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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want guests to remove their shoes when walking through my house?

609 replies

MummyLizH · 13/12/2016 19:47

Not sure if I'm particularly bothered by this because it's mainly the in-laws who do it, but most people know I expect shoes off as you walk through the front door.

I've mentioned it to dh a few times, I think he thinks I'm just picking at his parents behaviour, but it makes my blood boil... I clean and hoover my home, invite you round and you tread your dirty shoes all over the floor which me and my kids sit and play on (and my little girl crawls around on) Angry. My parents have the decency to bring their slippers!

OP posts:
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Artandco · 14/12/2016 13:11

I don't have carpet! I just think it's rude and unhygienic. We have shoe racks so they aren't in a pile like you image. Dinner parties at ours are such a bore bare feeted people only come twice a week

CaraAspen · 14/12/2016 13:13

"Artandco

I don't have carpet! I just think it's rude and unhygienic. We have shoe racks so they aren't in a pile like you image. Dinner parties at ours are such a bore bare feeted people only come twice a week"

Bare feeted?Confused

Artandco · 14/12/2016 13:14

Shoeless, whatever

CaraAspen · 14/12/2016 13:15

Next time you see the grimy shoes or the slimy feet emerging from - yeah, you should think about hygiene! Urgh

CaraAspen · 14/12/2016 13:16

Barefooted. HTH

CaraAspen · 14/12/2016 13:16

CaraAspen

Next time you see the grimy shoes or the slimy feet emerging from them - yeah, you should think about hygiene! Urgh

GetOutMyCar · 14/12/2016 13:23

Having worked in a footcare clinic for years all I can say is 'No, no, no, no!'

Keep your fungus infected hooves inside your shoes!

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 14/12/2016 13:27

Jesus wept at the PPs who don't take their shoes off because the aristocracy don't - give your head a wobble when you're not too busy walking about with books on your heads cos' aristos got poise innit?- 😂

melj1213 · 14/12/2016 13:56

I really don't care if people wear shoes in the house ... the point of carpets and flooring is to be walked on, surely? If they can't cope with people tracking a bit of dirt on, then they're really not fit for purpose.

I don't wear shoes in the house and am barefoot most of the time but that's purely because I hate wearing shoes (and socks), to the point that if I have to nip into the back yard/to the neighbour (I live in a terrace) and it's a nice day, I have been known to forego them. I have been like this since I was a child, my parents used to have to bribe me to put my shoes on, and I'd still kick them off at any opportunity. Occasionally I will wear slippers, but thats only because I have slate flooring in my kitchen and tiles in bathroom and in winter, even with the heating on, they're freezing so I do it for practicality.

I live in a rural town but not once have I had people track crap into my house - but then most guests have the common sense to know "Oh, we've just been on a woodland walk in the rain and my shoes are really muddy, lets take them off at the door" or "We've been for a walk around town and we've not stepped in any visible mud/dirt, we'll just give our shoes a good wipe on the doormat". And if, after someone has visited, I notice it's particularly dirty, I just hoover it like I hoover most days anyway!

The entrance to my house is tiny - I live in a two up/two down terrace - and there's literally a square "hallway" just big enough for the front door to open before you're at the door in to my living room, and both of those areas are carpeted, so to remove shoes before you step on my carpet would require people to literally stand in the street to remove shoes, or stand in the open doorway (can't close the front door since you're in the way and only way to be out of the way is to step into the living room) on the "hall" carpet to remove their shoes before they stand on the exact same carpet in my living room ... hardly a welcoming entrance for guests, especially on bad weather days!

I would rather guests be comfortable than constantly being concious of mismatched/holey socks or smelly feet and anyone who comes into my house is more than welcome to wear shoes or not, as I care more for their visit than for my carpets!

CoteDAzur · 14/12/2016 14:08

"Barefooted. HTH"

Actually, the correct term is barefoot, I believe.

Loving the competitive snobbery, though Grin

Yoarchie · 14/12/2016 14:25

Someone who won't respect the fact that my house is shoes off isn't welcome back ever.

SeptemberFear · 14/12/2016 15:17

I don't wear shoes around my own house, mainly because I like to put my feet up on the sofa as often as possible.

However I would never tell a visitor to take their shoes off; it's rude and unwelcoming.

Carpets can be cleaned, fgs. This obsession with cleanliness is depressing. I used to have a job that involved going into people's houses, and in my wide experience, 'shoes off' houses also tended to have matching sofa cushions, rugs and curtains, a loudly-patterned 'feature wall', Venture canvases...and no books Wink

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 14/12/2016 15:18

It is polite to ask a host if s/he would like you to take your shoes off.
It is not polite to ask a guest to take his/her shoes off.

