To want guests to remove their shoes when walking through my house?

[MummyLizH]

Not sure if I'm particularly bothered by this because it's mainly the in-laws who do it, but most people know I expect shoes off as you walk through the front door.

I've mentioned it to dh a few times, I think he thinks I'm just picking at his parents behaviour, but it makes my blood boil... I clean and hoover my home, invite you round and you tread your dirty shoes all over the floor which me and my kids sit and play on (and my little girl crawls around on) . My parents have the decency to bring their slippers!

I think the difference in people is if you have a home or a house. I want guests to feel comfortable and would never ask them to remove shoes. I've got a home. I'm not bothered if the carpets get a bit mucky. They can be cleaned.

What about cats in shoes off homes? From what I see they spend a large amount of their leisure time rubbing their genitals on kitchen surfaces.

Cats on kitchen work surfaces..... yuck. That's a whole other issue and seriously gross.

"GravyAndShite

I've bought a stack of cheap but comfy slippers in various sizes which I keep by the front door. Makes it easier to enforce shoes off rule when you can give guests something to wear on their feet instead.

😷😷😷

Not. A. Chance."

I personally think it's rude and really common to walk through a persons house with your shoes on, you should always offer to take them off and if the home owner says it's ok then you can leave them on.

I always offer to take my shoes off. If they say it's fine.. I keep them on. But growing up shoes always came off the moment we got home.

I find it strange and rude that people would walk around someone else's home with their shoes on. We don't do it. We have slippers and my DD walks around barefoot and is all over the floors.

I have a shoe rack with a bench for you to sit and remove your shoes... it's not difficult. First thing I do when I get in.

I also find it strange people would be offended if I ask them to remove their shoes in my house... that I have to clean .

I just moved into my house 6 months ago. We saved for ages beforehand to decorate & I picked high gloss flooring & a very expensive carpet. I knew it wasn't the most sensible but that's what I wanted.

Most people (family & friends) automatically take shoes but I find guests like health visitors or very distant family don't. I don't ask them to either but it does cause me some anxiety!

Why does the price of the carpet have anything to do with it? It's only expensive if you couldn't afford it.
Don't penalise your guests for your own or budgeting and interior design
.
To whoever said they are planning shoes off for NYE party - genius! You won't have to host again in a while. Return party invites may be in short supply too.

To whoever said their carpet is causing them anxiety - please don't use that word to describe mild worry. It devalues the true condition.

I hope you'll be waiting up on Christmas Eve to make sure that Father Christmas takes off his reindeer shit-encrusted boots OP

I don't understand the 'I take my shoes off automatically in someone else's house because that's manners' posts. Some people think its very rude to take your shoes off in someone else's house. Why do your rules trump theirs? Most people I know would find it incredibly rude for a visitor to remove their shoes without being invited to. A bit...overly familiar? Although just to clarify, I'm not one of them.

But as for the passive aggressive 'oh you don't have to take your shoes off' and then being pissed off if people don't understand that what you mean is 'please take your shoes off'. Really? Don't play games with people and then be pissed off if they don't understand the rules that you haven't told them.

Graveyandshite - the carpet was expensive compared to all the other selection of carpets available in the shop. It has nothing to do with whether i can afford it or not. I saved for it, it's one of the most expensive ones I could see in the shop therefore I want to look after it & that means keeping dirt from shoes off of them. When you've worked hard to save for something I think it's only natural and a good thing to try & look after it as best as possible.

As for telling me not to use anxiety for mild worry as it devalues the condition, please don't tell me what I can & cant say. The only thing that causes me anxiety is cleanliness & tidiness & it is a genuine thing I am working through and trying hard to relax on. This is my anxiety however trivial or mild this may seem to you.

I'm sorry but this is fucking hilarious. Dinner parties with guests wearing bare / stockinged feet and their gorgeous heels piles up by the door; guests turning up with a handy pair of fucking slippers in their handbag, slippers provided for guests (washable of course!) to wear in the house. I have never heard the like. And you think it's normal!! ?? The world has gone fucking mad I tell you.

Shoes are part of an outfit. You simply can't tell people they have to take them off. Wrong wrong wrong on every level. And rude. And precious.

Unless it's cultural it's seriously bad form.

But thank you for giving me a fantastic laugh!

MrsDustyBusty forced intimacy? Really?

Between ppl who consider each other friends? If you're comfortable enough to come to my house then already a level of intimacy thats been achieved but I'm not allowed to see your socks/feet? It's not like I'm asking to suck on people's toes.

Pisses me off too. I always take shoes of in other people's houses (even if they say it's ok) If you enter a house and the owner is not wearing shoes then it's rude to leave yours on.

"questioningitall

I'm sorry but this is fucking hilarious. Dinner parties with guests wearing bare / stockinged feet and their gorgeous heels piles up by the door; guests turning up with a handy pair of fucking slippers in their handbag, slippers provided for guests (washable of course!) to wear in the house. I have never heard the like. And you think it's normal!! ?? The world has gone fucking mad I tell you.

