To not be concerned for DD?

[Christinedonna]

My DD is almost 4 months old and has always been a fantastic sleeper, she's slept through without a feed since she was about a week old. Up until a few weeks ago she was having her last bottle at 8:30-9pm and waking up for her first the next morning at about 8:30-9am. Now she's having her last bottle at about 6-6:30pm and not having her first one the next morning until 10-11am. She's a perfectly happy& healthy baby and I'm soooo grateful for the sleep and that she's so laid back but others have questioned us. My dad is convinced this is not okay and it's not healthy to "let her" go that long without milk. I've never woken her up for a feed, I've always fed on demand (I know, shoot me). What do you think? Should I just be grateful and make the most of the quiet time or should I be concerned that she's going too long?

Size 1 teats

I meant "shouldn't" flow at a speed that covers baby?

Being distracted isn't a major issue but I'd have to be in a pitch black room for her to not find something to look at. A light above her head, the Christmas tree, the oven, the telly, a candle. She's very curious. I'm going to the HV tomorrow so will mention everything then, she doesn't cry a lot..barely at all really. When she's hungry (although I usually get a bottle to her before that point) and when she's tired (that'll last 10 minutes at most with her continuesly giving up because she can't be bothered to cry). She's very noisy the rest of the time though, excited screams, talking away to herself, laughing etc

I would definitely mention the new change in routine meaning she's now going 16hrs without fluids, how much she's sleeping and that sometimes she's only taking 3 x 6oz bottles during the day.

These could all be normal for her, but they can be symptoms of failure to thrive so may need keeping an eye on.

My DD started sleeping through from about 5.5 months and would go from 5.30pm when she had her last bottle to around 7-8am and would rarely want her milk before 9am (tried when she woke but would push it away). She had 5 8oz feeds in total and was on 80th centile. Also napped about 3 hours in the day too so about 16-17 hours sleep in total. We were out and about lots, at baby groups and seeing Nct friends. She just seemed to need a lot of sleep! At almost 11 months she still gets 14-15 hours a day.

She woke at I think it was 5 to 11 today, had a bottle and slept and has just woke up for her second bottle

So she slept through from 9 or 10 last night till after 2 pm. with a couple of interruptions when she had bottles - so 16 hours? I know all babies are different, and mine were little sods, but they slept around 8 hours at night and had one sleep of around 2-3 hours during the day. It may be because she's lacking in stimulus, so getting that pushchair back is a must, really. I would also be concerned whether her bones and muscles are developing as well as they could if she's sleeping so long - I doubt that it's a major issue but needs to be checked.

Just noticed how little milk she has overall. That would concern me I think. Combined with not leaving the house much she may become vitamin D deficient, particularly in winter. Apologies if this has been covered, haven't rtft.

She sounds lovely - bright, happy and active (apart from when she's sleeping!!). My dd stood early - she just couldn't wait. Had her hips xrayed and no displasia. She ended up being an early walker at 10 months.

Your HV can check her weight, growth and other milestones.

Getting out and about is necessary because you and baby need the vit D (even in the winter you get some), which combines with calcium makes bones stronger. If you think she is lacking in vit D you may want to discuss vitamin drops with your HV. I'd make a special effort to get out and about with her every day for an hour or so as it's really so important for bone growth.

Otherwise, I have no idea about the sleeping. I would make a table of her sleep pattern and add up the hours she is awake. There is a scale of 'normal' and if her dad's a sleeper then she may just take after him.

This site says by 5 months they can sleep for 10-11 hours at a stretch.
www.parents.com/baby/sleep/basics/understanding-baby-sleep-4-6-months/

But the HV is always the first port of call for any queries regarding baby that's non urgent - they have so much knowledge and advice to give you. See if you should be giving her vitamin drops too.

