Dad on bus 'look at all these people sitting who won't let a child have a seat'

[Pipistrelle40]

Just that really, he got on with two boys aged about 10 and 8. People looked at each other and laughed. Old enough to stand surely.

I think it would look a bit ridiculous if a 30 year old were actually to accept a seat offered to them by a 10 year old, in all honesty.

I was on a very packed tube once late at night...there were some youngish kids aged about 7 or 8 sat on each other's laps and an older child with them. It actually was scarily packed everyone getting squashed. An old couple in front of me moaned very loudly that the young boys were not giving up their seats for them. I told them to shut up and leave the kids alone. Entitled old people pppft

Good wind-up Kisa. I' m not biting, but I bet some will.

OK - I'll bite. Why make rude comments about small children on a dangerously packed tube train when at that time of night there would have been mainly young adults taking up the seats? Why pick on small children rather than all the adults who were capable of giving up their seats for the elderly couple? Because they were smaller and more easily bullied? I would have given up my seat in preference of turfingnthe children out of their seats on a tube train that was that packed, but then I remember as a child being squashed between adults with nothing to hold onto and being nearly dragged out of the tube when they all got off, knocked over and stood on. It was terrifying.

if a 30 year old were actually to accept a seat offered to them by a 10 year old

A polite 10 year old will offer their seat to any adult, a polite adult will gratefully accept the child's kind offer. (assuming no extenuating circumstances)

Wow we really are a bunch of selfish sods, let the kids sit down. Adults can get of their fat bums and stand for once, I have seen this with all sorts. Oh and many disabilities are not obvious.

Back in the 70s when I was a teenager I always offered my seat to anyone elderly. One day I did so and there were no other seats on the bus. The driver threw me off as there was a rule then that nobody was allowed to stand. Even though I had paid for a ticket. Nobody on the bus said a word. This was in Wallasey on the Wirral.

My DS (9) has ASD and gets very anxious if forced to stand on public transport because when we're in cars were supposed to wear seat belts, so his logic is why are we any safer on a bus/train that we don't need seat belts? I can kind of see his logic.

That said, I have never demanded he has a seat. When he was smaller he sat on my lap, now he's bigger I tell him hold on tight and that it's part of the fun (parental lies lol). He usually looks miserable the whole time he has to stand. We do get offered seats quite often. If it's a short journey I might say no thanks, but if its longer then I'll happily accept it for him.

I have invisible disabilities too, so would prefer a seat myself. When I see someone else getting on who appears to be struggling, I still suggest he gets on my lap and crushes me . I've had other parents with kids in their own seats look pretty surprised when we do that and not do the same .

I wonder if it's a British thing? Some other cultures do appear to hold their kids in higher esteem, and the older generation here often still subscribes to the 'seen and not heard' principle.

Whatever the case, it's easy to not be a knob if you try.

My DS has a (poorly) hidden disability. I wouldn't dream of expecting anyone to give up their seat for him on the tube. It's good practice for his balancing imo.
It is kind when someone does give up a seat and we always say thank you and smile - he is much safer sitting down. But a child landing on you is a great way to start a conversation :)

I agree oops. Since when were kids lesser than adults? I thought we had moved on from that? I don't place them on a pedestal either but I do think they should have equal rights.

Surely, if they are young/small enough to need a booster seat in the car then they should fall into the category of people that able bodied adults should give up their seats for?

Otherwise, to be frank, it's a bit hypocritical as a nation to insist on booster seats in cars for safety but to decide that some perceived etiquette overrides safety on public transport

It's not hypocritical at all, it's because compared to cars buses have very few accidents and hardly any high speed collisions because they don't tend to go very fast. (Unlike coaches which do have seatbelts these days.)
Regulations like these tend to be strongly evidence based.

Did you see the news about the tram the other week? It's a bit naive to think accidents can't happen, plenty of buses round here are doing at least 30 mph.

I am totally in support of booster seats by the way! I just think that logic needs to be extended to buses. Safety should over ride comfort/ pandering to adults who think they should simply have a seat as they are somehow of elevated status to children

Tube and trains go pretty quick and can and do brake suddenly.

Buses also swing around corners, and put their foot down while people are still making their way to standing / sitting areas - I've seen plenty of people fall over on the bus!

Maybe it depends where you live, as so many things do.

I also think that while it might not actually be dangerous, it's quite scary for a little one to be in some of the more rush-hour situations where people are pushing to get on, and they can't reach to hold on.

Like I say, people on my commute tend to get up for smaller children so it's not just a judgement I make, it's pretty widely felt to be the right thing to do.

A couple of years ago I got onto a packed train (local light railway service). I was first on as I'd been waiting a while, having just missed the previous train pulling out, so I was on the platform as the doors opened. A man with his DS ran onto the platform just as the doors were about to close and boarded the train. Meanwhile I'd spotted a seat empty and made for it. As I sat down, I heard the man say - loud enough for everyone in the carriage to hear - 'Sorry son, the nasty lady doesn't want to let you sit down'. He then proceeded to tell everyone within earshot that 'It must be race a five year old to the last seat day'. The kid started to cry because he was oh so hard done by, and the father ostentatiously comforted him.

I have rheumatoid arthritis and needed to sit after standing for so long waiting for the train. My disability is more or less hidden on a good day, but on a bad one - as that day was - I walk with a stick. And I'm incapable of 'racing' anyone, even a five year old. To say I felt humiliated is an understatement. I sat and cried all the way home because I'm a soft shite while he continued to comfort his son and bemoan to the carriage the selfishness of some people.

As I got off the train I very quietly and tearfully informed him that I was disabled and needed the seat, and I wasn't a nasty lady, just ill. Also, as he was behind me when I boarded the train, I didn't even know him and his DS were there, much less that they wanted the seat. He put his hands up in a 'back off' gesture and shouted that I needed to leave him and his DS alone or he would call the police.

I'm sure the police would have sped there in seconds to defend a spoiled child and a rude father from the weepy, limpy old bird with a walking stick.

I think the police would have given him short shrift, what a selfish man.

Where was his sense of shame, not a good role model

My fiancé is a PC. Would have the man straight into the back of a cop car for intimidation and being an arse!

His words.

yeh I seriously doubt it Tinsel, tbh. I don't think being an arse is a criminal offence.

I can dream can't I?

yes...

I offer up my seat to anyone who looks like they need it. If the bus is really crowded I stand with dd5 so she doesn't get squashed or have her face in a strangers arse and dd2 stays seated because she's a slippery snake and wont hold my hand so it's very unsafe for her to stand. At 8 and 10 children are more than old enough to stand. My mam brought me up to always offer my seat to elderly/disabled/pregnant people and I will do the same with my girls.

Children on trains and buses are safer standing up? That's a new one :/ Great excuse though I guess!