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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I bought my council house...I feel horribly guilty and anxious

307 replies

RodMunch · 09/12/2016 10:49

I got it for less than half market value, we had a small deposit too so as a result our mortgage is miniscule. DH earns well and because of this, I don't really need to work. I have 3 dc, 2 at school and the littlest is 3. I do some voluntary work but mostly just stay at home with him.

We have had the house a year in January. I feel incredibly guilty seeing my friends suffer juggling jobs and childcare and stuff and paying loads out in rent / mortgage. The only reason we could TTC for dc3 was due to being in a council property so the rent was ok. It sucks and its unfair ...I don't deserve what I have...I got the house originally by the skin of my teeth 8 years ago as a single mum, no one gets houses now and I have taken another one away. and I am part of the unfairness and I don't like myself much for it :(

It sounds mad...I can't believe my luck but feel I don't deserve it. DH and I are happy and the DC want for nothing but I honestly feel like something is going to go horribly wrong for us as a sort of karma. Blush

I identify as left wing yet I feel like I have completely gone against my principles and profited massively from a Tory policy that has ruined council housing in this country.

OP posts:
SuperRainbows · 09/12/2016 11:24

I think you have been given an unnecessarily hard time here op.
You are looking after 3 dcs and being treated for anxiety.
You were lucky with this situation, but it would have been daft not to have taken the opportunity. You've done nothing wrong.

I feel sad for you that you cannot accept this without feeling guilty.

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy · 09/12/2016 11:24

formerbabe

There is a much much bigger impact on society though when the system is rigged to favour the UHNW individuals. The societal impact is astronomical whereas this example here, of 1 council house, has. Sry little impact on the entire economy. Unlike UHNW individuals and Corporate tax dodgers.

alotlikeChristmas16 · 09/12/2016 11:24

oh come on, hypocrisy? Not allowed to vote labour anymore? Absolute rubbish. Don't take these criticisms seriously op, people do love to be holier than thou. Labour didn't overturn right to buy, did it?

MrsJayy · 09/12/2016 11:24

We bought our council flat in 99 i was really uncomfy about it i put it off for ages but did it anyway no regrets now i think its fine to put you and yours first

antimatter · 09/12/2016 11:26

Calculate the difference you would have paid for mortgage and donate it in time or money to your local community.

MissStein · 09/12/2016 11:26

I bought my Council house and i dont feel guilty about it, not even a tad hypocritical even though i believe pretty much the same as you, But im glad they have stopped in now (in Scotland) as it has decimated the housing stock. It had its time, it benefitted some people (myself included) but at the cost to future generations. But thats life. Thankfully I have a government that put a stop to it.

formerbabe · 09/12/2016 11:26

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy

I'm making the point that rich or poor, self interest generally overrides altruism.

Those whose politics are to the left generally seem to be the biggest hypocrites around.

alotlikeChristmas16 · 09/12/2016 11:27

i don't see why you have to be a better person than 99.9% of other people op. i don't think you have to give the difference away so your family can struggle too.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 09/12/2016 11:27

i think its fine to put you and yours first

Sadly, when everyone feels like this, everything collapses.

ArmySal · 09/12/2016 11:29

MissStein That hypocrisy is breathtaking.

MrsJayy · 09/12/2016 11:30

Watsgoingon are you and yours not ok ?

WhatsGoingOnEh · 09/12/2016 11:31

Once you're in a council house, do they stop checking you're still entitled to have it? If you could get married to a well-paid man and have several thousand in the bank, you surely no longer actually qualified for that house. Don't they check?

It seems crazy that my tax credits stopped the second that DH moved in with me, but if I'd got a council house and won the Lottery, I could've stayed there forever. ??

alotlikeChristmas16 · 09/12/2016 11:31

no whats that's when government has to design policies that avoid everything collapsing and balance competing priorities. This is a systemic and not an individual failure.

formerbabe · 09/12/2016 11:33

Not directing this at the op but generally when those on the left go against their principles...the cry is...

