I bought my council house...I feel horribly guilty and anxious

[RodMunch]

I got it for less than half market value, we had a small deposit too so as a result our mortgage is miniscule. DH earns well and because of this, I don't really need to work. I have 3 dc, 2 at school and the littlest is 3. I do some voluntary work but mostly just stay at home with him.

We have had the house a year in January. I feel incredibly guilty seeing my friends suffer juggling jobs and childcare and stuff and paying loads out in rent / mortgage. The only reason we could TTC for dc3 was due to being in a council property so the rent was ok. It sucks and its unfair ...I don't deserve what I have...I got the house originally by the skin of my teeth 8 years ago as a single mum, no one gets houses now and I have taken another one away. and I am part of the unfairness and I don't like myself much for it :(

It sounds mad...I can't believe my luck but feel I don't deserve it. DH and I are happy and the DC want for nothing but I honestly feel like something is going to go horribly wrong for us as a sort of karma.

I identify as left wing yet I feel like I have completely gone against my principles and profited massively from a Tory policy that has ruined council housing in this country.

indigox Sure, I get that but you weren't single for the entire 8 years, there was a point where you were renting and no longer needed the cheap rent but took advantage of it anyway.

I know a couple who were poor as church mice with a(n unplanned) new baby when they got their first council 1 bed flat in one of scuzziest places I have ever known. As the family grew they moved, and now live in a 4 bed house.

Some 25 years later, both parents work full time, one in a very good job, and can easily afford market rents. All but one of the children has left home. However in the past 10 or so years, they've had full new CH throughout, new bathroom, new kitchen, new fencing, plus any repairs along the way - all 100% free of charge. The only thing left is a new roof, which I believe is on the cards within the next programme of major works. Last time I asked (a few years ago admittedly), their rent was

you can become a council house tennant regardless of how much you earn. Victoria Beckham could apply for a house if she wanted. The only criteria, for most councils, is that you don't already own a home.

But that's not the case here.

This is about changing circumstances, you have to notify of all changes and your entitlement to benefits changes.
Just not when you have a council accommodation?
OP's circumstances are different from when she was housed. Which is understandable, everyone's circumstances change.
But surely it's not right on the people on the waiting lists?

As for the OP, I have no idea what she expected from the thread, apart from some validation.

I say good luck to you.

My sister bought her first house, a two up two down for £3000 in 1978.

Eleven years after that I bought my first house, a two up two down, for £65,000.

Thirty years on she has no mortgage and I still have a big one.

Lucky her, that's all I can say! Lucky you!

Try not to worry about it. People get "lucky breaks" that others don't all the time.

With ref to your socialist beliefs, just see yourself as wishing that other people could have the good fortune that you have had. The selling of housing stock is one of those issues that people argue and argue about - I have my views of course - which just proves that it's a complex issue without a black and white answer.

Count your blessings and enjoy it. I'm one of those who slog it out and juggle childcare.. skint as a result! So from me to you, stop feeling guilty and enjoy your wee family x

There is one thing wrong with the Right to Buy scheme, and that's that the money isn't reinvested in building new houses.

The fact that you used council housing a stepping stone when you needed it, got yourself and your family into a position of financial security, and are now able to commit to buying a secure home for them is, in the greater societal sense, GOOD for the rest of the country.

More stable home life for your children is likely to mean they'll have a better educational outcome which means they're more likely to contribute in all sorts of was when they grow up. You and your DH are not at the vagaries of the private letting agents, and you're unlikely to make demands on emergency housing or housing benefit ever again (you have insurance for your mortgage right, with one sole earner?). All that is GOOD STUFF.

And if you really want to feel less guilty, when you get old the council may still reclaim and sell that house to pay for your care home fees.

The only immoral thing here I can see is that there is no statutory guarrantee that the funds the council raised through selling your house go to building or buying new social housing. That' it.

Why feel guilty....it is a dog eat dog world!

*Not directing this at the op but generally when those on the left go against their principles...the cry is...

It's not me, it's the system.*

This. In bucket loads.
I know someone who is very left leaning and tells everyone that Grammar schools are evil, we must get rid of them, the other secondary schools in the area suffer, because the only people that can get their kids into good schools pay for tuition etc. Etc.
Guess where 2 of her children go? That debate was shut down fast.

If faced with the OP's situation, most people would have bought the place no matter what their political leanings.
OP, you looked out for your family first. I struggle to believe that anyone would behave any differently in your situation.

I find some of the attitudes on this thread very, very sad.

It is quite depressing and shows how society as a whole is quite tainted.

I'm sure some of you think I am living in a dream world and completely delusional, but why do I have to live in such a sad, selfish society?

I don't see the issue

If faced with the OP's situation, most people would have bought the place no matter what their political leanings.
OP, you looked out for your family first. I struggle to believe that anyone would behave any differently in your situation.

But why does that make it ok? Your using it as some sort of a pass that as long as you were think of YOUR family and YOUR children that makes it all ok.

