can!

LaurieMarlow · 15/12/2016 21:28

I do love these threads. Nothing ever changes Grin.

For whatever reason it's very difficult for people to accept that what's been instilled in them as good manners is not universally accepted and, in fact, deemed the height of bad manners amongst others.

1horatio · 15/12/2016 21:28

In this case....

Treacle:
Shoes, on? Off?
Soap or anti bacterial cleaner?
Chicken?
Toilet brush?
Pardon? What? Sorry?

Gene9 · 15/12/2016 21:29

I think antibacterial soap is best - washes off the nasties normal soap won't rid of

I'm not a fan of loo brushes but really I'm the only house I've ever seen not to have one - I must be weird

I don't serve chicken so don't know - would imagine it has to be washed but then again it's being boiled/cooked isn't it? Water alone won't wash away salmonella and you aren't going to rub a bit of Dove into your chicken. Are you? Grin

1horatio · 15/12/2016 21:33

Antibacterial soap: we have a white block of soap. I suspect it isn't antibacterial.
I don't wash chicken (never heard of that, up to now)
A toilet brush? Yes. But isn't used for cleaning...
Shoes off. Especially upstairs.

CaraAspen · 15/12/2016 21:43

Napkins or serviettes?
Fish cutlery or not?
Champagne in flutes or not?
Wall to wall carpeting or large traditional rugs?

CaraAspen · 15/12/2016 21:43

Noooooooooo! The carpet one is going to cause a spat..

1horatio · 15/12/2016 21:51

Do people still have wall to wall carpeting? Never liked that.

Why?!

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