I think it is more concerning that you're only getting out once a week. Are you ok OP? You really need to get the pram back, maybe start going for walks? Are you getting shopping delivered? Do you need to rely on your ex for everything like medical appointments etc as that sounds really constrictive.

toptoe thank you xx
nerr as much as I don't really want to talk about me on this thread, I feel like everyone's going to blame DD sleeping a lot on being depressed/ getting it from me and that its my fault. In all honesty no I'm not okay but it's just one of those things. I've gone from having the perfect family and thinking I was going to spend my life with DDs dad and be a family for her, to on my own and having to rely on him for everything when really I want to be shot of him (obviously can't happen because of DD) but yeah, I have to book appointments and shop on days that he can take us, other than that I have shopping delivered. I don't have any friends to go out and socialise with so that makes it more difficult I guess. Il be okay, DD makes it all worth it

I will get the buggy back when I can put it in my car at xmas

Why doesn't your ex drop the buggy round in his car. You need it, he doesn't.

It's not healthy for anyone only to go out of the house once a week, adult or baby.

Please try and find a local mums and tots group, you can take baby at any age and it will do you the world of good to get and chat chat to other mums x

Xpost. Once you have the buggy you can go out to mother and baby groups and make friends.

I'm sorry it's so tough. I agree with the toddler groups. I started going to our library music session when my baby was tiny as it was a break (I basically spent all day breastfeeding so it was nice to do it somewhere else). I would also look up to see if you have a Children's Centre as they often have a number of groups and support. I knew no one when I had my daughter as we moved when pregnant so found these groups really good. Churches often have friendly baby groups too (even if they're called toddler groups it may be worth emailing as lots accept all 0-4s). For my local church groups it doesn't matter if you're religious. I would ask the health visitor tomorrow if she can recommend somewhere.

I really hope it gets better soon, I'm sure your daughter is fine, and if she is a bit underweight at least you'll know so can do something about it.

OP, you need to look after YOU as well. Like others have said store the pram in your lounge if needs be? Just to ensure you both get to escape the four walls.

Once you have the pram you are less reliant on the father, it also allows you to do bits of shopping, check out mother baby groups and go further afield? Yes, as others have said, essential for vitamin D, for both you and baby.

Why not ask about groups tomorrow? It won't hurt any, even if its just to see what's available.

I guess, regarding mood? You will know yourself if your mood dips? You've had lots going on of late, new(ish) baby, relationship breakup and also being isolated? All these factors will have an effect on how you feel.

Start by reclaiming that pram :)

I would be concerned about the lack of milk, and so much sleep. I'm not sure why, but it just doesn't seem quite "right" to me. I'd speak to a HV for advice to be honest, and tell them how you're feeling too. They can be very helpful :)

Now is the time to connect. With health services and other parents. It's hard but worth it.

You are letting your ex control when you can go out. Do you live rurally? Is there a reason why you can't walk or use public transport?

Baby socials are great for meeting other mums. I hated the idea of it at first but listening to other people who are in the same position really helps put things into perspective.

Hi OP. Glad to hear you are getting her weighed tomorrow. It's worth getting her checked out as her sleeping / feeding routines do seem a bit odd. If they say she's fine and not dropping centiles then you obviously just have a very easy baby (they do exist apparently).

OP, ii'm sorry if I missed it, but did you say why the push chair is in your ex's car, not with you?

Is your ex paying maintenance? It seems off that he can run a car whilst you have nothing.

Not sure where you're based, but I benefitted hugely from giving my health visitor a call when I was struggling to get out of the house and was very isolated. They referred me to Home Start and matched me up with a volunteer.

Best thing I did on mat leave. She came round once a week for the afternoon, we'd stick some crap on the telly, eat biscuits and I got grown up conversation. Definitely worth asking if you have something similar where you are, I know how overwhelming loneliness can be

Nobody said you're a slob, but spending your life sat in the house really isn't good for you - dressed and clean or not
Why can't you get the pram and walk/get the bus to places? Why do you always have to ask your ex?

I know it's hard, I've been through a break up recently myself and been left with 3 young children, but you can't just give up on life - you need to get out, you can nope around and cry when your DD is in bed (at night!)

When I was a baby, I did nothing but sleep, apparently. My mum used to have to wake me up to feed me nearly every bottle, then put me down for a play and I'd go straight back to sleep being woken up didn't hurt me or my sleeping

Sorry you are so isolated OP I hope talking to the HV/getting the buggy back helps

Concerning. When nephew went that long without feeds GP took it really seriously - he was ultimately diagnosed with severe jaundice. Have you sought medical opinion yet?