It doesn't matter if anyone or nobody would behave differently it matters that you live with your principles and compassion for others.
She has said they could afford private rent/buy so it was hardly like she would have been leaving her kids without a home.

It's a bit late to feel guilty and if it is causing you so much anxiety you shouldn't have gone ahead with it. The friend you lost was probably due to your boasting which it seems you are doing here.

I'm totally baffled as to why people aren't reassessed as their situation improves, as the OPs situation has improved massively over the past 8 years, so they can be moved into accommodation (private) that they can now afford, freeing up the council house for someone else who is presently in need, whereas someone in OPs position isn't in need now as they once were.
That's what makes a mockery of the current system

I can understand you wanting to talk this through.

I think one way of looking at this is: who are you comparing yourself to? It sounds as if you feel guilty about having an easier time than some. It is true that currently housing costs are for many people insane and make their lives stressful.

However. Council houses were NOT set up originally for those in "dire need" (as a PP said). they were set up for everyone and everyone was supposed to have access to good, cheap housing. It is a deformation of the system that this is no longer the case, not the way it is supposed to be.

So: your husband WOH, you SAHP and take good care of your dcs, you don't have to sell something every month to pay the mortgage. That was once what life was supposed to be like for everyone.

The fact that it isn't, is not your fault.

You suffering (more) wouldn't help anyone else.

listen lovely, buying the council house is not the problem. that is a policy to help people who would notbe able to buy otherwise.

the problem is that there are not enough replacements being built. this is not your fault.

you would still be living in the bloody thing if you had not bought it and it still would not be availablefor someone else.

Actually, I don't think I would have done what OP did. Her situation has improved massively since she was given the house. She admits they can afford a conventional mortgage yet she used the system to enrich herself. If she feels, as I do, that social housing is really important, I'm not surprised she feels guilty. I have a friend doing much the same and I think less of her.

QeenLiz, being born bright doesn't mean you are born educated. It's about intelligence. And I think you'll find that on a parenting website many of us know some kids pick things up quicker than others. Gifted children show up, as do those with various learning difficulties.

I get why you feel conflicted. You were offered a deal it would be crazy for you and your family not to accept. But at the same time it disadvantages others.

Don't beat yourself up about it, many people would do the same with no pang of conscience.

It's the policy that's wrong not you.

it would be fascinating as a social experiment

Animal Farm?

I'm sure some of you think I am living in a dream world and completely delusional, but why do I have to live in such a sad, selfish society?

I think your moral outrage and indignation is rather misplaced with this OP. The OP has a conscience, they feel the dissonance o and understand social injustice, that doesn't remove them from the situation that they live in, we all want to better ourselves. Maybe things aren't quite as black and white as you are making them out to be. Life isn't a zero sum game.

Surely people saying it's the councils fault and people should be re-assessed, shouldn't the people living in council houses take some personal responsibility for recognising they can afford somewhere privately and to open up the council houses for those that need them?

If it makes you feel any better, my parents bought a house in a London borough in the 70s for 30 grand. (Not a council house obviously). They just sold it for over £5 million. What's fair about that? They're lovely people but they're academics, they've never earned huge amounts of money in their life.

My db paid cash for his then gf now his dw to buy her council house. Applied for it a month after council had installed New kitchen and bathroom. Got 60% discount. After they married he moved in and he rents out his house (mortgage free) as a btl. This means they both only need to work part-time. Yes can say morally wrong but I say good luck to them after a lifetime of nmw jobs, redundancy, illness etc. Although rtb feels wrong I would have been first in the queue if I had that opportunity. Successful people make the most of opportunities from whichever walk of life they are in!

Emilia

Actually I think my 'moral outrage' is quite justified and feel you are rather blind not to see why.

OP clearly didn't have enough of a conscience to stand by her principles.

shouldn't the people living in council houses take some personal responsibility for recognising they can afford somewhere privately I rent, and I cannot think of a situation in which it would be advisable for someone to self-declare and take themselves out of the situation. It isn't just about affordability (which might double their money on rent/mortgage from £500 to £1000 and cause a struggle on only one income), it's about stability. If you rent, you can only have a six month contract, no long-term contracts (well a year if you are lucky) and can be asked to leave after that. Some families bounce from landlord to landlord every year as they sell properties, get other tenants in. It would be foolish in the extreme to actively do this to yourself, and I really doubt anyone would feel that selfless they'd shaft their own family and family stability in relation to money, schools and so on to do so. I'd like someone to step forward and say they did, I simply don't think anyone actively places themselves into the private rental sector in the Uk unless they have simply no choice.

Unpopular opinion on MN but I agree with right to buy. You have paid your fair share in rent and been offered a chance to own a home you have lived in for years. Why on earth wouldn't you take advantage of that. We are human and ultimately we take care of ourselves and our families needs above anything else.

Gawd there's always at least one 'Saint' on these threads who claims to have more fragrant ethics than everyone else. You see the same in compensation cases - 'I wouldn't have accepted it' they say. It generally seems to come down to envy.