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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want guests to remove their shoes when walking through my house?

609 replies

MummyLizH · 13/12/2016 19:47

Not sure if I'm particularly bothered by this because it's mainly the in-laws who do it, but most people know I expect shoes off as you walk through the front door.

I've mentioned it to dh a few times, I think he thinks I'm just picking at his parents behaviour, but it makes my blood boil... I clean and hoover my home, invite you round and you tread your dirty shoes all over the floor which me and my kids sit and play on (and my little girl crawls around on) Angry. My parents have the decency to bring their slippers!

OP posts:
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8
dorisdog · 14/12/2016 18:38

I always take shoes off at other people's houses. Or at least offer to. I do live in a rural area. And in Wales! There's a lot of welly-wearing where I live. Everything seems to be wet and muddy all the time.

I don't tell guests to take shoes off, unless they do upstairs because it's all light coloured carpets. Downstairs it's floorboards, so less of an issue.

Tessabelle74 · 14/12/2016 18:54

I take my shoes off without asking, I feel it's common courtesy as carpets are bloody expensive! Most people visiting us know we have a young baby and a new carpet do take shoes off anyway, the only one who doesn't was the health visitor and I think she should know better. How would you feel if someone trod dog poo through your house as has happened to me with a child that was visiting? It's rude, ensure you have decent socks on when visiting and take your shoes off Angry

belgina · 14/12/2016 19:08

I'm a host copier. Personally I don't mind people keeping their shoes on. We have wooden floors & rugs and socks on wooden floors are not really comfy. I never really drilled it into my dcs, but somehow they are all in the shoe removal habit. I don't remove my shoes in my own house if I am having one of those in-out-in-out days, because I can't be bothered. Even on days I don't go out at all, I end up with an alarmingly large pile of dirt & dust when I do my daily floor sweep. So it doesn't come in with shoes. I think it's just 6 people + 2 pets living in a house that do it.
Basically to me, there are more important things to worry about. Have wood in the hallway and any dirt is easily cleaned up. Oh and I am from Europe and it definitely wasn't an automatic thing. More of an individual family thing.

Sladurche · 14/12/2016 19:10

In most other cultures they remove their shoes out of respect to the homeowner. It's only really in the UK that we wear shoes in the house and I think it's common. I keep slippers in the house for guests.

iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 14/12/2016 19:12

I find it a bit uncomfortable, especially at the home of a person I don't know well. If my shoes were wet or muddy I'd take them off anyway obviously.
My SIL used to insist on shoes off, fine except her carpet was the mankiest thing I have ever seen anyway. Our socks were black by the time we left! She was an odd one anyway, she once shouted at her/our nephew for leaning against her wall because he would make it dirty. The wall was undecorated, filthy and scribbled on by her own children!

IDontLookMyAge76 · 14/12/2016 19:28

I'm chinese so grew up taking my shoes off, also makes me uncomfortable wearing shoes in the house. I'm not precious about my floors, it's just a comfort thing with me, why do you need to keep your shoes on? It's like keeping your coat on when you're in for the night.

Also, I don't understand why it's rude to ask ppl to take thier shoes off, do you not want to be here? Are you planning on running away when I'm in the kitchen making tea? Why don't you want to be comfortable in my home?

e1y1 · 14/12/2016 19:33

Yes this has been done many times before (think I ended up getting roasted off someone on one :)).

YANBU - I absolutely HATE people dragging their dirty shoes across my carpets (irrelevant but it wouldn't be MN if I don't say they were v. expensive).

People drag their shoes over public toilet floors, supermarkets, pubs, etc; where there is piss, vomit, dog shit yada yada.

You want your carpets filthy crack on, but not on mine thanks - I'd rather people didn't visit if they mind taking their shoes off.

falange · 14/12/2016 19:38

I might take my shoes off. It I probably wouldn't unless they were muddy. I wouldn't expect to be asked to, I'd think it was pig ignorant. I'd be really miffed if I was expected to use slippers that other people also used.

bluebellsparklypants · 14/12/2016 20:39

With you op, your house your the one that cleans and uses it don't see why it should offend people coming into your home to ask them to remove shoes, I alway ask if going into others houses, it's just polite isn't it to respect other people's homes

Can you buy your ILS some slippers for their use?

piglover · 14/12/2016 20:51

Buy a doormat and make people use it. And actually I don't want to wear slippers used by someone else either.

EasternDailyStress · 14/12/2016 20:57

Yes, YABU. And yet another one of the anti-bac brigade I bet. No wonder everyone has allergies these days. Really do detest some people's obsession with cleanliness. A doormat is more than adequate (unless you want to kiss your floors)

LisaC7 · 14/12/2016 22:01

I saw my daughter run through a pile of puke on the street (too late to stop her). It all came off as she walked around. Except it hadn't really had it. All that vomit invisible to the eye still on those shoes. Shoes off in my house!!

