Dad on bus 'look at all these people sitting who won't let a child have a seat'

[Pipistrelle40]

Just that really, he got on with two boys aged about 10 and 8. People looked at each other and laughed. Old enough to stand surely.

Not about seats sorry but about verbal abuse on a bus. Young mother with toddler in pushchair, toddler kept blowing raspberries which was causing a lot of dribble. Mother had to keep wiping mouth so told him to stop. Toddler continued, mother pointed outside to the sky and said "the birdies will come and get you" !!? Toddler looked out at sky fearfully, asking "will they"? Held my tongue. She then gave him a drink and he choked, she laughed!! Held my tongue. Choked again, seeming to have something in his mouth. Mum runs a finger round the inside of his mouth, bus jolted, finger went to back of his mouth and choked him. At the exact moment where toddler was choking, tears in the eyes, panicking a bit, she actually laughed. Couldn't help myself, explained quietly and calmly how wrong that was. Another lady joined in, agreeing with me. Young mother went mad, most of it aimed at me for the rest of the journey. Culminating in child realising his mum was angry, throwing his plastic cup at me! She laughed saying "good boy, sticking up for mum against nasty lady".As i left the bus the abuse and taunting continued to my back with the toddler shouting "go way, go way". Unbelievable, poor kid, felt so sad for him. apologies for going off track of thread.

I was on a bus when DS was about 3 months old. I also had a 2 year old with me. Lots of teenagers on the bus and they just looked at me. I had to stand holding a baby and trying to keep my toddler steady. It was not easy and the teenagers were just looking at me and laughing. Luckily it was only a 10 minute journey

And at they way he said it. 10/10 for snidey passive aggression.

When I was heavily pregnant last year I was the only person on a crowded bus who gave up a seat when a very frail old man boarded. I moved further down the bus after some people got off and a young guy (who I assume hadn't seen the elderly man) kindly offered me his seat. I gratefully accepted, only to be treated to a lecture from the middle-aged woman SITTING next to me about how I shouldn't be travelling at busy times if I was no longer at work as "people like me" took up too much space!!

Why would you give up a seat for a toddle Isn't it usual for the parent to sit down and have the toddler on their lap?

We've had numerous adults offer us their seats to my children on the bus and the tube. I've not asked once. I don't make my children get up for an adult as my dcs have ASD and hypermobility which makes it difficult to balance when the bus/tube is moving. I will happily stand while they sit and have done so on many occasions. But no I won't tell them to get up for someone else as they struggle themselves.

I will clarify that if we get on the bus or tube and there are no seats open, then we stand. We simply make sure the dcs are well braced so they don't fall. No fuss made.

Tokelau - happens all too frequently in A&E unfortunately. Some people really are entitled arseholes.
Took DD to A&E on Wednesday, waiting room was full but there were maybe only 1/2 a dozen kids, the rest were adults who didn't move when I was looking for a seat for DD.

She was triaged as a 2, second highest category, the rest of the kids were there for broken fingers etc.
Thankfully the nurse saw us come in and we got taken straight away.

I was enormously pregnant on the tube just before Christmas a few years ago. The tube was rammed. No one offered me a seat. Fine, it was only a 20 minute journey. But then the train stopped and we had to wait 45 minutes for it to go again. Still no one offered me a seat. I was in quite a lot of pain by the end.

I was with you until the toddler thing, OP. My just turned 3 year old DS can't really safely stand on a bus, though of course I keep him on my lap if it's full. If neither of us have a seat I won't ask for one but he usually gets offered one. I will say that he does love a window seat, and he will whine and moan (though not scream) if he doesn't get one. I always cut him off and tell him he can't always have one just because he wants one, etc., but inevitably some well-intentioned person gives him one. If I politely decline, they often insist. So, despite what I tell DS, the lesson he's learned is that whining=window seat. Kids learn much more from what they see happen than what they hear from their parents.

" Still no one offered me a seat. I was in quite a lot of pain by the end."

you should have asked Being,

Lol, at 8 years old I would have preferred to stand, more fun

I give up my seat for toddlers. Not 8 and 10 year olds!