Shoes are part of an outfit. You simply can't tell people they have to take them off. Wrong wrong wrong on every level. And rude. And precious.

Unless it's cultural it's seriously bad form.

But thank you for giving me a fantastic laugh!"

Don't forget common - which it undeniably is in the normal world - but yes, the entertainment factor is high. Poor souls who think this is the way to behave, though...

I'd find it really bizarre if someone took their shoes off when they arrived at my house- a bit like a guest starting to get changed into their pyjamas, properly weird and not polite at all.

Obviously I also wouldn't dream of asking someone to do so.

I wear shoes in my house all the time. Does this mean there might be microscopic particles of dogshit on the floor? Maybe. Do I care? Not a bit.

What sort of intelligent person wants people to take their shoes off in case the carpet gets spoilt?

I am pondering the rest of the house interior. I cannot imagine it will be anything less impressive than matchy-matchy everything, a feature wall of big pink blooms, a leather "couch" or even a pair, laminate floors and no bookcases.

Between ppl who consider each other friends? If you're comfortable enough to come to my house then already a level of intimacy thats been achieved but I'm not allowed to see your socks/feet? It's not like I'm asking to suck on people's toes.

I think there are degrees of friendship. If I was just calling around to someone in didn't know all that well, it would feel disconcertingly familiar to go around in my bare feet. I am also not keen to change into pyjamas because the people living in a house consider that more comfortable for them. It would be very uncomfortable for me.

I would never ask guests to take shoes off esp not coming for dinner or party. Its utterly ridiculous.

I have perused very expensive rugs, silk woven etc and I know if I was ever able to afford one, then it would be with the caveat that shoes will go on it, there will be wear and tear and If I cant accept that - I will not get one.

I have known enough angst from the people who have nice carpets already and I wouldn't want to waste a second of my time and life worrying about a rug in my own home.

I actually heard a lady the other day saying in a very jokey aggressive voice " I used to stand here saying ' don't you dare put your shoe on MY CREAM CARPET".

She seemed proud of herself . I dont understand the use of any materials in a home that cant be used, eg, carpets that cant be walked on - same with wooden floors - kitchen surfaces you cant put anything on because they scratch too easily, dining tables that cant be used properly due to scratching and so on. I want my house t work and function for me, I dont want to be a slave to protecting my house

Cara
Do you realise how badly you are coming across on this thread. It really smacks of trying too hard.

We are shoes off for cultural reasons, have woodfloors, nothing that matches, books everywhere and one sitting room dominated by the guinea pig cage. What narrow class little box do you want to put me in?

Between ppl who consider each other friends? If you're comfortable enough to come to my house then already a level of intimacy thats been achieved but I'm not allowed to see your socks/feet? It's not like I'm asking to suck on people's toes.*

I think this is also just about different groups of people having different norms. If a friend invited me round and I turned up to find she wasn't wearing shoes, I'd simply assume she hadn't finished getting ready, just as I would if she was in her dressing gown. It's not that I would be horrified to see her feet, just that the norm among my friends is that being fully dressed includes wearing shoes.

I'm not knocking shoe-taker-offers, but it's wrong to assume that taking your shoes off is universally acceptable- it isn't. (Obviously it's different if you've just walked through a slurry pit or something- in that situation I would take my shoes off but I would apologise for doing so.)

but it's wrong to assume that taking your shoes off is universally acceptable- it isn't

i agree.

I had party and parent came to collect child and started to take shoes off, big walking shoes lots of laces, I said not to worry and please come through ( our wooden hallway straight out into the garden) she said:

" No its OK I have been walking"
" I said its fine, if you would like to come in"
" I will just take them off"
" If you wouldn't mind keeping them on please the party is in the garden and you will need to put them back on, in two seconds, then back off, to come back in again, then on again at the door, honestly^ its fine to keep them on"

Unbelievable!!! Come in with your shoes and get your kid ! Don't impose your shoe rules on me. The end of the discussion felt - I was scummy somehow to let her in . Rude.

"mishmash1979

Pisses me off too. I always take shoes of in other people's houses (even if they say it's ok) If you enter a house and the owner is not wearing shoes then it's rude to leave yours on."

Well, obviously, I was not including people who have this requirement for "cultural" reasons. For heaven's sake surely that is understood.

"ChazsBrilliantAttitude

Cara
Do you realise how badly you are coming across on this thread. It really smacks of trying too hard.

We are shoes off for cultural reasons, have woodfloors, nothing that matches, books everywhere and one sitting room dominated by the guinea pig cage. What narrow class little box do you want to put me in?"

Well, obviously, I was not including people who have this requirement for "cultural" reasons. For heaven's sake surely that is understood.hmm

(Correctly linked this time...)