Dad on bus 'look at all these people sitting who won't let a child have a seat'

[Pipistrelle40]

Just that really, he got on with two boys aged about 10 and 8. People looked at each other and laughed. Old enough to stand surely.

Fan overheard a convo the other day between an older woman and two younger women (they take same journey every day) where older woman was saying how disgraceful it was that people rarely gave up seats for pregnant women nowadays (on that train I counted at least 3 people who did do it) and how unformfortable it was for pregnant women to travel, surely if you're that pregnant find an easier route or don't travel! I've also seen baby on board badges on women who certainly don't look pregnant or 2-3 months if that. It almost seems like a badge of a secret society I am pregnant therefore you must or should give up your seat for me.

This was when Southern trains happily cancelled half their lines going to Milton Keynes and had train drivers/conductors strike on top of that so we were even more squashed like sardines both on the Southern trains services that did run or the other TFL ginger overground line.

I have had 2 incidents on tube recently where people have stood up and offered my 10 & 7 yr old seats, properly restored my faith in the loveliness of most people but I was surprised (and declined).

Hypermobility and dyspraxia, thank you very much. They have poor balance and the hypermobility affects joints. My 10yo has been trying to go without his wheelchair in an attempt to be more mobile.

Do you feel better now after being snide when I very clearly stated further up thread it was due to hypermobility?

I bet dad never bothers to do the bus journey with the children and consequently has no idea what a knob he is.

This!

Also, I understand when posters suggest people who need seats should ask. But I think there's resentment (well, I certainly feel it) that one should have to ask. Politeness & manners is about thinking of others before yourself - that's what I was taught. So no-one should have to ask - we should look out for others & help so they don't need to ask.

Francis busy public transport toddlers should sit on parents lap, non busy they can sit where they like.

What took the biscuit for me (trying a new route by bus will be driving next week!) was I took the bus and one woman (not elderly) insisted in sitting in a seat high up near the back with her shopping trolley (empty) next to her taking up a window seat (yes the trolley!) on a bush commuter bus. No one dared to ask her to move it.

Purple of course I realise SN can affect children so it's unsafe for them to stand but in this case it would not surprise me if that were her excuse.
What do you mean her "excuse"? The tone of your posts is all wrong, as if the poster is making up SN or SN can't be a valid reason for needing a seat.

Francis I missed that so apologies to Ginger.

SuperFlyHigh That's exactly it - the badge of smugness frankly.

I commuted in London when pg before the badges were introduced. I got seats when I was showing generally and didn't when I didn't. I have asked for a seat only once - when I wasn't pg and felt faint.

I don't mind the badge per we - just use it when you need it and be sensible about it!

one woman (not elderly) insisted in sitting in a seat high up near the back with her shopping trolley (empty) next to her taking up a window seat (yes the trolley!) on a bush commuter bus. No one dared to ask her to move it.

Why on earth not?

I just can't understand on these threads "and no-one offered me a seat". Why not just ask?!

I rarely travel by train. When I do I am plugged into iPhone and reading. Am happy to give up a seat for anyone who needs but need to be aware first!!

I never had issues when pregnant and I used to commute then. Either people offered or I would say "excuse me would it be possible to me to sit down, I am pregnant" and they moved no issue.

I agree jacques, and I don't understand "no one asked them to move their bag" either.

Super Ginger said that her DCs have ASD AND hypermobility syndrome. It's a disability that puts them of higher risk of dislocating something if they fall. They are entitled to a seat to prevent this happening .

While I get that you may have missed my previous post, Super, there was absolutely no reason for you to be so dismissive of SNs. It's insulting and unnecessary. You don't know how hard we have worked to get my 10yo to the point where he can go longer distances without his wheelchair. He is in pain all day, every day, so when he makes the monumental effort to get out and about more, I don't think it's too much to let him stay seated on the tube or bus. My 7yo, thankfully, is not quite as bad, but also struggles. As I stated, we never ask anyone to give up a seat.

I do ask people to move their bags off seats on busy public transport. I dont ask people. Mainly because I don't know what hidden disabilities other adults might have and I dont want to shame them into giving me a seat. I also live in an area where I'm likely to be told to FRO or worse if I did ask them to give up their seat for me.
My Mum walks with a triwalker due to crippling arthritis. She's still had a bloke arguing the toss with her telling her he was more disabled than her and she should give up her priority seat for him. I wont use a stick yet because I'm stubborn as I'm young and in denial. On my bad days I'll put my headphones in and sit down. I probably look like an entitled arsehole too but tube twat dad is welcome to swap my smashed kneecap any time he wants.

Super are you for real? Dismissing SN out of hand, and being extremely rude and nasty about Ginger's kids until MNHQ thankfully stepped in and deleted your most offensive comments.
I know Ginger personally and she's a phenomenal Mum, her boys are lovely. They have every right to sit on public transport, without shitty comments and judgements. Ugh, attitudes like yours are why I won't take my boys on public transport.
Because you feel the need to eye roll and make unecessary comments while knowing the square root of fuck all about what's really going on.

If people are using a seat for shopping, then ask them politely but firmly to move it. I have done this many times on crowded buses and nobody has ever refused. They know they haven't paid for 2 seats.
I just ignore any tutting or eye-rolling.
So many people just won't ask, and the inconsiderate people who plonk bags on the seat next to them so often won't move them unless asked, even when the aisle is full of people standing.

Also, I understand when posters suggest people who need seats should ask. But I think there's resentment (well, I certainly feel it) that one should have to ask. Politeness & manners is about thinking of others before yourself - that's what I was taught. So no-one should have to ask - we should look out for others & help so they don't need to ask.

I travel on the tube regularly. I spend my time watching my iPad, listening to music etc. I wouldn't notice if Bill Clinton came and sat next to me. If I see someone in need of a seat I will of course offer mine but I don't spend the journey scanning the car to see if someone needs a seat. I don't think it is too much for someone in need of a seat to politely ask.

I once looked up from my paper to see a pregnant lady standing. I immediately got up and offered her my seat. As soon as I did, several other people nearer her did the same. They simply hadn't seen her.

I wouldn't routinely give up my seat for a child of any age. A toddler can sit on a parent's lap, or if the parent doesn't have a seat they can hold the parent's hand/leg/etc. However if someone specifically asked me to, because their child had a particular need and was too old to sit on the adult's lap, of course I would.

Super I had some hideous train commutes in early pregnancy, around 3-4 months when I wasn't showing, including one where I collapsed. I didn't have a badge (not a Londoner) and at times couldn't even get out of the vestibule into the carriage to even ask for a seat. I've given up on the train and am commuting by car for the rest of the pregnancy, even though it takes longer.

I once got on a packed train with my dad. An old lady got on with us. There was a chap with a laptop on the seat.

My dad asked him to move it to free up the seat. Chap refused. My dad then said "fine I'll just sit on it" and went to do so. Chap scrabbled to move laptop. Dad guided old lady to seat 😂

On a crowded (as in rush hour, completely rammed) tube I find both kids (5 and 8, the 8yo is very small for her age) a seat to share if I can, as they tend to get bashed on the head by people carrying bags who don't realise they're there. At any other time, they stand or the 5yo goes on my lap and the 8yo stands.

On my commute I avoid sitting in the priority seats, but still seem to end up standing as the person in the priority seat 'hasn't noticed' the baby on board sign / stick / polite request and leaves me to give up my seat instead. Surely they notice me asking if someone wants a seat and then standing up, reshuffling spaces so the person can get to it...