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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be concerned for DD?

211 replies

Christinedonna · 13/12/2016 13:12

My DD is almost 4 months old and has always been a fantastic sleeper, she's slept through without a feed since she was about a week old. Up until a few weeks ago she was having her last bottle at 8:30-9pm and waking up for her first the next morning at about 8:30-9am. Now she's having her last bottle at about 6-6:30pm and not having her first one the next morning until 10-11am. She's a perfectly happy& healthy baby and I'm soooo grateful for the sleep and that she's so laid back but others have questioned us. My dad is convinced this is not okay and it's not healthy to "let her" go that long without milk. I've never woken her up for a feed, I've always fed on demand (I know, shoot me). What do you think? Should I just be grateful and make the most of the quiet time or should I be concerned that she's going too long?

OP posts:
HarveySchlumpfenburger · 13/12/2016 14:54

There's probably a middle ground between getting up at 11 and waking your baby at 7am. There's no particular reason you would have to do a7-7 routine as long as what you have works for you.

Original poster
Christinedonna · 13/12/2016 14:55

letsgetready thank you! It doesn't seem like she's sleeping a lot to me as she awake later than other babies and I spend alot more awake time with her in the evenings as others. I really appreciate everyone's help but some people have made it seem a lot worse than it is. I'm getting her weighed tomorrow, more from my curiousity and I'm sure il have a little cry after that my baby has got so big!

OP posts:
Original poster
Christinedonna · 13/12/2016 14:58

& hats off to everyone that's used to getting up at 5,6 or 7am but neither of us are and if we're both happy during the day after a nice sleep at night I don't see the problem. Anyone that thinks "waking up at 11" is far too late probably got their baby to sleep at 7pm the night before. When DD doesn't get off until 11, sometimes 12pm, an 11am wake up is fine by me.
I'm not ranting at everyone as I appreciate the advice just some haven't read as much as others and are quick to jump in

OP posts:
HarveySchlumpfenburger · 13/12/2016 15:00

It would be worth noting down what she is doing in terms of feeding and sleeping. 16 is within the bounds of normal, but it does sound from some of your posts like she may be getting more than that.

DearMrDilkington · 13/12/2016 15:00

Come back and let us know how you get on tomorrow. Hope it all goes well.

& get yourself out and about more!Flowers

LaPharisienne · 13/12/2016 15:01

I don't get it... if you're not worried, why post?

plimsolls · 13/12/2016 15:02

nevlet would you be able to give more details? I find your post incredibly worrying. A baby can be that seriously ill without any symptoms whatsoever bar feeding less? Mine is ebf and actually I would have no idea how many oz she takes, I could only guess based on length of feed but that's very inexact regarding supply and intake. My GP wouldn't give me a second minute if I took a baby in with no symptoms- if nappies are ok, she's alert, and not dehydrated looking he'd have me out the door. How did you manage to get any investigation? (I'm not disbelieving by the way, just intrigued and concerned for other babies!)

Mouseinahole · 13/12/2016 15:05

You need your buggy love, it's no good in your ex's car! Can you not fold it out of the way somewhere? She is having a lot of sleep for such a tiny baby but my dd is in her 40s now and I still have the book where I wrote down sleep/feed pattern. At four months she slept 6:30pm to 7ish in the morning. She had a 6ox bottle at 7 slept 8:30 to 10 then another 6oz milk. Out for a walk or visit till 12 then longish sleep (varied from 1 to two hours) then 7/8oz bottle and awake till 5:30 feed, bath, top up feed and asleep by 6:30. Same amount of sleep but more broken up.

Tweasels · 13/12/2016 15:08

I think to be fair to you OP, I'm coming at this as a parent who had to get an older child to school so everyone being up and fed by 8 was essential.

If your routine works for you and she's not dehydrated and getting the recommended amount of milk, it doesn't matter. I would try and get out more though - just for your own sanity Flowers

NoCapes · 13/12/2016 15:09

Tbh your whole routine doesn't sound very good - you don't get up till 11am, only get out once a week, and your baby sleeps all day?
What do you do when she's asleep all day? It all sounds a bit depressing tbh

You need to get up and about more, stimulate her mind and her senses (and your own!) have a chat with people, and sleep at night time - not all day

PrivatePike · 13/12/2016 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingtobeawesome · 13/12/2016 15:10

Being too flexible can be issue in my experience.

It may be positive you're so chilled but this needs checking out imho.

BlueFolly · 13/12/2016 15:11

Tbh your whole routine doesn't sound very good - you don't get up till 11am Confused getting up at 11 sounds great!!!

Pineappletastic · 13/12/2016 15:12

My DD is 3 months so a bit younger, but goes to sleep between 9 and 11 and wakes up for the day between 8 and 10am, so 13 hours in a block. She does wake at about 2/3am and 6/7am for feeds, but she's breastfed so that's different.