NeverNic · 14/12/2016 22:32

We have doormats - inside and outside ones. I expect people to wipe their feet, but really wouldn't ask people to take their shoes off. We also have floorboards (with rugs), so actually tell people to keep their shoes on. Our floor is freezing and with the pushchair and pets, is never as clean as id like it to be.

Purple52 · 14/12/2016 22:43

I encourage guests to keep their shoes (not muddy boots!) on in our house!

spooniestudent · 14/12/2016 23:01

Shoes of at ours, I have cream carpets and want them to stay that way. If we're having a party it's different, because I'll expect to have a big clean through the day, but if its just friends or family popping round then I'll ask them to take there shoes of

MrsDustyBusty · 14/12/2016 23:05

Why don't you want to be comfortable in my home?

Some people find having their shoes off in someone else's home uncomfortable. It's a forced intimacy which many don't welcome.

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 14/12/2016 23:14

In my house it's shoes off in the dining room if you're going in the living room or upstairs, I'm not paying nearly £700 for brand new carpets to have the outside grime dragged onto them. My dog is banned from my living room, so are shoes. Dining room/kitchen areas, I'm not bothered about shoes, the floors are tiled and easily cleaned, and are wiped very often due to the dog being in and out of the garden.

My IL's do the same, walk straight into my living room with shoes on, without wiping their feet, but then had the audacity at the weekend to say 'there'll be no hot drinks put on the floor when our new carpet goes down' due to my niece knocking over a cup of coffee. ..... one rule for them, one rule for us!

MrsDustyBusty · 14/12/2016 23:17

You have a dog in your kitchen but you're worried about people in normal shoes?

Fortunatepiggy · 14/12/2016 23:20

My in laws do this too and it drives me mad but my mother in law also rarely wears socks/ tights and the thought of her bare feet is more horrifying. I'm going to buy her slippers when they stay at Xmas and say we've just had the carpets professionally cleaned so please can she wear the slippers instead of shoes when coming in. I think a lot of it is to do with how you were brought up my parents always take shoes off I have brought my son up the same and he will say ( because he is 3) mummy nana didn't take her shoes off which is difficult when I am asking him too. I also expect friends to take shoes off and most do although I do the fake " don't bother taking them off " when they come in but most take off anyway. I would be ( secretly) very pissed if they didn't!

GravyAndShite · 14/12/2016 23:21

I've bought a stack of cheap but comfy slippers in various sizes which I keep by the front door. Makes it easier to enforce shoes off rule when you can give guests something to wear on their feet instead.

😷😷😷

Not. A. Chance.

RoseGoldHippie · 14/12/2016 23:24

I originally thought YABU, however when I think about it, I ALWAYS take my shoes off when I go into someone else's house. Mmmm I'm not sure but am edging to the YANBU camp now!

DaveGrohlsMrs · 14/12/2016 23:24

I never ask people to take their shoes off when they come into my house but most people do. I think it might be because I rarely wear shoes when I'm at home so people think I expect everyone to take their shoes off. The reason I don't usually wear shoes when I'm at home is generally because I just didn't bother putting any on when I got dressed, not because I want to keep my floors clean! As far as I'm concerned people are welcome to take their shoes off when they come to my house and they are equally welcome to leave them on. I just want people to feel comfortable when they are here so whatever suits them best.

TwoGunslingers · 14/12/2016 23:29

I take my shoes off in my house and I change into "indoor" shoes at work (or walk around in my socks) but it doesn't bother me whether people wear shoes in my house or not. My DB insists I keep my shoes on because he hates feet actually Grin if you ask people to take off their shoes I think it's polite to do it.

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 14/12/2016 23:34

You have a dog in your kitchen but you're worried about people in normal shoes?

Yes, why is that a problem? Dog is not allowed in my living room, the same as shoes aren't allowed in my living room. He is mainly in our rather large dining room, rather than the kitchen anyway as our kitchen is tiny. It's not unreasonable to not want my lovely carpets ruined that have barely been down a year..........

Krampus · 14/12/2016 23:38

I don't care in our house, we have no carpets or rugs. We used to have rugs but after a few bouts of fleas and childen throwing up they never got replaced. I usually ask when entering someones house but there is a bit of playing it by ear. The obvious, it's a white carpet and I am wearing muddy footwear, yup take them off. Hard flooring, flat shoes, everyone is wearing shoes then will default to keeping them on. If I am asked to remove shoes, that's what I will do.