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Original poster

Dad on bus 'look at all these people sitting who won't let a child have a seat'

415 replies

Pipistrelle40 · 10/12/2016 20:46

Just that really, he got on with two boys aged about 10 and 8. People looked at each other and laughed. Old enough to stand surely.

OP posts:
GingerIvy · 11/12/2016 18:31

Mine have been panicked because of recent work on the Picadilly line that means there is occasionally a delay. The horrified look when they realised they would have to wait 7 minutes for the tube instead of 3. They were a bundle of nerves by the time the tube got there. 45 minutes? Not a chance! Would it not have been less stressful to pay for a taxi? Confused

beggingbehind · 11/12/2016 18:31

But you could've got on the bus. If you had a folding wheelchair. If it's only one baby you could get a small pram or invest in a more easily foldable one. How about asking the driver, the drivers around my area are good at giving advice. I was thinking of your where do I put the folded chair Dilema. You know the priority seats with extra leg room you take up a double seat there but the buggy. There and you and the older child have a seat while the Bain sits on your lap could thag be an idea

beggingbehind · 11/12/2016 18:31

Folding pushchair sorry

beggingbehind · 11/12/2016 18:34

Yea my DS with dyspraxia hrts stressed if the bus or train is late more than two minutes (even if it's two minutes early) as he likes to stick to a schedule he's even told a bus driver of before 😂

woodhill · 11/12/2016 18:34

away I would have sat down on the park bench, blow that.

My DM and I had this in a play area in a park and we made the women move up so we could sit down and their ds came back and gave us the evils. Too bad.

Flucker · 11/12/2016 18:36

I have the "misfortune" of catching the same bus home from the closet bus stop to a private school. The school kids on that trip are among some of the rudest people ever. I've been standing on the bus when very elderly and evidently very frail people have got on and they have been forced to stand. I was brought up to always offer my seat to someone less able to stand so seeing this in action really offended me.

I asked very loudly at the kids "why are you all sat down when these elderly people are standing up?" Lots of them got up but that's not the point.

On the flip side, I once asked someone if I could sit in the empty seat next to her. I got the rolled eyes and kissed teeth in response. I stood my ground and she got up, moving her soaking fucking wet umbrella off said empty seat so I took some tissue out of my bag and made her wait while I dried the seat off.

On my way to work, I'll sit on the aisle seat because I get off before most people, it's generally standing room only and I get claustrophobic if I'm penned into the window seat but I never put my bag on the seat and will always offer the empty seat next to me to anyone looking for a seat.

Wheelchair spaces on the bus are a legal requirement. Buggy spaces on a bus are a convenience only

Miserylovescompany2 · 11/12/2016 18:36

There are no spaces to put a folded pram. The luggage space no longer exists. When I travel with all three children, it's far safer for the baby to be in her pram. Both boys struggle greatly, I have to be ready to intervene and physically separate then. Ideal no, but, I don't have a choice?

Like I mentioned earlier, I need the robust pram to withstand the walking (school run 30 mile per week) I drop teen off for his respite (2 hours) and head straight on to return school walk. Which there is no direct bus route, so it's actually quicker walking?

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 11/12/2016 18:37

Flucker have you tried writing to the headteacher of the school? I bet s/he would give them a rocket - very bad for the image of the school.

MiaowTheCat · 11/12/2016 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Miserylovescompany2 · 11/12/2016 19:01

I should have mentioned my other children in the initial post. I didn't because my gripe was with the priority sitting. I have never taken a wheelchair users space.

Thank you for suggestions made re folding umbrella pushchair, I will pursue that when my daughter is more able. Right now she is safer in an unfolded pushchair.

Tomorrow we intend to travel before 9.30 as its normally quieter, it just means hanging around prior to my sons appointment, hopefully, the journey will be less stressful for him. The appointment is actually to address his heightened anxiety.

I don't begrudge an elderly person having a seat. I do begrudge them not moving when politely asked. Especially when there is a spare seat?

Reading back through my initial posts, I haven't done a great job of explaining myself? So I've probably deserved the comments I received...

Littlesmiler · 11/12/2016 19:07

At 8 & 10 they should be standing. However we went on holiday this year with our 3 year old (she'd been 3 for 2 weeks!) and we're on the bus in the airport going to the plane and people all have ruddy huge great hand luggage bags about everywhere, all young/middle aged people barged past us and bagged a seat, and our little girl had to stand and was being flung around on the bus, dad ended up picking her up trying to hold onto a hand rail as well as holding her and the bus stopped quite harshly and they ended up on the floor. Bloody traumatic. Some people have no consideration.

