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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I bought my council house...I feel horribly guilty and anxious

307 replies

RodMunch · 09/12/2016 10:49

I got it for less than half market value, we had a small deposit too so as a result our mortgage is miniscule. DH earns well and because of this, I don't really need to work. I have 3 dc, 2 at school and the littlest is 3. I do some voluntary work but mostly just stay at home with him.

We have had the house a year in January. I feel incredibly guilty seeing my friends suffer juggling jobs and childcare and stuff and paying loads out in rent / mortgage. The only reason we could TTC for dc3 was due to being in a council property so the rent was ok. It sucks and its unfair ...I don't deserve what I have...I got the house originally by the skin of my teeth 8 years ago as a single mum, no one gets houses now and I have taken another one away. and I am part of the unfairness and I don't like myself much for it :(

It sounds mad...I can't believe my luck but feel I don't deserve it. DH and I are happy and the DC want for nothing but I honestly feel like something is going to go horribly wrong for us as a sort of karma. Blush

I identify as left wing yet I feel like I have completely gone against my principles and profited massively from a Tory policy that has ruined council housing in this country.

OP posts:
doomf · 09/12/2016 10:52
Hmm

Stop worrying

witsender · 09/12/2016 10:53

What are you wanting here?

Cleorapter · 09/12/2016 10:54

Anyone would do the same thing though surely?

Life isn't fair in general. You have been dealt a good hand, I understand why you feel guilty for it, but if I were you I would just count my blessings.

YelloDraw · 09/12/2016 10:54

I identify as left wing yet I feel like I have completely gone against my principles and profited massively from a Tory policy that has ruined council housing in this country.

Well you will just have to reconcile yourself to the fact that (like most people) you aren't actually moral enough to live by the principles you tell people you live by, when it would disadvantage yourself.

SaucyJack · 09/12/2016 10:55

"I identify as left wing yet I feel like I have completely gone against my principles and profited massively from a Tory policy that has ruined council housing in this country."

Well, yeah. That's because you have basically.

Other people have done worse things. Other people have done better things.

Meh. What's done is done.

LlamaDrama · 09/12/2016 10:55

I'd love to say don't worry about it, but I hate the Right to Buy scheme for all the reasons that you have mentioned plus more.

That said, th scheme exists as it does and you haven't broken any rules so it's not for you to feel bad. It's just a shit and unfair system

JustHereForThePooStories · 09/12/2016 10:56

What's your AIBU? You've stated that you have core values that you've gone against for financial and personal gain. Are you asking if you were unreasonable to do it in the first place, or for doing it and then coming over all aghast?

ArmySal · 09/12/2016 10:57

Sell it and donate the money to charity? What's your AIBU, exactly?

aforestgrewandgrew · 09/12/2016 10:57

The main problem with right to buy was when it was set up, councils were forbidden from reinvesting the money in housing.

The Tories are actively trying to destroy the welfare state. Labour did nothing to address the housing crisis when they had a chance.

It's not your fault!

taytopotato · 09/12/2016 11:02

What is done is done and you just have to move forward. Flowers

Why not support your local foodbank? Not just a one off donation but continue to do it on a long term basis. There are a lot of people struggling to make ends meet.

Gymnopedies · 09/12/2016 11:03

Do you have low self esteem? Are you often feeling sad or on an emotional rollercoaster? I am asking because you might have depression.
It's not you who has caused the housing situation or poverty in the UK, it's very very wealthy people hoarding all the ressources. You are doing your best for your children, nothing wrong with that. But do give/help as much with charities as you can, there are always people in need.

APairofScarletSequinedWings · 09/12/2016 11:05

Really? You've lived there just a year?

righttobuy.gov.uk/am-i-eligible/

From May 2015, the eligibility criteria has been reduced from five years public sector tenancy to three. This means you now have to be a tenant for three years instead of five before you can apply to buy your home.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 09/12/2016 11:05

I go against my core values every time I eat meat (just finished a roll and sausage). Smile

Somehow I cope. I suggest you too find a way, OP. Or sell your home and rent. Pointless handwringing helps no-one.

BobbieDog · 09/12/2016 11:06

The best thing to do is not discuss with anyone how much your mortgage is or any other outgoings you have.

People are very nosey were money is concerned and that can lead to jealously and resentment.

It makes me extremerly uncomfortable walking past a homeless person when i have a home to go to. Everyone's circumstances are different.

formerbabe · 09/12/2016 11:06

I don't agree with right to buy.

If anyone can afford to rent or buy in the private sector, they should imo.

There's families languishing in temporary accommodation ffs.

ArmySal · 09/12/2016 11:06

She got the house 8 years ago, APair.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 09/12/2016 11:07

I think she said she'd been there 8 years and bought over a year ago?

RTB has been removed in Scotland now so nobody up here can morally imperil (?) themselves anymore, more's the pity.

Ahickiefromkinickie · 09/12/2016 11:07

Do you want us to say 'Poor, OP, having to live with buying a house at half its market value with a low mortgage'?

Everyone should do what's best for their family, but your faux guilt is unseemly and grating.

YABU

Cornettoninja · 09/12/2016 11:07

I think op means they've owned the house for a year. She clearly states she originally got the house when she was a single mum eight years ago.

Reading is fun.

DurhamDurham · 09/12/2016 11:07

It's done now so you have no option but to make peace with your choices; you've put yourself and your family before your principles and values and to be honest most of us would do the same.
You can either shrug and carry on enjoying your home or you can wring your hands and beat yourself up about it, it won't make a difference to the outcome.

SoupDragon · 09/12/2016 11:09

Have you joined MN for a bunfight or to write a news article?

ALemonyPea · 09/12/2016 11:09

How did you manage to get it for les than half the market value? You have to live in a council for 20 years to get 50% discount, or have your council got a different discount?

ElleMcElle · 09/12/2016 11:10

The system is massively unfair, and yes - you are right when you say that you have taken a house away from a family in greater need. But it would be an extraordinarily principled person who didn't take advantage of the opportunity. I don't agree with your choice, but there's every chance I would have done the same thing in your position.

Supporting a food bank is a good idea. Or find out if there's a womens' refuge near you - many of them are facing terrible funding shortages and would really appreciate your donation / time.

baconandeggies · 09/12/2016 11:11

It's done - but agree with the idea to regularly contribute to a food bank, or maybe contribute to your local area in some other way to alleviate your guilt?

CecilyP · 09/12/2016 11:11

If you hadn't bought the house, would you have moved out and bought another house, or would you have continued in the same house as a tenant? If the latter, you haven't really taken one away. If you feel really bad you can always sell this one during the period you have to pay your discount back. It is up to the government to change the policy if they see fit. If you are just comfortable, you have done nothing wrong - I would only judge you if your DH was earning a absolute fortune and you could easily buy on the open market. And as for karma, millions of people have taken this opportunity with nothing bad happening.

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