CaraAspen · 14/12/2016 15:24

"Barefooted. HTH"

Actually, the correct term is barefoot, I believe.

Loving the competitive snobbery, though grin"

Noooooooo!!!! I knew that!
Mea culpa...

CaraAspen · 14/12/2016 15:27

"Yoarchie

Someone who won't respect the fact that my house is shoes off isn't welcome back ever."

Wow. Do you have this sort of matchy matchy place:
"...and in my wide experience, 'shoes off' houses also tended to have matching sofa cushions, rugs and curtains, a loudly-patterned 'feature wall', Venture canvases...and no books wink"

bakingaddict · 14/12/2016 15:33

l find people who get upset about shoes off are generally a bit uptight and Hycianth Bouquet. For cultural reasons we are shoes off house but I don't get worked up if people want to leave them on. It's more important my visitors are comfortable and most guests have common sense as pp said

Anna275 · 14/12/2016 15:44

I never wear shoes inside my own house, but I prefer to keep them on in other people's homes. I tend to follow what the homeowners do, but I'm much more comfortable with my shoes on.

I would never ask a guest to take their shoes off. If I'm going to host guests it's my responsibility to clean up after them. It's not their job to keep my house clean when I've invited them over.

BringMeTea · 14/12/2016 15:57

Here it is again! I love that there is at least one person 'on the fence' about this. A rare breed.

Very rude to ask guests to remove shoes. Inexcusable in a party/dinner situation. As someone said; polite of guest to ask, rude of host to insist.

Unwrapped · 14/12/2016 16:00

'round for dinner, dressed up, tights, nice shoes, I'm certainly not prepared to pad about in just tights all night'

What's wrong with padding around in your tights? I genuinely don't understand the stigma of not wearing shoes at a party.
I've been to many formal parties where everyone removes their shoes at the door. You're all in the same boat. If it's a party at someone's home i expect to remove my shoes so I make sure my feet are presentable! No old plasters hanging off etc. Take a pair of indoor shoes or lacy socks that match your outfit if it bothers you.

We have expensive delicate rugs and fluffy white Icelandic sheepskins, do you think it's ok to step on those with outdoor shoes?

And no I don't wash my feet in the basin, only under the bath tap, and pat dry with loo roll. I would hope my guests have the initiative to wash their feet if they're sweaty/smelly, the same way I'd hope they'd feel comfortable to wash their hands or use the loo or brush their teeth. If they were flexible enough to get a foot in the basin why would I care? Presumably they'd clean it when they were done. How is washing your feet in the bathroom less hygienic than walking around in your outdoor shoes?

ElspethFlashman · 14/12/2016 16:16

Surely party shoes ARE indoor shoes? It's unlikely I'd get dog shit on my New Look sparkly sandals tottering merrily from the car to the door.

MistresssIggi · 14/12/2016 17:20

Quite. So, wear your shit-encrusted-germ-infested-plague-bringing shoes up to the front door, then switch them for the virginally clean party shoes.
Jobs a good un, surely? I expect the shoes off brigade would not be happy with that option either.

ginghamstarfish · 14/12/2016 17:55

OP you will not win this one. It's a very divisive topic! I too hate dirty outdoor shoes in the house, and for that reason now have hard flooring throughout, with lovely Persian rugs. Hate fitted carpet, so unhygienic. Inlaws keep indoor shoes here, and for anyone else I ask them to remove at the door. If tradesmen etc come I move the rugs out of the way, then it's easy to clean afterwards. I feel very odd wearing shoes in someone else's house. It's partly a culture thing - I lived in a country where taking shoes off at the door is routine, and so did DH, and now it's second nature to us.

Yoarchie · 14/12/2016 18:23

CaraAspen
No I don't live in one of those places.
Just basic light paint on the walls, ikea sofa, don't own any cushions or rugs, no canvases. Just a few pictures of kids on the wall and kids' drawings (and some books). It's a basic family home, we've worked round the clock and studied at weekends to get it. It's ours and we want it to be clean and nice for our kids who play on the floor. Like I said, people who don't take off their shoes aren't coming back. I've never hosted a dinner party so I don't have the problem of people coming dressed up and not wanting to remove party shoes.

CaraAspen · 14/12/2016 18:27

"ElspethFlashman

Surely party shoes ARE indoor shoes? It's unlikely I'd get dog shit on my New Look sparkly sandals tottering merrily from the car to the door."

Grin
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