I bet dad never bothers to do the bus journey with the children and consequently has no idea what a knob he is. Reminds me of the person I saw recently who got on the bus with his wife and announced loudly 'my wife is pregnant' to the woman in the priority seat. Even halfway across the bus I could see perfectly well so was she! Not that both women shouldn't have had seats, and both got them as someone else stood up, but he spent the rest of the trip talking loudly about his car being in the shop, in case we plebs were in any doubt that he wouldn't normally subject his poor pregnant wife to this indignity.

Regthemonkey you'd not have been standing for more than a few seconds if I'd been on that bus. No way would I have been able to sit there and see you hanging on for dear life and not got up out of my seat!

What is WRONG with people?!

My dcs are 7 and 10 and really do need to sit on transport. I don't ask as we are rarely in a situation where they have to stand for long, but neither will I have them get up for someone else. I will quite happily get up myself so someone else can have a seat.

I always give my kids a seat and stand myself if it's busy, just because I find they're not great at not tumbling over when the train or bus jolts or stops. But if someone older/ more infirm / pregnant whatever than me was standing while the kids were sitting i'd haul them up pretty quickly!

I live in London and being it's employee use buses and tubes to get around. I also have a ten year old daughter.

When she was small quite often nobody gave up their seat for us. If there was one seat, she sat on my lap.

Now she us almost as tall as me, she can't obviously sit on my lap without damaging her street cred so I tell her because she is free on the buses and tubes at the moment, she can take a seat until someone with more need requires it. Simple manners and etiquette. She is still a bit self-obsessed so I have to remind her.

Aged 11 DD will pay half fare but the same principle applies. I am trying to make her aware of people who may be too ashamed or proud to ask.

The bus was in Barnes? Not surprised. Probably using the bus as a fairground ride. W**kpuffin.

I have seen parents demand seats for their (able) kids from elderly and disabled people too. If I am in my TfL uniform I abuse my position to restore justice in those situations.

Would might give my seat to a toddler but not one that gets on the bus and screams 'I want a seat' repeatedly.

You're talking as if the toddler has boarded the bus on their own.

Regardless of their behaviour, most toddlers just aren't capable of standing safy. If there was an accident how would you feel? I bet your self righteous "I'm not giving my seat up for an annoying child that really should have one" would disappear.

I was on the tube with my 2 yr old dd about 2 months ago abs we were stood my dd was enjoying it as the tube was "wibbly wobbly and was giggling away"

This lady took it upon her self to shout at teenage boy to get his arse out of the seat and let my dd sit down - I was mortified an even when I pointed out we were happy to stand and the young man had actually offered to get up and we'd declined as my dd liked to stand she just continued to embarrass me and the young man

Totally YANBU

On the tube, kids routinely stand from 7+, and if you offer a seat they or their parents decline #goLondon

On the other hand, I am a little meh at the "baby on board" stickers pregnant women wear on the tube. They get escorted through the crowds to the seats and woe is you if you don't look up from your book to see them on time. I saw a man with a dreadful hacking cough stand up for a woman who looked totally fine - positively blooming- and wasn't showing. Or my friend who had to stand for one while on her way for a daily dose of radiotherapy..

Obviously visibly pregnant or those feeling unwell - no problem giving up my seat. It's the sense that all pregnant women need a seat more than everyone else that flummoxes me.

Ginger why do your kids "really do need to sit on public transport?!" bets it's SN etc

Are you seriously suggesting SN can't affect children in such a way that they're unsafe to stand?

As nickel says it is only within my lifetime (not that old!) that children paying a half fare (or no fare at all) were expected to stand if the bus was busy. And if they didn't do it automatically, the conductor would make them

What has happened within a few generations that now people are expected (by some) to give up their seats for a child?

I am similarly puzzled. Where I grew up, there were rarely conductors (the Australian "Pay as You Enter" buses) so the bus driver would keep an eye via his mirror into the bus, and yell at teens who sat down if there were adults standing. I remember once a driver pulling in to the kerb and stopping until a couple of young people complied.

I wonder if, in this case, it was a man who rarely takes on the "chore" of getting out & about, and so doesn't realise how to behave on buses?