Dad on bus 'look at all these people sitting who won't let a child have a seat'

[Pipistrelle40]

Just that really, he got on with two boys aged about 10 and 8. People looked at each other and laughed. Old enough to stand surely.

Misery You probably won't understand this because you don't understand life with a disability. However, I shall enlighten you. Basically, the priority seats are near to the entrance and exit of public transport so the person with a disability does not need to walk far because often, people cannot, especially not on a moving bus of train. That is why they are where they are. Hope that goes some way to explaining why your need to stand next to your child does not take priority.

If he didnt ask anyone to move, then he was being a knob. If he did ask then there might have been a reason, 3 of my DC of an invisable conidtion (with one of them having 2) and they all require seats. I often ask for a seat whitout saying its beacuse they have addtional nedds as this (especially for the oldest) this can be embarrassing. If they so no i say its addtional needs. But often they've still been told no, they look fine, children can stand. and thats horrible

I remember reading something about how they were starting to train town planners & the like about what it is to get about when you're elderly: they had people wear rubber gloves, snorkelling goggles, ear plugs, and something to restrict the easy movement of ankles/knees. An elderly person can be quite as impaired as someone with mobility or other disabilities. And feel very vulnerable because of that.

Yet we all have to hope that we'll be elderly ourselves. Because the alternative is worse!

Having a pram is not a fucking disability.

And Bishop is right, there have been tons of threads on here featuring pram huns who truly believe having a pram is on par with having a disability.

That's why I don't ask begging as I don't want to have to share my dcs' medical issues on the bus or tube - especially in front of the dcs. We are lucky in that we generally don't have to stand too long because of our location and many are kind enough to offer them a seat even though we haven't asked.

But if a disability is hidden how are others meant to know the seat is needed

As I said, that's why I don't ask. I don't feel that I should have to explain my children's medical conditions to strangers on a daily basis in front of them on the bus or on the tube. Therefore we simply wait for an available seat if needed. Do you not see the indignity involved with that?

If we were in a priority seat, it would be because they were really strugging, in which case an explanation wouldn't be needed as it would be very very obvious. It would also be obvious if he was in his wheelchair. I do carry their DLA award letters, so if need be, I would show them to someone official, but I'm not going to just disclose private information unless it's absolutely necessary. In most cases, it's not.

ghost beggingbehind said she has told people and they still don't give seats.

Do you not see the indignity involved with that?

I do, and I don't ask for a seat for the same reasons as you. But ghost's question is still valid. On a good day I could (and would) give up my seat to someone who needed it more, but if I can't see that they need it more then how do I know?

Oh yes if people don't move after being told then they are very selfish.

I don't often sit but if I do I sit on the priority seats. When I carry both baby's as there is a bit more room in them seats. But I stand if someone needs them.

Wtf theres only 1 wheel chair space on the bus. So there should only be 1 seat then and 1 buggy space. 1 elderly people space and so on

Well, no, given that in the nature of things there will be more elderly people travelling on a bus than wheelchair users, and that arrangement would leave most of them fighting it out for seats with 20 able-bodied people.

I don't know I'm on the fence with that one I think children have as much right to a seat as an adult does. Unless there's a disability/elderly/pregnant/ holding a baby. I don't think they should have to offer the seat because theit children.

I have two children with disabilities aside from the child in the pram. Thank you for the enlightenment crashdoll?

I do stand on many occasions, just so someone can sit on the outer edge of two seats?

There will always be disabled/elderly/less able/parents with small babies travelling on the bus. In an ideal world the journey should be equally accessible by all. After all is not PUBLIC TRANSPORT?

What kind of pushchair do I have? A bugaboo buffalo, which allows me to do a 6 + mile walk to my sons school (1.6 miles 4 x per day) get shopping in the underneath basket and transport my sons school gear. He has autism and a severe learning disability. I've had other pushchairs which haven't withstanded the 30 mile walk each week. I don't have the time to double back and swap before doing the return school run.

Yes, I can stand, however, a seat would be preferred? Because I bloody knacked!

deep I was replying about a post on fb where someone said people in wheel chairs want equal rights. So my pram gos before you I was here first type post. So if that person wants to take equal rights then that means same for everyone. Or 1 seat for xyz. As that's what where chairs have to put up with.

The worlds gone mad, when I was that age my mam made me give up my seat to adults (your legs are younger than theirs was her phrase). I'm happy to give up seats to mums with babies and toddlers, but children who can stand? Complete madness!

Perhaps entitled Dad should have paid for a cab for his precious darlings?

Misery You're still not getting it, you think that because you're tired, you can sit where you want. Well, you can't. Priority seats are for those who need them.

I do stand on many occasions, just so someone can sit on the outer edge of two seats?

So sit on the inside seat.

Yesterday on the crowded bus I was on there were three older women who all thought their shopping was entitled to a bag!!! I walked down the aisle stopped at one of them and said "Excuse me" She looked horrified at having to move them and made such a drama it being so heavy ..... I waited!

It doesn't matter if you tell people or not. My mum doesn't even have hidden disabilities. She's visibly disabled. As I mentioned earlier, she still had someone telling her that they deserved the seat more than her, even down to discussing who had had the most operations!! 😂 she'd laugh about it now but it wasn't funny at the time.

Like ginger said. I'm not going to go into mine and DCs medical issues to justify a seat either when needed, or my own. I still make both of them move when I see someone elderly get on on a packed bus. Call me old fashioned but I do it out of respect. As mentioned earlier, the elderly lady who I made my DS with ASD move for because I'm not precious thanked me. DS sat on my lap for the rest of the journey quietly singing jingle bell rock. I kept trying to shush him given the numerous threads I've read on here, until another lady turned around and told him he had a beautiful singing voice and he beamed with pride. He's been practicing his Christmas play lines since the beginning of October. All 2 of them.

But when parents assume their children have greater need of a seat purely because they are children, then the child never learns and the whole system of courtesy to other commuters starts to fall apart and eventually you get to the stage of people resenting the elderly for daring to sit in the priority seats

Best post on this thread. Thank you for putting it so neatly, Francis.