It's not me, it's the system.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 09/12/2016 11:33

MissStein That is the biggest i'm ok sod everyone else' post I've seen on here in a while Hmm

Manumission · 09/12/2016 11:34

This must be the 3rd thread in as many months on this subject?

I don't understand what people want from them?

Validation? To rub it into those who will never own their own homes?

Or something else? I'm genuinely confused.

Weird self-flagellation laced with virtue-signalling worra.

Complete waste of time AFAICS, unless word has got around the subs of the BDSM that this is the delete-proof way to come over here and get your thrills being told off sternly by a bunch of scary MC vipers Wink

ShotsFired · 09/12/2016 11:35

This whole "I identify as left wing" sounds the same as trans announcements.

You may "identify" as leftwing, but you're "biologically" Conservative. You had no need to buy the house, you have a secure, cheap tenancy for life. The only reason you "needed" to buy was to take advantage of the profit you will make from it.

I say that as a C voter myself, so I'm not dissing your reasons, but be at least upfront about them. Unless of course there is a dripfeed about to be revealed whereby you are going to sell at market peak and plough the lot into social welfare charities and good causes?

APairofScarletSequinedWings · 09/12/2016 11:37

We have had the house a year in January. I feel incredibly guilty seeing my friends suffer juggling jobs and childcare and stuff and paying loads out in rent / mortgage.

Which is it, a year or 8?

Either way, I disagree with RTB, and you maybe should have thought about all of this before you went ahead.

BadLad · 09/12/2016 11:37

You are a complete hypocrite, but don't worry - so are most other people. Principles are much easier to have when they are things you would do, if only you could, rather than things you are actually in a position to do. This forum is full of such bullshit. People claim that they would take refugees into their spare bedrooms if the had any. People claim that if they were flying first business class and saw a pregnant woman in economy looking uncomfortable they'd swap with her. People say that if they could afford a Jaguar they'd still buy a Skoda, and give the difference to charity. The key word is "would". Few people are actually prepared to do this things, and I suspect the same is true of resisting the temptation to buy council houses very cheaply.

WeAllHaveWings · 09/12/2016 11:39

Op you make a completely logical decision for your family. You have given them a secure roof over their heads and shouldn't feel guilty for that.

You had the right to buy. You haven't stolen anything from anyone. The government should provide enough social housing, they can allow the right to buy and still do this, it is their decision how much social housing is budgeted for and made available not yours so morally you have done nothing wrong.

I have private health care provided with my job, I believe in the NHS but wouldn't think twice about using the private health care if my family or I needed it.

ArmySal · 09/12/2016 11:40

It's easy to understand, APair.

Lived there 8 years, mortgage for 1 year.

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy · 09/12/2016 11:40

Those whose politics are to the left generally seem to be the biggest hypocrites around.

Meh, it's the usual trope of the "champagne socialist", etc. Many who are egalitarian are concerned with equality of opportunity, not strict equality in everything.

The OP has a social conscience and can see the injustice in her situation, they feel the cognitive dissonance but aren't strictly doing anything illegal or harmful. We all live with that dissonance to some degree or another in various areas of our lives.

The difference is the social impact of a tax dodging corporation or UHNW individual vs 1 family buying a council house, the societal impact is grossly disproportionate and grossly unfair.

APairofScarletSequinedWings · 09/12/2016 11:40

So you have owned the house for a year, but had it for 8. Got it.

YABU

MrsJayy · 09/12/2016 11:41

badlad I agree with you most people are hypocritical about a lot of things and most people put their families first

Original poster
RodMunch · 09/12/2016 11:42

You had no need to buy the house, you have a secure, cheap tenancy for life

Not quite true anymore ShotsFired .....our rent was due to significantly increase next year as some new rules have come in. It would have been more than double my new mortgage, and ironically, more than a mortgage on a market value house similar to mine.

Again, Doesn't make it right us buying though

OP posts:
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