Dad on bus 'look at all these people sitting who won't let a child have a seat'

[Pipistrelle40]

Just that really, he got on with two boys aged about 10 and 8. People looked at each other and laughed. Old enough to stand surely.

Crashdoll, there have been over priority seats when I've been travelling. Surely common sense comes into play? Sit in the ones that don't take up an entire pushchair bay?

So tomorrow I have a 12 mile round trip, travelling with a 15YO autistic teen and a baby in her pram. Does the autistic teen qualify for priority seating? A child that requires constant supervision? (The teen also has a back condition and balance issues...appointment next week to investigate those issues further) he is less able to stand for obvious reasons. So if like many a journey, an elderly passenger decides to sit on the outer edge of two priority seats or slap bang in the middle of the flip up/down seats which double as the pushchair bay...what would you suggest I do?

Am I within my rights to kindly ask the person to move along their seat? Or should I force a child with a hidden disability to stand thus causing him distress?

heavenly it's not just older women though. I had a young woman refuse to let me sit down on the last seat in a busy park in the summer. She was 'saving' the seat for her son who was too busy playing to need it, despite me being visibly in pain. Some people are arseholes. On the other hand I have seen lovely polite young mums tell a bus driver to wait whilst they folded their prams down so a wheelchair could get on.

There's always going to be one entitled idiot that gives young mums / elderly etc a bad name.

There is no excuse not to ask, anyone can really need a seat at some point. DH is pretty fit but the other summer started to feel really ill on the tube, he asked for a seat and several people rushed to give him one.
Saying something like "my son can't stand for long periods" would be enough for the nice people - the entitled ones wouldn't care if you were on crutches.
My DC tended to sit, often one sat on another's lap.

oh GingerIvy I didn't read your post on a previous page but i empthasize with your DC alot they ave Ehlers-Danloss (Hypermobility) with one of them having dyspraxia! I wrote a thread a month or two ago (diffrent name) about one of the DC being shamed on a bus (on his own) and struggling to explain his difficulties. I might PM you if thats okay we share simialre experince my DC sometimes use wheelchiars (1 uses it often, 1 hardly every it varies!) SN can really affect transport esepcially my DC with Dyspraxia struggles in busy situations and has to sit by the window with me or an older DC next to him its the only way he is comfortables.
Also i do agree (with having children who are wheelchair uses) that actually they take priorty for WHEELCHAIR bays and i will ask for a mum to move IF POSSIBLE to let my DC "Park up". I think its right.

begging if a mum is in the wheelchair space you are well within your rights to ask them to move for your DC who uses a wheelchair.

Some people think im not Awaywith and i do feel funny asking. I asked a mother to move you had a baby and a tot. They refused as DS could park up anywhere we had to get of the bus, (although the driver asked the mother to move she did and folded here pram up (after swearing at us)) Ds was upset after that, he hates using his wheelchair anyway it knocked his confidence. Most are happy to, some say things under there breaths.
Misery However much i sympathise with prams and multiple tot i havent like your atitude throughout this thread. Id like to ak you this. Would you move for my DS. (If he was in his Wheelchair or not). Again i have empathy for your sitatuion and can (very slightly) understand a bit where your coming from.

Ment to say DS COULDNT park up

begging I would mover for your ds...I move for everyone.

Thats lovely ghost

I think miserys children should be able to sit in priority seats if they have disabilitys. I don't think she should have to justify that.

I'm not sure if misery said she has a baby in a pram. And also a child with disabilities. If that's the case maybe it is to difficult for her to fold the buggy. Hold baby and look after child with disabilities.

We try to plan around busy times, so we're not on public transport during rush hour usually, for example. And the morning trips aren't nearly as much of a problem as the afternoon trips home - as by then they're exhausted, even if we've only been our a short time. Next week when we have to go into London for rush hour, I will probably leave the house early so we're not travelling during the busiest time. We can sit and eat breakfast while we're waiting then. If you can plan ahead and plan around things, it's much easier to find seats as you can travel when it's not quite as busy.

I must have missed the bit about diaabilities, i have only read posts about, the pram, being diffcuilt to fold and hold on to and having mutiple tots. I must be rubbish at following and no she shouldnt have to justify it but t brings a new dilema i have never encounted. What happens if a mother with a pram and has a child (or realitive) with a disabiltiy what do they do then if a wheelchair user comes on. Geninue question i certanitly wouldnt no what to do with DS or what Misery would do.

I have asked an many a occasion (politely) if someone wouldn't mind if I sat on the inside seat. Only to be told "it's priority seating?"...so I stand? I don't plonk myself on the elderly persons lap? Nor do I make a song and dance...

Dramatic? Try travelling with an autistic teen and a baby, see how you get on? We don't get a choice in this. He has at least one appointment per week that requires the use of a bus?

Lets get it straight, I'm to tuck baby under my arm, fold the pram with my teeth whilst holding the autistic teens hand...and somehow drop-kick the magically folded down pram into a non existent luggage area...and for my next party trick??

BTW, the teen qualifies for a priority seat. Does he always sit in one? Rarely? He usually stands next to me, which causes him actual physical pain, not to mention anxiety? Just so we don't upset the elderly person who evidently requires two seats, one for their backside and the other for their entitled attitude? Fair? Hell no...

Just tossing a suggestion out there, but if you take the baby out of the pram, is your 15yo able to fold it (with some guidance ahead of time so he knows how to do it)? My dcs likely could, if we worked on it at home a few times first. That way you could hold the baby while he folded up the pram. Obviously I don't know what his capabilities are, but just in case he could, it's a thought.

Misery we are being fairly polite. Dramatic yes you are being, Its NOT just you that has to travel with bains and childen with SEN/disabilte. I have 1 DC in a whelchair, another who sometimes is, a third with Dyspraxia (which has sensory issue like the child you travel with) and a fourth who is only 3. GingerIvy has children with hyspermobilty as weel. Its not just you there a thousands of parents who have to take journeys look at the SN boards. How bout asking someone to help you fold pram or hold baby (as PP sugested) If the teen "qualifies" for a seat ask. As a lot of poeple have said on this thread, if no on one moves you can ask if you dont feel able thats okay. I know its diffcuilt alot of us find it diffcuilt but you should be able to fold a pram on a bus if not why dont you look for a second-hand buggy or borrow one that does fold if your using the bus so much

I feel the title of this thread should be changed soon.

Beggingbehind, I will give you an example. One hourly service, 6 mile trip home. I have both autistic children plus the baby in pram. We had already missed one bus, both autistic children were tired and irritable. We waited 45 minutes for the next bus, we were at the front of the queue. Just as we were about to board a child in a wheelchair joined the queue. The bus was an old model with only one disabled bay. I left my place in the queue as the disabled wheelchair user needed it more.

We waited for the next bus, one VERY long day was had by all. I have always given priority to wheelchair users.

I'm sorry you and your son had to suffer that horrendous woman. Her behaviour was utterly appalling.

The sign on the buses on my local service says 'Please offer your seat to disabled,pregnant or elderly people,or anyone less able to stand than you are'. It does not say 'offer your seat to the children of entitled twats'.