Good luck tomorrow OP and go from there, I'm sure she's fine though and you're just very lucky.

I'd echo what others say about getting out more though, if you don't get the car for Chrimbo maybe look into a fold-away pushchair (you can get ones they can go in before 6 months, but you're not far off now anyway). I don't think being reliant on your ex will be good for your MH in the long run :(

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 13/12/2016 15:12

Babies and small children can be very good at looking well even when they are ill. I think it's largely the reason why doctors are usually quite happy to check them over just in case even if a parents concerns might only seem like a little niggle.

Original poster
Christinedonna · 13/12/2016 15:13

I get up before 11, I keep an immaculate house so with a baby aswell I'm never bored or moping. We go to bed way earlier than she sleeps but she's a chatter box and likes to play and keep me up at bed time. (I don't mean I play with her, I mean she shouts and laughs and tricks me into laughing at her as she doesn't want to sleep) I get dressed every day..I'm not a slob

OP posts:
HermioneJeanGranger · 13/12/2016 15:16

Getting up at 11am is fine if you do something with your day, but I know when I had bad depression or when I've been struggling, the tendency has been to stay in bed all morning and then use it as an excuse not to go anywhere.

If OP was then getting out to the park, for a walk, to baby groups or just going to her mum's/friends, people wouldn't be so concerned, but it's not good for anyone (new mum or not) to only get out of the house once a week.

HermioneJeanGranger · 13/12/2016 15:17

X-post re. waking up. I still think you need to get your buggy back and get out more, though. Sitting at home all day isn't good for either of you.

Original poster
Christinedonna · 13/12/2016 15:20

I will get the buggy back when I can put it in my car at xmas

OP posts:
Nevlet · 13/12/2016 15:20

Plimsolls he is bottle fed so I knew over a few days he was eating increasingly less than usual. People kept telling me he was fine if he has BF I wouldnt know etc. He started sleeping hours at at a time in the day which wasn't how he usually is. I just felt he wasn't right. Took him to walk in drs we saw a nurse was completely dismissed. Refused to leave until we saw a Dr. They took his temperature again (was 37.5 previously which I kept getting told was fine but his was always low 36 area since birth) this time was 39 so he was admitted for investigation straight away. Blood urine tests and a lumbar puncture later showed the infection and at a level where they said his immune system was attacking itself. This was at 2 weeks old. Spent 6 days in hospital on IV then about 9 weeks of daily antibotics while they investigated if he had any renal problems or damage. He is now 15 weeks old and totally fine. That said I will always trust myself if I ever feel he isn't right again.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 13/12/2016 15:20

Baby getting up at 11 sounds like perfect time to get up if you want to wash dress shower have breakfast and get a few bits done around the house to me.

Yamadori · 13/12/2016 15:24

DO NOT - REPEAT - DO NOT WAKE HER UP FOR A FEED!!!!

Unless, that is, you want her to stop sleeping through, and you will be overjoyed to be woken up in the middle of the night for at least the next two years...

Let sleeping babies lie Grin

If she's hungry she'll wake up of her own accord. (Should she have health issues or be severely underweight then that is another matter obvs)

Miserylovescompany2 · 13/12/2016 15:29

If baby is distracted by the tree? Try a different room with less visual stimulation?

I couldn't get away with Tommee tippee bottles, prior to baby taking herself of all bottles, I found the best one for her were the Doctor Brown ones. The teat should flow at a speed that it covers or overwhelms baby either? So maybe a fault with the teat?

Just to be on the safe side and to air on the side of caution, why not give the HV a quick ring? If she is concerned? She'll either come out or ask you to take baby to either GP or out of hours.

I'm guessing you were concerned enough to initiate the thread in the first instance? So go with your gut instinct and make sure all is well.

Just a thought? Do you have your heating on all day? Because if you do, this might be making baby more sleepy?

Does the LO cry a lot?

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/12/2016 15:31

Why does the ex get the car and the buggy?

RocketPockets · 13/12/2016 15:32

My ds is 6 months and he is still on size 1 years, I haven't changed as we've not had any issue with them whereas we have had issues with other sizes. When he was 4 months he would only have 4 6oz bottles a day as he didn't wake for a bottle in the night and if he had anymore he would be very sick, we've never had an issue with his weight, he's always followed just above the 50th centile. I asked the HV when he was 4 months and had dropped to 4 bottles that I was worried he wasn't getting enough fluid and she said he could have a couple oz of cooled boiled water if I wanted but he was doing absolutely fine and not to worry! He now has 3 meals and 3 bottles a day, goes to sleep at 730 wakes around 8 and goes back to sleep for an hour or two by 10 and has 2 naps in the afternoon.
It's definitely worth getting out and about more, and if you want to move her bedtime forward a friend of mine did it by putting her ds down 15 mins earlier every few days and eventually he got to a time she preferred Smile