Miserylovescompany2 · 11/12/2016 19:14

Would it have been less stressful to use a taxi? I wish I could, unfortunately, teen will not enter one. His last taxi memory was mid-melt-down. Coming home from school in a very heightened state 1 hour journey home, taxi had to call police...police bundled then 12YO in back of police van! He still has flash backs and physically shakes when he sees a taxi. The taxi driver had restrained him in a not trained way? Hence why we bus...

Flucker · 11/12/2016 19:15

Countess no, I'd not thought of it but I might do so in future - that school is v v expensive so you're right, they probably wouldn't want that kind of behaviour tarnishing their reputation

beggingbehind · 11/12/2016 19:16

misery * would just like to get your story straight. You went from having.
1 small child in a pram
To two infants in a pram
To two disabled children and one in a pram
To a autistic teen and a child in a pram.
To one child in a pram an autistic teen and another autistic child.
Which one is it I'm confused

Original poster
Pipistrelle40 · 11/12/2016 19:18

Don't travel through Barnes by bus if you are pregnant. Yoof recently heard telling lady her 'problem' was self inflicted so like hell was he gonna give her his seat! Thought there was going to be a lynching.

OP posts:
haystack10 · 11/12/2016 19:24

You still don't get it do you, Misery? You just can't ask an elderly or disabled person to move. Some of them are actually still recovering from the few steps to the bus stop and into the bus. They may well need some recovery time, 10, 15, 20 minutes, etc. Some illnesses, disabilities need recovery time and they literally cannot move!!

RichardBucket · 11/12/2016 19:28

I don't begrudge an elderly person having a seat. I do begrudge them not moving when politely asked.

Oh fgs. You bang on and on and on about how your daughter needs to be sat in her pram but can't understand why another person might need to stay in their seat?

It's like talking to a brick wall. A brick wall who doesn't understand what question marks are.

beggingbehind · 11/12/2016 19:30

And Misery asking an older person to move is actually the same as asking a wheelchair user to move from the space as you believe your more emotion it's to it as you won't fold your pram

beggingbehind · 11/12/2016 19:30

*entitileted

beggingbehind · 11/12/2016 19:31

*Entitled I'm
Not doing well -Auto correct 😂

ghostspirit · 11/12/2016 19:36

With the seat being empty next to some one I do agree other people should be able to sit on that empty seat. It could be another elderly person or pregnant woman or disability.

I get the elderly person may find it hard to move. But other people may need that empty seat to.

RichardBucket · 11/12/2016 19:37

Other people can sit on the empty seat...

Misery wants the person to move from their seat to another seat, because Misery would find that seat more convenient due to her unsafe buggy/carrying 14 children/some other version of her story.

KERALA1 · 11/12/2016 19:37

Agree re entitled dads, especially with pfbs. We got glowered and tutted by a pair of them in the park for daring to cycle slowly past them. My 8 and 10 year olds very good cyclists and were on the road.

This thread giving me flashbacks of vomiting into a plastic bag on my London commute in early pregnancy. I felt like death for 3 months. Still want to lamp anyone who trills "pregnancy is not an illness". For some of us it is.

crashdoll · 11/12/2016 19:39

Misery you massively drip fed that bit of info. You complained that you were tired, never mentioned your teen with additional needs who requires a seat. You know I did not say that, stop twisting. I clearly said that a non-disabled person doesn't need a seat. Your child does, so he is more than entitled to a seat.

Ghost you should read the thread. Nobody mentioned that poster's child because she didn't drip feed that piece of info into later.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 11/12/2016 19:43

I'm Shock at people thinking they need a priority seat more than an eldelery person because they want to be near their pram!

FWIW DD was a crap sleeper as a baby, going out in the pram, then parking her in the hallway, was the only way I could get a nap during the day, the second she'd fall asleep in it I'd rush home. Sometimes I'd take the bus home and would hope and pray that no one would need priority seating area as it meant I'd have to take her out the carrycot and fold the pram etc. Mostly I was OK but the odd time it did happen I could have cried as I knew it would wake her and I wouldn't get a rest. However I was never blinkered enough to think that I should have done anything other than collapsed the pram. Although again it was a fucking nightmare half the time as no one offered to help so I would struggle to fold the pram as I held her and the driver never ever waited before setting off Angry